from my inbox:

Inky: “Belle, please consider coming up with a sober treaterator that consists of a widgit on your website – you click the link and get an idea for a sober treat!

Sober treat suggestions include bubble bath, earl grey tea and shortbread cookies (my fave), nice smelling hand lotion, amazing FU Wolfie necklace, dark chocolate, a pedicure, a delish smelling candle etc.

I say this as an ace treat giver/accepter. I have taken up choc chip cookie baking and comfy sock purchasing with gusto, but sometimes I wouldn’t mind ideas:) for example, I listened to your sober treat podcast, all in a grumpy mood cause work and I agreed at the end of your podcast that I needed a treat. But earl grey and shortbread wasn’t cutting it, neither were some of my other go-tos. For that purpose, a handy-dandy sober treaterator would be perfect!! Sort of like when you couldn’t find the “right” treat so u forced yourself to get ice cream.

I also think the more specific the better. I like the idea of trying new things and folks can always just get chocolate if “sea salted dark chocolate” doesn’t cut it:). It sounds like work, but if your sober team gets in on the act and sends you reams and reams of sober treat ideas, then hopefully we can help:)

Sober treaterator, I need you now! Actually, I think earl grey may do the trick.”


So here’s your job. Post in the comments below your ideas for creative sober treats.  Food or not-food. Something you can link to being sober, where you can get the treat and say to yourself “this is my treat for being sober.”


there was an elevator.
it was going down.
you got off.



link here >



I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Butter in the pan with my scrambled eggs and red peppers. Clean flannel sheets on the bed as the nights get colder. Giving myself a hand massage with good hand cream or getting one from my husband. Momenti by Pellegrino. Sunny Delight (makes me feel like a kid). Dark chocolate with hazelnuts. New boots. Baths. Baths. Baths.

  • “Having sober support means I never have to _go it alone_______________ .”
    Sober Treats: fancy coffee, listen to a favorite album, watch a favorite movie, go to an exotic restaurant where youve never tasted the food. Purchase the latest sample library (I’m a musician and composer), that would be a special treat. Take the afternoon off, take a day off (especially in the Spring), take a hot shower and go to bed early.

  • Wrap yourself in a brand new cozy blanket with a brand new book and a lemon ginger tea by your side. Let nobody bother you for an hour. Perfect!

  • Plant a herb plant … it’s very satisfying and doesn’t take much time … not a whole garden at once because that sounds like work and wolfie will say ugh you can’t do that but a small thyme/basil/mint plant from the grocery or garden store .. then every time you cut a bit for a salad or tea or what not it’s another reminder of how awesome it is to be living this life… the only one we have.

  • A book . . . I love to read. I joined a bookclub that supports a local indy bookstore (they now have zoom meetings). It’s good for me to interact with new people and reading a book with others keeps me focused, sharper. I like the idea of crocheting.

  • When I stopped having alcohol. I started to pay myself $15 dollars every two days for not drinking. I gave my daughter some money and then one day I bought a beautiful painting for a wall space. It is in the room where I do my morning readings and meditation. I love it. I now have almost 300 dollars saved again. So I have been alcohol free for 120 days. So 15 X60 = 900. This works for me.

  • A log fire, or scented candles when you pull the curtains on a gloomy afternoon.
    Tea, or coffee, made just so. Plush blankets and comfy PJ’s. Freshly laundered bedding. A shoulder massage from someone you love. Snuggling with your pet. A badass workout, followed by a shower, and homemade moisturizer with essential oils. Watching a comedy instead of the news. Walking barefoot on dewy grass. Craft supplies. Sending really beautiful birthday cards. Paying for the person behind you at a toll gate.
    Finding out the myriad of subtle things that lift you, so that you don’t have to bludgeon your brains out with poison.🙂

    • I like the expression “so that you don’t have to bludgeon yiur brains out with poison” will think of this every time I’m tempted! Thank you! (I’m only on day 5 on dry January!) (once again) I’ve got my book out again Tired of Thinking about drinking ! It’s really inspirational! Thanks Belle xx

  • I taught myself how to crochet during the shelter in place and now whenever I finish a project or pass a yarn store I look for some gorgeous new wool to make something new. Maybe an earned treat could be new yarn or hooks or needles or something? I’ve oddly become pretty crafty and it also helps to keep me occupied when my mind turns to drinking.

  • Art supplies. Take some pics of something beautiful, print, and frame. A new journal. A little gift for your favorite person and send it by mail or secret it into their backpack or car.

  • Fancy cupcakes from Love at First Bite around the corner. Fresh flowers to place all around the house. Laying out in the sun with ice tea and radio playing. Light a fire and watch the flames with hot chocolate and my love.

  • Weekly pedicures, fancy seltzer, twizzlers, a foot massage (convince the hubs to do it), fresh flowers, or a monthly massage.

  • Cucumber ice cream from my local spot (yes, it is delicious), homemade fruit shrubs (drinking vinegars) mixed with seltzer, a new addition to my garden (recent purchases: lupines, tomato and pepper plants). Once things open up, I look forward to getting a pedicure and a facial.

  • Monthly massage, delicious and amazing (no expenses spared) juices with fizzy water, a weekly blow dry 😁, allowing myself to lie in on weekends and read the paper or watch tv (gasp) in bed!

