#dryJuly Day 2 – Nice to see you :)

just thought i’d open up this space where we can introduce ourselves. the goal for dryjuly is continuous days sober. you can say what day you’re on today, and later i’ll do another post and you can report in your continuous days so far.

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, what day you’re on, and WHY you’re doing #dryJuly

ok, i’ll start …

​new painting posted > www.artsober.com

#dryJuly Day 2 – Nice to see you :)

just thought i’d open up this space where we can introduce ourselves. the goal for dryjuly is continuous days sober. you can say what day you’re on today, and later i’ll do another post and you can report in your continuous days so far.

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, what day you’re on, and WHY you’re doing #dryJuly

ok, i’ll start …

Friday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to Lageeg!

Happy Day 50 to Janey!

Happy Day 50 to Hugh!

Happy Day 50 to Cardinal!

Happy Day 50 to Mary Louise!

Happy Day 50 to KeysKathy!

Happy Day 50 to SDBKatz!

Happy Day 50 to Weezie!

Happy Day 50 to flyfishingdude!

Happy Day 50 to timely!

Happy Day 50 to goofie roofie!

Happy Day 100 to A Free Willow!

Happy Day 100 to Coffeegirl!

Happy Day 100 to AMA!

Happy Day 100 to Lotus!

Happy Day 100 to SoberSeasideSally!

Happy Day 180 to lovinrunning!

Happy Day 180 to Dani!

Happy Day 180 to Serenity Now!

Happy Day 180 to Ana Maria!

Happy Day 180 to Unpuzzlingpatti!

Happy Day 180 to Wildflower!

Happy Day 180 to Emsyfae!

Happy Day 180 to Jenwithoutwine!

Happy Day 200 to hernoodlyness!

Happy Day 200 to Freedom!

Happy Day 365 to LD4ME!

Happy Day 365 to mlodius!

Happy Day 365 to Frog!

Happy Day 365 to Bug June!

Happy Day 365 to MiMoMa!

Happy Day 365 to Lars!

Happy Day 365 to Nan!

Happy Day 365 to Flyaway!

Happy Day 400 to Leila!

Happy Day 400 to Maggie Mo!

Happy Day 400 to lmichel!

Happy Day 500 to Newg!

Happy Day 500 to Leigh Ann!

Happy Day 500 to RossFSU!

Happy Day 600 to Gem64!

Happy Day 600 to Bruna!

Happy Day 600 to Princess Buttercup!

Happy Day 600 to SueW!

Happy Day 600 to Roadtosoberville!

Happy Day 600 to Lacie!

Happy Day 600 to KiKi71!

Happy Day 600 to Honey Bear!

Happy Day 600 to Resiliensea!

Happy Day 700 to Ruby!

Happy Day 700 to Holly!

Happy Day 700 to Reg!

Happy Day 700 to Bemmy Girl!

Happy Day 700 to BattleMatt!

Happy Day 700 to *Maverick!

Happy Day 700 to April!

Happy Day 800 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 800 to Reenie!

Happy Day 800 to Imara!

Happy Day 800 to Conn!

Happy Day 1000 to JP!

Happy Day 1000 to Thirsty Iris!

Happy Day 1000 to Gypsygirl!

Happy Day 1100 to Cal!

Happy Day 1100 to Gordon!

Happy Day 1100 to Unwinedgal!

Happy Day 1200 to cheaton!

Happy Day 1200 to TK!

Happy Day 1300 to Solstice Guy!

Happy Day 1300 to Summer Walking!

Happy Day 1300 to Turcotte!

Happy Day 1300 to Southern Magnolia!

Happy Day 1400 to Paris!

Happy Day 1400 to Shout444!

Happy Day 1400 to Midwestveggie!

Happy Day 1400 to Rah!

Happy Day 1400 to MoseMarie!

Happy Day 1400 to Janna Rich!

Happy Day 1400 to Jacqui!

