just thought i’d open up this space where we can introduce ourselves. the goal for dryjuly is continuous days sober. you can say what day you’re on today, and later i’ll do another post and you can report in your continuous days so far.
you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂
you can say who you are, what day you’re on, and WHY you’re doing #dryJuly
ok, i’ll start …
If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:
​I’m going to come right out and say this: I don't believe in self-sabotage. There I said it. Yikes.
YOU don’t do these shitty things ‘to yourself’. You have a brain that is misfiring.
YOU don’t drink and drive, Wolfie does. Alcohol does that.
And you know what? You being here, listening to this, reading the emails, it means something. It means you are worth it. And you know it.
​​I am going to make this full audio available for 24 hours​ even if you are not a podcast subscriber. You'll want to hear this. Start now, just for a few minutes. ​​​
​Sober Podcast 255. ​Self-Sabotage
You can ​leave a comment below, anonymous is fine. Once you listen to the audio, ​you can tell me if you heard anything new. ​
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(1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)
If alcohol is an elevator that only goes down, you can get off and stay off. Find the Exit. It's there. Sober inspired art thanks to mr.belle, here
see available paintings > artsober.com
How do you stay sober when you're dealing with family, extra people, chaos, lack of sleep, and travel.
The advice I have for sober travelling will apply to you whether you are travelling or not, because you always have to be creating a space where you’re safe to be sober.
And you know what? You need a lot more alone time than you think, so build it in. More in the full audio that is going out today to podcast subscribers.
Here's a clip where you can listen to a bit of the audio.
extract from Sober Podcast 254. How to Travel (You need more alone time than you think)
You can leave a comment below, anonymous is fine. Tell me the part that seems true for your experience ... To download the entire audio, you can use the link below.
Sign up for the ​podcast membership
(1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)
If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:
Yesterday i posted a clip from a recent podcast (SP249). Here is some of the transcript.
[2:15]
Every time you do something sober, you build resilience. You build a knowledge that you can get through it. You develop tools and supports, and you have a pattern of behaviour that gets you through things. So summer is not particularly difficult. It is not more difficult than winter. It is not more difficult than a snowstorm. It’s not more difficult than dealing with in-laws. It’s not more difficult than a sick kid.
Your head will tell you that it is, and your head will tell you that this is a unique experience that requires alcohol. But you can hear that, right? That’s wolfie. That’s not you.
Because it’s not true.
The people who tell me that summer is a trigger are the same people who tell me that a snowstorm is a trigger, that going to Egypt is a trigger, that going to the next town is a trigger, that driving downtown after supper is a trigger, that staying at home is a trigger.
That you have a brain that periodically thinks that drinking is a good idea, would be normal, but don’t get too hung up on the specifics of what your brain is saying is the reason.
It’s not summer.
It’s not because of summer.
email from pumpkin water (penpal #1805):
​“Ok start me over. I’m officially on day 1 again today … I had another drink last night … I didn’t finish it, but I did make the conscious choice to buy the pop, make the drink and then proceed to drink most of it. I slept terrible and I have a headache this morning. From part of a drink. This feels like an out of body experience because I was going along so well. So close to the 50 day mark even whereby I was looking forward to seeing my name on your blog celebration roundup. Well no celebration for me.
I’m trying to use your analogy of the elevator to understand what happened. So I got off the elevator and had been sober for 41 days, and was doing good on the floor I was at. Yes I had a few hard days, was sick, wanted to get back on the booze elevator here or there, but managed to stay on my floor and not get back on the elevator….
I need to face away from the elevator shaft. Not go back there. No matter who is on there and asks me to join them. No matter how much I miss it or think that just maybe I can get back in the elevator and hang out for a while taking the risk that it won’t drop. Cause it could drop. If I get back on again, it could drop a floor, maybe a few floors, or maybe drop right down to the bottom like a scary horror movie. I can’t take that risk. No I can’t.
I’m going to make this sober floor of mine beautiful. Yes it’s going to be work, but so worth it. I have a view out the windows. It’s a clear view. Not like the tiny cramped windowless box of the elevator. The elevator that only goes down.
Belle, your emails are like an intercom on my floor. I can reach out and talk to you for support and help to get this new floor of mine going. I’ll email you every day.”
If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:
​i get up, and most days i have some kind of plan. ​I don't always DO the things on my plan, but i start off with one.​
​​Yesterday i met someone who looked like me. she had plans. she had this amazing list of things to do and learn. she talked about her passions and her adventures and her event-attendance, one thing after another, always so much to learn, never enough time.​
it looked exhausting.
​I saw myself perhaps how my husband sees me (in fact he said these actual words to me last weekend: why do we have to plan lunch? - it was 11 a.m., we were in a store with good food, i said let's get something for lunch while we're here, he's like but i'm not even hungry, and i'm like you'll be hungry later, and he's like why can't we just go for a walk at 11 a.m. and not have it mean something).
​harrumph.
so yesterday, when i met this woman, i thought - oh that's what it looks like.
trying to fill a hole with stuff.
now, don't get me wrong. it's light-years better than trying to fill that hole with booze. better to be curious and open and eager to learn. agreed.
but also, nothing wrong with sitting on the couch on a sunny day in my husband's pyjama bottoms with a gigantic hole in them, ​reading back issues of New York magazine, ​having no plan except to drink more decaf.
i'm going to experiment with that today. see how i do.
Question: what happens when you just sit. you watch the royal wedding, or you flip through magazines, or you stop forcefully achieving, even for an afternoon. what happens?
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ONLINE RADIO (no kidding)
I was broadcasting live but now it’s over. i do this every so often. best if you’re on the mailing list, then you’ll get a notification when i go live. not on the Everyting email list? do that here.
podcast subscribers get a copy of the audios automatically. if you’re not a podcast subscriber, you should be 🙂
RECORDING HAS NOW ENDED
every so often i do a live online radio broadcast. I change the times and days of the week to hopefully rotate through the timezones so that everyone hear it live on occasion.
And today, I will be broadcasting live in about 4 minutes. Like i’ve turned on the recording already, and i’m just waiting for you to join in 🙂 Check the time on this post and add a couple of minutes. That’s when. like right now.
It’ll be like a short radio show. You can listen while I record it. You can comment in the chat.
Go here:
Sober Belle’s live radio station link
hugs
me