sober jumpstart

If you have taken the sober jumpstart class and had me as your penpal, can you share a comment here to help people understand how the class might help them. you can share a bit about why you took the class, and what parts you found most useful. happy you do the jumpstart class? post a comment here.

hugs, me

 

Friday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 50 to SarahJune31!

Happy Day 50 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 50 to Nell!

Happy Day 50 to Jabbers!

Happy Day 50 to Adriane C!

Happy Day 50 to Freedom!

Happy Day 50 to Lerawk!

Happy Day 50 to anjoma8801!

Happy Day 50 to Kristy!

Happy Day 50 to Lex!

Happy Day 50 to LaLaLa!

Happy Day 50 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 50 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 50 to Shannon A!

Happy Day 50 to Sisty!

Happy Day 50 to My Inside Job!

Happy Day 50 to Emsie!

Happy Day 50 to Karlatta!

Happy Day 50 to SohoCat!

Happy Day 50 to Ashley!

Happy Day 50 to Datagrrl!

Happy Day 50 to Kassie!

Happy Day 50 to Grade514!

Happy Day 50 to Soprano!

Happy Day 50 to Indy!

Happy Day 50 to PWhims!

Happy Day 50 to Suzanne Irene!

Happy Day 50 to Kimpossible!

Happy Day 50 to Rachele!

Happy Day 50 to RoseStar!

Happy Day 50 to SoberSarah!

Happy Day 50 to FlightPlan!

Happy Day 50 to Tweet!

Happy Day 50 to Loz!

Happy Day 50 to Pink!

Happy Day 100 to Wren1450!

Happy Day 100 to Julianne!

Happy Day 100 to Gene!

Happy Day 100 to CJback!

Happy Day 100 to Lola4126!

Happy Day 100 to Beth2016!

Happy Day 100 to TJS!

Happy Day 100 to Clear Eyes Full Soul!

Happy Day 100 to Garcia!

Happy Day 100 to RubyHarper!

Happy Day 100 to Poppy!

Happy Day 100 to Topo Chico!

Happy Day 100 to Ruby!

Happy Day 100 to Sahara!

Happy Day 100 to Pearl!

Happy Day 100 to Hollm!

Happy Day 100 to Brett!

Happy Day 100 to Di!

Happy Day 100 to Bemmy girl!

Happy Day 100 to Arya!

Happy Day 100 to BattleMatt!

Happy Day 100 to Maverick!

Happy Day 180 to Airbear!

Happy Day 180 to Edi!

Happy Day 180 to Kerry!

Happy Day 180 to JustJen!

Happy Day 180 to Rivers!

Happy Day 200 to Lelia!

Happy Day 200 to CindyB!

Happy Day 200 to Cozzarella!

Happy Day 200 to Julieanne!

Happy Day 200 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 200 to Jessee!

Happy Day 200 to Reenie!

Happy Day 200 to SW3Girl!

Happy Day 200 to Imara!

Happy Day 200 to Indigo50!

Happy Day 200 to Tekara!

Happy Day 200 to Oriole!

Happy Day 300 to MsM!

Happy Day 300 to Auds!

Happy Day 300 to KaffyB!

Happy Day 300 to Debbie!

Happy Day 300 to KLC!

Happy Day 300 to Country Pat!

Happy Day 300 to Lanza!

Happy Day 300 to Boo!

Happy Day 300 to Chell!

Happy Day 300 to Joziegurrl!

Happy Day 365 to SarahBee!

Happy Day 365 to NSRunner!

Happy Day 365 to Mamafergs!

Happy Day 365 to Case Study Michelle!

Happy Day 365 to AngieM!

Happy Day 365 to Truleah!

Happy Day 365 to Phoenix!

Happy Day 365 to Emma_J!

Happy Day 365 to Crystal Light!

Happy Day 400 to StonewallPDS!

Happy Day 400 to Ashley!

Happy Day 400 to Hughie!

Happy Day 400 to JP!

Happy Day 400 to Thirsty Iris!

Happy Day 400 to Gypsygirl!

Happy Day 500 to Cal!