Happy Day 1400 to Kelz!

Happy Day 1500 to Sarah72!

Happy Day 1500 to CassieB!

Happy Day 1500 to Roisin!

Happy Day 1500 to Shelby!

Happy Day 1600 to Julie Joy’s Dad!

Happy Day 1600 to Jessie!

Happy Day 1600 to Heike!

Happy Day 1600 to Isabel!

Happy Day 1600 to Daybird!

Happy Day 1600 to Connie!

Happy Day 1600 to Hank!

Happy Day 1700 to TheFun4!

Happy Day 1700 to Terence!

Happy Day 1700 to Clear Eyed Girl!

Happy Day 1700 to Hazeleyes!

Happy Day 1700 to Case Study Tim!

Happy Day 1700 to Sadie!

Happy Day 1700 to SignGurl!

Happy Day 1800 to Sharon!

Happy Day 1800 to LD!

Happy Day 1800 to Laurie!

Happy Day 2200 to me!

this is controversial (self-sabotage) [AUDIO]

​I’m going to come right out and say this: I don't believe in self-sabotageThere I said it. Yikes.

YOU don’t do these shitty things ‘to yourself’. You have a brain that is misfiring.

YOU don’t drink and drive, Wolfie does. Alcohol does that.

And you know what? You being here, listening to this, reading the emails, it means something. It means you are worth it. And you know it.

​​I am going to make this full audio available for 24 hours​ even if you are not a podcast subscriber. You'll want to hear this. Start now, just for a few minutes. ​​​

​Sober Podcast 255. ​Self-Sabotage

You can ​leave a comment below, anonymous is fine. Once you listen to the audio, ​you can tell me if you heard anything new. ​

Download SP255. Self-Sabotage

Sign up for the ​podcast membership
(1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)


If alcohol is an elevator that only goes down, you can get off and stay off. Find the Exit. It's there. Sober inspired art thanks to mr.belle, here

see available paintings > artsober.com

how to travel (audio)

How do you stay sober when you're dealing with family, extra people, chaos, lack of sleep, and travel.

The advice I have for sober travelling will apply to you whether you are travelling or not, because you always have to be creating a space where you’re safe to be sober. 

And you know what? You need a lot more alone time than you think, so build it in. More in the full audio that is going out today to podcast subscribers.

Here's a clip where you can listen to a bit of the audio.

extract from Sober Podcast 254. How to Travel (You need more alone time than you think)

You can leave a comment below, anonymous is fine. Tell me the part that seems true for your experience ... To download the entire audio, you can use the link below.

Download SP254. How to Travel

Sign up for the ​podcast membership
(1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)

Wednesday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to Wilder!

Happy Day 50 to Versa!

Happy Day 50 to Ina!

Happy Day 50 to Eureka!

Happy Day 50 to BJ!

Happy Day 50 to Suzabelle!

Happy Day 50 to JpJp!

Happy Day 50 to Jane Marie!

Happy Day 50 to Reenster!

Happy Day 50 to Carly!

Happy Day 100 to Sunshine!

Happy Day 100 to Twisty!

Happy Day 100 to Cellocat!

Happy Day 100 to SunshineStace!

Happy Day 100 to StayingAlive!

Happy Day 100 to KeyLes!

Happy Day 100 to C-J!

Happy Day 100 to Jacci2!

Happy Day 100 to Miche!

Happy Day 180 to Trishy!

Happy Day 180 to Freedom!

Happy Day 180 to LittleRed!

Happy Day 180 to MimiDonna!

Happy Day 180 to Greenyj1!

Happy Day 200 to LightningBug45!

Happy Day 200 to Fluffy Polite!

Happy Day 200 to Jaded!

Happy Day 365 to Dry Ace!

Happy Day 365 to Nan!

Happy Day 400 to LinZeeLou!

Happy Day 400 to BalanceBeam!

Happy Day 400 to BirdSetFree!

