i get up, and most days i have some kind of plan. I don't always DO the things on my plan, but i start off with one.
Yesterday i met someone who looked like me. she had plans. she had this amazing list of things to do and learn. she talked about her passions and her adventures and her event-attendance, one thing after another, always so much to learn, never enough time.
it looked exhausting.
I saw myself perhaps how my husband sees me (in fact he said these actual words to me last weekend: why do we have to plan lunch? - it was 11 a.m., we were in a store with good food, i said let's get something for lunch while we're here, he's like but i'm not even hungry, and i'm like you'll be hungry later, and he's like why can't we just go for a walk at 11 a.m. and not have it mean something).
so yesterday, when i met this woman, i thought - oh that's what it looks like.
trying to fill a hole with stuff.
now, don't get me wrong. it's light-years better than trying to fill that hole with booze. better to be curious and open and eager to learn. agreed.
but also, nothing wrong with sitting on the couch on a sunny day in my husband's pyjama bottoms with a gigantic hole in them, reading back issues of New York magazine, having no plan except to drink more decaf.
i'm going to experiment with that today. see how i do.
Question: what happens when you just sit. you watch the royal wedding, or you flip through magazines, or you stop forcefully achieving, even for an afternoon. what happens?