Happy Day 500 to Gordon!

Happy Day 600 to Grateful Girl!

Happy Day 600 to Rosa!

Happy Day 600 to Jenuhful!

Happy Day 600 to Cheaton!

Monty!Happy Day 600 to TK!

Happy Day 600 to DW!

Happy Day 600 to Mich!

Happy Day 600 to Celene!

Happy Day 700 to Sean!

Happy Day 700 to Unconfirmed Bachelorette!

Happy Day 700 to FunCar13!

Happy Day 700 to Indian Lake!

Happy Day 700 to Mahatma JoJo!

Happy Day 700 to NeeNee!

Happy Day 700 to Sareet!

Happy Day 700 to Alescha!

Happy Day 700 to MelP!

Happy Day 700 to Solstice Guy!

Happy Day 700 to Ase!

Happy Day 700 to Summer Walking!

Happy Day 700 to Turcotte!

Happy Day 700 to Brooke!

Happy Day 700 to Ariel Rose!

Happy Day 800 to AngelaRenai!

Happy Day 800 to Canadian Girl!

Happy Day 800 to Cxx!

Happy Day 800 to Lynsey!

Happy Day 800 to GG!

Happy Day 800 to Festie!

Happy Day 800 to Graceb!

Happy Day 800 to Mak!

Happy Day 800 to Paris!

Happy Day 800 to Shout444!

Happy Day 800 to Midwestveggie!

Happy Day 800 to Rah!

Happy Day 800 to Cryssi!

Happy Day 800 to RoseMarie!

Happy Day 800 to Janna!

Happy Day 900 to Haggismcbaggis!

Happy Day 900 to Vanessa!

Happy Day 900 to Sharlotte!

Happy Day 900 to Mizgabz!

Happy Day 900 to Sanfransober!

Happy Day 900 to Sarah72!

Happy Day 900 to Aaron!

Happy Day 900 to Jon!

Happy Day 900 to CassieB!

Happy Day 900 to Shelby!

Happy Day 1000 to OtherJosh!

Happy Day 1000 to RunnerMom!

Happy Day 1000 to JLynn!

Happy Day 1000 to Fernie Sobertina!

Happy Day 1000 to Julie-Joy’s Dad!

Happy Day 1000 to Jessi!

Happy Day 1000 to Heike!

Happy Day 1000 to Daybird!

Happy Day 1000 to Allison!

Happy Day 1000 to LolaB!

Happy Day 1000 to Connie!

Happy Day 1000 to Fich!

Happy Day 1100 to Janet!

Happy Day 1100 to Beach_Gurl!

Happy Day 1100 to Terry!

Happy Day 1100 to Denise!

Happy Day 1100 to TheFun4!

Happy Day 1100 to Terence!

Happy Day 1100 to Clear Eyed Girl!

Happy Day 1100 to Hazeleyes!

Happy Day 1100 to Case Study Tim!

Happy Day 1100 to Baby Girl Butterfly!

Happy Day 1100 to Primrose!

Happy Day 1100 to Sadie!

Happy Day 1100 to SignGurl!

Happy Day 1100 to Jeannie Yogini!

Happy Day 1200 to Jenisthesoberist!

Happy Day 1200 to Pam!

Happy Day 1200 to JennyGardenGirl!

Happy Day 1200 to Sharon!

Happy Day 1200 to LD!

Happy Day 1200 to Laurie!

Happy Day 1300 to Original Beth!

Happy Day 1300 to Leah!

Happy Day 1400 to Erica!

Happy Day 1400 to Jen!

Happy Day 1400 to Debra!

Happy Day 1616 to me!