Happy Day 400 to Mia!

Happy Day 400 to Sobriety Unlocked!

Happy Day 500 to 35&changing!

Happy Day 500 to Sobersparkles!

Happy Day 500 to MrsWooly!

Happy Day 500 to Naturenancy!

Happy Day 500 to Kaycee!

Happy Day 600 to true.d.true!

Happy Day 600 to Becca1978!

Happy Day 600 to Blondie!

Happy Day 600 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 600 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 600 to Tiger2017!

Happy Day 700 to Froogy google!

Happy Day 700 to Unduped!

Happy Day 700 to Tsilver!

Happy Day 700 to vmd free!

Happy Day 700 to Lippy!

Happy Day 700 to Tierrazul!

Happy Day 800 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 800 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 900 to Franny!

Happy Day 900 to Husband #1!

Happy Day 900 to TJ!

Happy Day 900 to Binkles!

Happy Day 900 to Elis!

Happy Day 900 to Lydster!

Happy Day 900 to TrixeeK!

Happy Day 900 to Fern!

Happy Day 900 to Coco!

Happy Day 1000 to Tree!

Happy Day 1000 to Lucia!

Happy Day 1000 to Juliejean123!

Happy Day 1000 to Ami!

Happy Day 1100 to Merkai!

Happy Day 1100 to Heya Monster!

Happy Day 1100 to Shortermnoterm!

Happy Day 1100 to AnnieB!

Happy Day 1100 to Whitbell25!

Happy Day 1100 to Ginette!

Happy Day 1200 to Oz!

Happy Day 1200 to Julie-Joy’s Sister!

Happy Day 1200 to Faye858!

Happy Day 1200 to me-fixing-me!

Happy Day 1200 to mythreesons!

Happy Day 1200 to Honner!

Happy Day 1200 to Gingerade!

Happy Day 1300 to Maureen!

Happy Day 1300 to Library Girl!

Happy Day 1300 to Joannie!

Happy Day 1300 to Chace!

Happy Day 1400 to Petunia!

Happy Day 1400 to Dancing Rabbit!

Happy Day 1400 to Microlady!

Happy Day 1400 to AlexP!

Happy Day 1400 to Chefstarr!

Happy Day 1400 to Monique!

Happy Day 1400 to iphonebonnie!

Happy Day 1400 to Chachi!

Happy Day 1400 to nomorepinot!

Happy Day 1500 to Weenie!

Happy Day 1500 to 1111!

Happy Day 1500 to Manda!

Happy Day 1500 to Sober Lemon!

Happy Day 1500 to PP!

Happy Day 1500 to Foxie!

Happy Day 1500 to Battersea Park!

Happy Day 1500 to Welles!

Happy Day 1500 to Gra!

Happy Day 1500 to SusieQ!

Happy Day 1500 to IrishDee!

Happy Day 1600 to Emery!

Happy Day 1600 to Going2pieces!

Happy Day 1600 to Apprentice SoberP!

Happy Day 1600 to DeeN!

Happy Day 1600 to moore!

Happy Day 1600 to abwalsh!

Happy Day 1600 to Crispy (you are probably celebrating more than one thing right about now)!

Happy Day 1700 to Jilly Bean!

Happy Day 1700 to Mylene!

Happy Day 1800 to Durf11!

Happy Day 1900 to JM!

Happy Day 1900 to Digs!

It’s not because of summer

Yesterday i posted a clip from a recent podcast (SP249). Here is some of the transcript.

[2:15]

Every time you do something sober, you build resilience. You build a knowledge that you can get through it. You develop tools and supports, and you have a pattern of behaviour that gets you through things. So summer is not particularly difficult. It is not more difficult than winter. It is not more difficult than a snowstorm. It’s not more difficult than dealing with in-laws. It’s not more difficult than a sick kid.

Your head will tell you that it is, and your head will tell you that this is a unique experience that requires alcohol. But you can hear that, right? That’s wolfie. That’s not you.