  • Fresh flowers always cheer me up snd last four days! We have foot spas here and for $25, a trained reflexologist rubs my feet! Sometimes, I wander around the pet shop (instead of dashing right out post purchase). I look at the colorful fish and visit with the parakeets. Ice cream is always great, too! Earrings are a good treat. Or download a new song from I-tunes for $1.29. So many wonderful treats!👏

  • I buy a plant every two weeks that I plant in the garden (flowers, vines, etc) so that when they grow back next year, I can remember when and why I bought them. Also, Monty Bojangles truffles, flavoured coffee syrups, Masala Chai tea in old authentic tea glasses I bought online for a fiver, (I had to replace all of my drinking glasses as they were Guinness pint glasses) a subscription to Netflix for a movie and homemade pizza night twice a month, and an audio book once a month.

  • Sober treats –
    A small crystal to pop in your pocket or wear – amethyst, rose quartz?
    Any item that’s just pretty , I bought a glass bowl for 3.99 just because it sparkled and had a beautiful gold design . I love it !
    A small bottle of essential oil , lavender is a great soother and a really powerful aid to sleep , very relaxing dropped on your pillow at night or a few drops on your pjs . Or in a oil burner to fill your room .Different oils different healing properties.
    Treat your self to a facial – see if there any offers in Salons near you .
    A massage
    Book a horse ride
    New fluffy slippers
    New ear rings
    A new lip stick
    A yoga session
    Fruit smoothe
    New under ware

  • I’ve promised myself an aromatherapy massage from a nearby beauty salon when I get to 30 days (today is day 7) I bought myself a pair of ear-rings yesterday to celebrate 1 week (a day short I know but I saw them in a shop window)

  • A neck/shoulder or head massage. Just 15 minutes would do. I love how head massages just melt away the stress of the day.

  • I lovely hair treatment to make it bouncy and lovely while I lie in the bath and read a new book. Love this list, bookmarking it. Thank you xx

  • Oh goody! Now I can tell someone–you being perfect—this idea I had to do a Sober Advent Calendar. It gives you a treat just by giving you something to open every day, and it gives ideas for things you probably wouldn’t do ordinarily. Helps shake things up and keep things unpredictable in a fun way (rather than the unpredictable way of the early days of not drinking). It’s a Try Something Different calendar a la Belle. It could be little numbered scrolls wrapped with ribbons that you undo every morning. Or an Advent calendar, with messages inside each window. It could be a stripey vaguely Christmas tree-ish Advent Calendar, a la Mr. Belle. Or it could be a Sober Different Calendar and use it all year round. Wouldn’t this be reinvigorating the childhood excitement that builds up to Christmas morning? Ideas I had so far to put in the calendar:
    – first day: note or letter or poem to your future self: why you’re doing this lovely caring change
    – last day: letter to past self. Forgiveness, things learned
    – in between:
    – take an early morning photo of a not hungover environment (post it?)
    – remember and list your favorite physical activities from when you were a child (climbing trees, jumping rope, swinging) and try one out
    – look up a mocktail and try it (give ideas for where to find them or actual recipes)
    – color in a fancy sober letter of the alphabet of your choice (pick from website?), like those involved adult coloring books that might feel meditative and give your hands something to do
    – respond to a post for someone who is struggling with something that is helping you
    – write a description of how you feel waking up in the morning and what your outlook is. Put this description where you can see it when you feel wobbly at the other end of the day
    – at home, on your break from work, somewhere, observe a child
    – pick a mantra and say it all day long. Put it in your pocket. Post it on your fridge. (Stay here. Sortie the elevator. This too shall pass. Green grow the rushes-oh…)
    – take a sober selfie
    – go to a bookstore. Peruse. Potentially buy. Or, do same in library, potentially borrow.
    – go to a cafe. Sit, observe, listen. Do not stare at your phone. Sip something heavenly.
    – obtain or observe a flower or plant; touch it gently, smell it, really look at it. (If it’s dying, maybe water it.)
    – animal day: Watch some. Listen to them. Cat bathing in a patch of sun; dog rolling in the grass; squirrels chattering on branches; birds.
    – look up the word “sober” in the dictionary and see its meanings and origins. Then learn the word “sober” in three other languages.
    – write a cheer or a haiku. Repeat throughout the day.
    – make a sober journey map that has metaphors for the problem spots for you (bumps in the road, pot holes, sink holes, swamps). Create navigations around each problem spot on your map. Kind of like Candyland
    – walk around indoors in sunglasses, until seeing out of them is really annoying. Or turn down the lights to the point where it’s hard to see. Take off the glasses or turn on the lights.
    – do a sober crossword (these can be created for free at a sober crossword website; you feed in the words and definitions and the program makes a crossword).
    – play with a ball. Any ball. The one with tiddly winks or a soccer ball or a baby jingly ball. Roll it, throw it, kick it, make a basket.
    – lie on your stomach on the floor in your favorite room. Look at the room from this vantage point (what’s under the furniture?). Now, roll over onto your back and look at the room from this vantage point. How does it look from this perspective?

    • That’s great – I also bought some new tea cups around that time and a beautiful new teapot! day 44 today 🙂

  • Keep a small carton of soya cream for coffee. I never have cream with coffees so this feels luxurious. I make a pot and take some time to enjoy it.

  • I went to an apple orchard today and bought myself a hot apple cider donut coated in cinnamon sugar AND a glass of freshly made (non-alcoholic) apple juice. In the past I was always saving such calories for wine time. No more!

  • Today I went to the Adirondack Museum there was a Mohak woman making making beaded necklaces and since it’s Day 12 I bought one!