 

… as seen in Good Housekeeping magazine

Did having a sober penpal help Amy to be sober?
She told her story to Good Housekeeping Magazine …
goodhousekeeping

haha. OK, to be fair, this happened a couple of years ago, back when i had ONE sober penpal and her name was Amy and she was interviewed by Good Housekeeping and she told her sober story which included the fact that i was her sober penpal. fast forward 3ish years and i’ve just welcomed sober penpals #2523 (say hi to Eleutheria).

but once upon a time, there was Amy. she emailed and asked questions on her day 6. and we emailed back and forth. and then someone else joined, and then another. and now we’re here.

want to learn more about Amy’s story? you can see TOTAD mentioned in Good Housekeeping here. and then also go and check out Amy’s amazing writing on her blog: http://sober-bia.blogspot.com

quote from the Good Housekeeping article:

Amy: Right then, I knew I had to quit. I thought, If I keep doing this, in 10 years they’ll feel ashamed to be my children. I stopped cold. I told Jonathan I was quitting and needed his help. He supported me 100%. “Whatever you need to do, we’ll do,” he said. But I didn’t know what I needed to do. I Googled “How to quit drinking” and came across one blog after another. Then I found one — called Tired of Thinking About Drinking, by a blogger who went by Belle — that really hit home. I e-mailed Belle; she wrote back and said to contact her whenever I needed to. I began writing to her every day. I still do. It was crucial to have someone who could share my “This is hard! This sucks! What do I do?” struggles. … keep reading on Good Housekeeping website

[update: Amy is on day 1447 today]

treats don’t work for me

recently sent this out as a daily micro-email; i’m going to post it here on the blog and add in some of the many emails i’ve received in response. 

email from good:

“i’m totally in the ‘treats don’t work for me’ camp. I eat what I want, when I want, within of course healthy parameters that – if i break them (TWO pieces of cheesecake!) – it doesn’t feel like a treat, it induces shame.

I buy what i want, when I want. Sometimes i have tried to convince myself that an expensive piece of jewelry or pair of jeans I’ve been eyeing or something similar will be a reminder piece to stay sober. But I never can “wait 30 days” to put it on.

I don’t have time for a lot of physical treats. I am craving a good 5-mile hike in the woods right now and it’s been a couple weeks and it hasn’t happened. I have two young kids and my husband and I are to the brim with shared responsibilities.

I cringe when I hear people say “make the time” and “get your partner to help!” – my husband cannot magically get his meetings cancelled to get home early so I can take off. I cannot walk out on my kids who are sitting at the table waiting for dinner. I cannot forget to get the straws or pictures or clothes together for school for the next day or my kid will feel left out and it will be my fault, something I can’t live with. When I’m getting dinner together, husband is busy giving them a bath and has to call his cousin in the hospital.  Later I have to clean or shop for guests or a party we’re having. This is the kind of every day stuff that has to get done. Now. Make time my A%$.  I’m lucky to get a shower in every other day (don’t worry I work from home) and I prioritize exercise, even if it’s whatever I can do quickly and not my favorite kind) over things like bubble baths. If I get a chance to go out for a couple hours and hike, or happen by a cute coffee shop and have a chance to stop, or even get an hour to read at the end of a long day between 10 and 11pm, I will take it, whether I ‘deserve’ it, have X days sober, just got through a tough craving, or not. And honestly, if I feel good enough about however many days of sobriety to deserve a treat, just feeling deserving, that’s treat enough.”


from me: do you agree with Good about the treats thing? i’ve done a lot of writing about this and recorded audios, and talked about retraining your brain … but i wonder if you agree with Good that, no matter what i suggest, it’s all ‘airy-fairy’ wishful thinking …

and if you disagree with Good (or you used to think how she did and now you don’t), you can tell me about that too. I’ll share some ideas in a future email.

Wednesday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Calypso!

Happy Day 50 to Lavender!

Happy Day 50 to Allie!

Happy Day 50 to Bunnie!

Happy Day 50 to Hellacious!

Happy Day 50 to Mamahope!

Happy Day 50 to Laurel!

Happy Day 50 to Liz!

Happy Day 50 to Sanna!

Happy Day 50 to Girl Named Sam!

Happy Day 50 to Shelley!

Happy Day 50 to SueW!

Happy Day 50 to Jeans!

Happy Day 50 to Carly!

Happy Day 50 to CCC!

Happy Day 100 to Molly Jones!

Happy Day 100 to April!

Happy Day 100 to Jaded!

Happy Day 100 to terbear!

Happy Day 100 to RachelB!