Because it’s not true.

The people who tell me that summer is a trigger are the same people who tell me that a snowstorm is a trigger, that going to Egypt is a trigger, that going to the next town is a trigger, that driving downtown after supper is a trigger, that staying at home is a trigger.

That you have a brain that periodically thinks that drinking is a good idea, would be normal, but don’t get too hung up on the specifics of what your brain is saying is the reason.

It’s not summer.

It’s not because of summer.

the elevator shaft

email from pumpkin water (penpal #1805):

​“Ok start me over. I’m officially on day 1 again today … I had another drink last night … I didn’t finish it, but I did make the conscious choice to buy the pop, make the drink and then proceed to drink most of it. I slept terrible and I have a headache this morning. From part of a drink. This feels like an out of body experience because I was going along so well. So close to the 50 day mark even whereby I was looking forward to seeing my name on your blog celebration roundup. Well no celebration for me.

I’m trying to use your analogy of the elevator to understand what happened. So I got off the elevator and had been sober for 41 days, and was doing good on the floor I was at. Yes I had a few hard days, was sick, wanted to get back on the booze elevator here or there, but managed to stay on my floor and not get back on the elevator….

I need to face away from the elevator shaft. Not go back there. No matter who is on there and asks me to join them. No matter how much I miss it or think that just maybe I can get back in the elevator and hang out for a while taking the risk that it won’t drop. Cause it could drop. If I get back on again, it could drop a floor, maybe a few floors, or maybe drop right down to the bottom like a scary horror movie. I can’t take that risk. No I can’t.

I’m going to make this sober floor of mine beautiful. Yes it’s going to be work, but so worth it. I have a view out the windows. It’s a clear view. Not like the tiny cramped windowless box of the elevator. The elevator that only goes down.

Belle, your emails are like an intercom on my floor. I can reach out and talk to you for support and help to get this new floor of mine going. I’ll email you every day.”

Monday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

​Happy Day 50 to Alligin!

​Happy Day 50 to​ Ragdolls!

​Happy Day 50 to Peppercorn!

​Happy Day 50 to A Free Willow!

​Happy Day 50 to SoberNevertheless!

​Happy Day 50 to Pilates Queenie!

​Happy Day 50 to Coffeegirl!

​Happy Day 50 to SoberJourneyer444!

​Happy Day 50 to​ AMA!

​Happy Day 50 to​ Sky gal!

​Happy Day 50 to​ Dragonflytime!

​Happy Day 50 to​ Lotus!

​Happy Day 50 to​ Max1165!

Happy Day 100 to Sparky!

Happy Day 100 to Simon’s Mom!

Happy Day 180 to Jennifer 2.0!

Happy Day 180 to Fluffy Polite!

Happy Day 180 to Jaded!

Happy Day 200 to MindfulMe!

Happy Day 200 to Ishmael!

Happy Day 200 to ​Lex!

Happy Day 300 to Ket!

​Happy Day 365 to Leila!

​Happy Day 365 to Maggo Mo!

​Happy Day 365 to lmichel!

​Happy Day 365 to Linzeelou!

Happy Day 400 to Auntiemame!

​Happy Day 500 to Blou!

​Happy Day 500 to RetiringPartyGirl!

​Happy Day 500 to Peewit!

​Happy Day 500 to Lavender! 

​Happy Day 500 to Gina!

​Happy Day 500 to Helen!

​Happy Day 500 to Gomez!

​Happy Day 500 to Mummabear!

Happy Day 600 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 600 to Boozy Bett!

Happy Day 600 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 600 to Shannon A!

Happy Day 600 to Sisty!

Happy Day 600 to Sohocat!

Happy Day 600 to Ashley!

Happy Day 600 to Grace514!

Happy Day 600 toI ndy!

Happy Day 600 to Pwhims!

Happy Day 600 to Rachel E!