Happy Day 100 to Froggy Google!

Happy Day 100 to AustinHappy!

Happy Day 100 to Macbender1!

Happy Day 100 to frupa63!

Happy Day 100 to latebloomer!

Happy Day 100 to TSilver!

Happy Day 100 to VMD Free!

Happy Day 180 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 180 to SW3Girl!

Happy Day 180 to Indigo50!

Happy Day 180 to Reenie!

Happy Day 180 to Imara!

Happy Day 180 to Tekara!

Happy Day 180 to Oriole!

Happy Day 200 to Conn!

Happy Day 200 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 200 to Purple Robin!

Happy Day 200 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 200 to Toga!

Happy Day 300 to DB!

Happy Day 300 to Franny!

Happy Day 300 to Husband #1!

Happy Day 300 to WildMustang68!

Happy Day 300 to TJ!

Happy Day 300 to SoberInMtl!

Happy Day 300 to ScrubJay!

Happy Day 300 to do*it*anyway!

Happy Day 300 to lydster!

Happy Day 300 to TrixeeK!

Happy Day 365 to ChellyBelly!

Happy Day 365 to KAB!

Happy Day 365 to StonewallPDS!

Happy Day 365 to Ashley!

Happy Day 365 to Hughie!

Happy Day 400 to Tree!

Happy Day 400 to Lucia!

Happy Day 400 to Moon Alley!

Happy Day 500 to unwindegal!

Happy Day 500 to Q’s Mom!

Happy Day 500 to Kai!

Happy Day 500 to Meraki!

Happy Day 500 to Greenbean!

Happy Day 500 to Heya Monster!

Happy Day 500 to Shorttermnoterm!

Happy Day 600 to Hollers!

Happy Day 600 to Oz!

Happy Day 700 to Southern Magnolia 703!

Happy Day 700 to Rock2015!

Happy Day 700 to Minnieme!

Happy Day 800 to Jacqui!

Happy Day 800 to Petunia!

Happy Day 800 to Dancing Rabbit!

Happy Day 800 to Microlady!

Happy Day 800 to AlexP!

Happy Day 800 to ChefStarr!

Happy Day 800 to Monique!

Happy Day 900 to Weenie!

Happy Day 900 to Via51214!

Happy Day 900 to 1111!

Happy Day 900 to Manda!

Happy Day 900 to Sober Lemon!

Happy Day 900 to PP!

Happy Day 1000 to Hank!

Happy Day 1000 to Aschae!

Happy Day 1000 to Emery!

Happy Day 1000 to Going2pieces!

Happy Day 1000 to Soberp82!

Happy Day 1000 to Blake!

Happy Day 1100 to Jilly Bean!

Happy Day 1100 to Kirst!

Happy Day 1200 to Beckie!

Happy Day 1300 to JM!

Happy Day 1400 to Amy!

Happy Day 1600 to thirteenpointone!

 

Monday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Sings!

Happy Day 50 to AmandaJ!

Happy Day 50 to Mrs. T!

Happy Day 50 to SDBKatz!

Happy Day 50 to Guinea Pig!

Happy Day 50 to Chia!

Happy Day 50 to Wren1450!

Happy Day 50 to Julianne!

Happy Day 50 to Gene!

Happy Day 50 to cjback!

Happy Day 50 to Lola4126!

Happy Day 50 to Beth2016!

Happy Day 50 to Fay!

Happy Day 50 to TJS!

Happy Day 50 to Garcia!

Happy Day 50 to Poppy!

Happy Day 50 to topo chico!

Happy Day 50 to Ruby!

Happy Day 50 to Sahara!

Happy Day 50 to Pearl!

Happy Day 50 to ceemac!

Happy Day 50 to Hollm!

Happy Day 50 to Brett!

Happy Day 100 to Lua!

Happy Day 100 to Susanmarie!

Happy Day 100 to MG7!

Happy Day 100 to Peaceable J!

Happy Day 100 to TT!

Happy Day 100 to Tierrazul!

Happy Day 100 to BG!

Happy Day 100 to Mia!

Happy Day 100 to Tewks!