Happy Day 700 to Nomobsing!

Happy Day 700 to Hollykate!

Happy Day 800 to Patten!

Happy Day 800 to KT Web!

​Happy Day 900 to ShellMN!

​Happy Day 900 to Suzie Jay!

​Happy Day 900 to SarahBee!

​Happy Day 900 to NSRunner!

​Happy Day 900 to Case Study Michelle!

Happy Day 1000 to Sooz!

Happy Day 1000 to EMJ001!

Happy Day 1000 to Lavenderzone!

​Happy Day 1100 to Lilac!

​Happy Day 1100 to ElizabethDC!

​Happy Day 1100 to Silver Birch!

​Happy Day 1100 to Seekingpeace!

​Happy Day 1100 to Yoda!

​Happy Day 1100 to VTGirl!

​Happy Day 1100 to ​MJP!

​Happy Day 1200 to SophieSomething!

​Happy Day 1200 to Jock!

​Happy Day 1200 to Sea Turtle!

​Happy Day 1200 to Miss M!

Happy Day 1300 to Junebug!

Happy Day 1300 to Frenchie!

Happy Day 1300 to Gabbygirl37!

Happy Day 1300 to TheMadnessStopsNow!

​Happy Day 1400 to Fleur!

​Happy Day 1400 to Chatsworth!

​Happy Day 1400 to Cricket!

​Happy Day 1400 to Shar!

​Happy Day 1400 to Kenney!

Happy Day 1500 to GW!

Happy Day 1500 to JustHadToHaveIt!

Happy Day 1500 to​ Apprentice Annie!

Happy Day 1500 to ParisienneKnitter!

Happy Day 1500 to Run Dontwine!

​Happy Day 1600 to Kimf!

​Happy Day 1600 to Rose!

​Happy Day 1600 to Santa Cruz!

​Happy Day 1600 to Telling TheWords!

​Happy Day 1600 to Sherri!

​Happy Day 1600 to Lurking with Intent!

​Happy Day 1700 to Lucy!

​Happy Day 1700 to Catherine Gray!

​Happy Day 1700 to DianeLouise!

Happy Day 1800 to Kristi Coulter!

Happy Day 1800 to Sarita!

Happy Day 1800 to Ingrid!

​Happy Day 1900 to Carrie!

must learn something every day

​i get up, and most days i have some kind of plan. ​I don't always DO the things on my plan, but i start off with one.​

  • ​today i want to learn ... [insert appropriate food thing here]
  • ​today i want to go to ... [insert appropriate food-related store here]
  • ​today i want to run to ... [insert appropriate distance to help offset the calories of above food things here]

​​Yesterday i met someone who looked like me. she had plans. she had this amazing list of things to do and learn. she talked about her passions and her adventures and her event-attendance, one thing after another, always so much to learn, never enough time.​

it looked exhausting.

​I saw myself perhaps how my husband sees me (in fact he said these actual words to me last weekend: why do we have to plan lunch? - it was 11 a.m., we were in a store with good food, i said let's get something for lunch while we're here, he's like but i'm not even hungry, and i'm like you'll be hungry later, and he's like why can't we just go for a walk at 11 a.m. and not have it mean something).

​harrumph.

so yesterday, when i met this woman, i thought - oh that's what it looks like.

trying to fill a hole with stuff.

now, don't get me wrong. it's light-years better than trying to fill that hole with booze. better to be curious and open and eager to learn. agreed.

but also, nothing wrong with sitting on the couch on a sunny day in my husband's pyjama bottoms with a gigantic hole in them, ​reading back issues of New York magazine, ​having no plan except to drink more decaf.

i'm going to experiment with that today. see how i do.


Question: what happens when you just sit. you watch the royal wedding, or you flip through magazines, or you stop forcefully achieving, even for an afternoon. what happens?


Are you looking for longer sober podcasts?

Sign up for the ​podcast membership
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