Happy Day 100 to Sabrina!

Happy Day 100 to Waking Up Again!

Happy Day 100 to Francis!

Happy Day 100 to Bladerboy!

Happy Day 100 to Buttercup244!

Happy Day 100 to Suzannefran!

Happy Day 100 to AlcoholFreeC!

Happy Day 100 to Imba!

Happy Day 100 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 100 to Purple Robin!

Happy Day 100 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 100 to Toga!

Happy Day 180 to Conn!

Happy Day 180 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 180 to Purple Robin!

Happy Day 180 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 180 to Toga!

Happy Day 200 to 2BLimber!

Happy Day 200 to Patten!

Happy Day 200 to KT Web!

Happy Day 200 to SoberSparkles!

Happy Day 200 to Bridget!

Happy Day 200 to Melissa Rose!

Happy Day 200 to Mastiffmom!

Happy Day 200 to waggintail!

Happy Day 300 to Troxler!

Happy Day 300 to Fern!

Happy Day 300 to Coco!

Happy Day 300 to NLW!

Happy Day 300 to ShellMN!

Happy Day 300 to NSRunner!

Happy Day 300 to MichelleS!

Happy Day 365 to JP!

Happy Day 365 to Thirsty Iris!

Happy Day 365 to Gypsygirl!

Happy Day 365 to Tree!

Happy Day 400 to Juliejean123!

Happy Day 400 to RossFSU!

Happy Day 400 to Ami!

Happy Day 400 to Sooz!

Happy Day 400 to EMJ001!

Happy Day 400 to Lavenderzone!

Happy Day 400 to TickleMeShelmo!

Happy Day 500 to Liberte!

Happy Day 500 to AnnieB!

Happy Day 500 to Youngernow!

Happy Day 500 to AnnaD!

Happy Day 500 to Whitbell25!

Happy Day 500 to Beck!

Happy Day 500 to Ginette!

Happy Day 500 to Lila!

Happy Day 500 to ElizabethDC!

Happy Day 500 to Hazelx!

Happy Day 500 to Mil!

Happy Day 500 to seekingpeace!

Happy Day 500 to yoda!

Happy Day 500 to VTgirl!

Happy Day 600 to Julie-Joy’s Sister!

Happy Day 600 to AmandaPanda!

Happy Day 600 to Ms. Red!

Happy Day 600 to Fay868!

Happy Day 600 to Me-fixing-me!

Happy Day 600 to Lisa1199!

Happy Day 600 to Mythreesons!

Happy Day 600 to SoberBuddy!

Happy Day 600 to Honner!

Happy Day 600 to gingerade!

Happy Day 600 to SophieSomething!

Happy Day 600 to Rache B!

Happy Day 600 to Yogayamagirl!

Happy Day 600 to Jock!

Happy Day 600 to Sea Turtle!

Happy Day 600 to Ina!

Happy Day 700 to Library Girl!

Happy Day 700 to Joannie!

Happy Day 700 to Chace!

Happy Day 700 to Nowine59!

Happy Day 700 to Marbear!

Happy Day 700 to Junebug!

Happy Day 700 to Frenchie!

Happy Day 800 to iphonebonnie!

Happy Day 800 to Chachi!

Happy Day 800 to nomorepinot!

Happy Day 800 to fleur!

Happy Day 800 to Chatsworth!

Happy Day 800 to Cricket!

Happy Day 800 to Shar!

Happy Day 900 to Foxie!

Happy Day 900 to Renee!

Happy Day 900 to Batersea Park!

Happy Day 900 to Welles!

Happy Day 900 to K!

Happy Day 900 to Gra!

Happy Day 900 to SusieA!

Happy Day 900 to IrishDee!

Happy Day 900 to GW!

Happy Day 900 to JustHadToHaveIt!

Happy Day 900 to Darla!

Happy Day 900 to AM!

Happy Day 900 to ParisienneKnitter!

Happy Day 900 to Run Dontwine!

Happy Day 900 to IrishGirl!

Happy Day 1000 to DeeN!

Happy Day 1000 to Amos!

Happy Day 1000 to FitFatFood!

Happy Day 1000 to Heather!

Happy Day 1000 to Moore!

Happy Day 1000 to abwalsh!

Happy Day 1000 to Crispy!

Happy Day 1000 to Kimf!

Happy Day 1000 to Jacques!

Happy Day 1000 to Rose!

Happy Day 1000 to Santa Cruz!

Happy Day 1000 to Phoebe!

Happy Day 1000 to Doll Face!

Happy Day 1000 to Telling the Words!

Happy Day 1000 to Sherri!

Happy Day 1000 to Lurking with Intent!

Happy Day 1000 to Carole!

Happy Day 1000 to Layla!

Happy Day 1000 to Libby!

Happy Day 1000 to Traci!

Happy Day 1000 to Winkle!

Happy Day 1100 to Mylene!

Happy Day 1100 to Anna!

Happy Day 1100 to Jeroen!

Happy Day 1100 to Quinn!

Happy Day 1100 to Lucy!

Happy Day 1100 to TipTree!

Happy Day 1200 to Beckie!

Happy Day 1200 to Kristi Coulter!

Happy Day 1200 to C How!

Happy Day 1200 to Sarita!

Happy Day 1200 to Ingrid!

Happy Day 1200 to Trish!

Happy Day 1300 to JM!

Happy Day 1300 to Rebecca!

Happy Day 1300 to Digs!

Happy Day 1300 to Carrie!

Happy Day 1400 to Amy!

 

it’s time now.

if what you’ve been trying isn’t working, you might find that you do better with more support, more tools. being sober is not about willpower. it’s not about declaring that this is (really and totally) your last day 1 ever. being sober is about doing something different(ly). It’s not try harder, it’s try different. that list of things that you’ve not wanted to do – that list of things that could support your sobriety – that list of things you’ve said “i’m not doing this and this and this but i still want to be sober but i won’t do this and this and this …”
it’s time now. it’s time do some of those things on the list.
you want to be sober.
don’t get so hung up on the HOW.
~
This is painting Exit 342. Stay here, stay sober, stay focussed. Stay …
see more sober / recovery art here (thanks to mr.belle): http://www.artsober.com

“i believe in moderation”

email from ashley: 

“Belle, what if I don’t think [that drink] was wolfie? I guess I feel confused. I haven’t had any drinks since that night because I really haven’t wanted one accept last night. But I forgot and didn’t have one. I guess I feel like I believe in moderation. Since I’ve been going without the social lubricant for so long, I no longer feel like I even need alcohol. Does this make sense? I know I have issues with moderation, alcohol got me into a nasty place about 6 months ago. And I was abusing it, using it in the wrong ways. Now I don’t need it like that. I’ve found other ways to relieve stress, a hot bath, hot tea, a walk. Stuff like that. I’m probably just rambling now i don’t know. Not really sure what to make sense of it. But wondering this as well. Why does a lot of situations have to be so black and white. I feel like this is grey.”

me: I think that the voice in our head does like to suggest that moderation is a good idea. ‘it‘ll be different this time’ it says. ‘you quit for a while so you’re fine now.’

the thing is, we all hear the same voice in our head. we hear the same ideas. and maybe NOW you dont need alcohol like that – for now. for right now. if you arrived in a crappy place before, you may well end up in a crappy place again, and then find it very hard to get sober momentum again. sober momentum is a hard thing to get.

there is grey. there are lots of people standing with one foot in both drinking and sobriety. or they switch between the sober and the drinking camp. the only ones I know who are happy about their decision, and wake up happy for the decisions they’re making on a daily basis, are those who are now sober. I‘ve been penpals with 2,494 people as of today (who’s gonna be 2500?). I wish I could tell you otherwise, that the over-drinkers wake up every day pleased with the decision to drink the night before, but I can’t. and I know it sucks rocks. and I know that your brain throws a tantrum right around now. you hate me right this second. well, not you, wolfie. you’re here asking for sober support. wolfie is something else entirely.

I know that lots of people do many sessions of ‘alcohol research’. you’ve done some before. hopefully you won’t do more now. but you might. we want to think that outcome of drinking will be different ‘this time’ – but it‘s a bit like a shitty boyfriend who makes that ever-tearful promise to CHANGE. “I won’t hit you this time,” he says.

but he does. he will. maybe not the first day. but it’s there.

and yes, it totally makes sense that the voice in your head sounds sweeter than this. any voice that’s saying “you should drink” is wolfie. nobody needs to drink. for any reason, ever. and normal drinkers dont have a voice convincing them that a few drinks here and there will be ok. so yes, it is wolfie. i’m sorry. wolfie hates it when i say that, too. you’re like “it’s not wolfie dammit” and i’m like: that’s what wolfie looks like …

sweet pea, your original place is here, with a sober penpal. you’re member 2133. that’s your sober suite. there’s a nice view and you wake up every day relieved that you didn’t drink yesterday. and it never gets old.

anytime you want to shout, I‘m here.
hugs from me

Tuesday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Balancebeam!

Happy Day 50 to Froggy Google!

Happy Day 50 to Jaded!

Happy Day 50 to Jacci2!

Happy Day 50 to Bemmy Girl!

Happy Day 50 to Battle Matt!

Happy Day 50 to CPS!

Happy Day 50 to Lalisa!

Happy Day 50 to SarahJune31!

Happy Day 50 to Maverick!

Happy Day 50 to crookedriver!

Happy Day 50 to AllyMarie!

Happy Day 50 to Molly Jones!

Happy Day 50 to Aprile!

Happy Day 50 to terbear!

Happy Day 50 to RachelB!

Happy Day 50 to catkins007!

Happy Day 50 to AustinHappy!

Happy Day 50 to i.t.!

Happy Day 50 to Macbender1!

Happy Day 50 to Kats76!

Happy Day 50 to latebloomer!

Happy Day 50 to Tsilver!

Happy Day 50 to VMD Free!

Happy Day 50 to Lua!

Happy Day 50 to SusanMarie!

Happy Day 100 to vstuart!

Happy Day 100 to Edi!

Happy Day 100 to Rasberrikiss!

Happy Day 100 to Leftcoastgirl!

Happy Day 100 to Nickie!

Happy Day 100 to S!

Happy Day 100 to Airbear!

Happy Day 100 to Kerry!

Happy Day 100 to JI!

Happy Day 100 to melmel!

Happy Day 100 to JustJen!

Happy Day 100 to Franci!

Happy Day 100 to Rivets!

Happy Day 100 to Pauley!

Happy Day 100 to Dory!

Happy Day 180 to 2BLimber!

Happy Day 180 to Patten!

Happy Day 180 to Amara!

Happy Day 180 to KT Web!

Happy Day 180 to SoberSparkles!

Happy Day 180 to Mastiffmom!

Happy Day 200 to Southernsunshine!

Happy Day 200 to Wantasoberlife!

Happy Day 200 to None4Rachel!

Happy Day 200 to MessyJessy!

Happy Day 200 to CaseyM!

Happy Day 200 to Surfrider11!

Happy Day 200 to Lady!

Happy Day 200 to runnergirl!

Happy Day 200 to marina!

Happy Day 300 to angiem!

Happy Day 300 to Truleah!

Happy Day 300 to Phoenix!

Happy Day 300 to Emma_J!

Happy Day 300 to Crystal Light!

Happy Day 365 to Lucia!

Happy Day 365 to Ami!

Happy Day 365 to RossFSU!

Happy Day 365 to Moon Alley!

Happy Day 365 to Julijean123!

Happy Day 400 to Suzan!

Happy Day 400 to Linley!

Happy Day 400 to NicholasCharles!

Happy Day 500 to MJP!

Happy Day 500 to Jobo!

Happy Day 500 to Liquid Tracy!

Happy Day 500 to Graceful!

Happy Day 600 to Miss M!

Happy Day 600 to Jayda!

Happy Day 600 to KRD!

Happy Day 600 to Trixie!

Happy Day 600 to Sweet-Tea!

Happy Day 600 to Coffecuphead!

Happy Day 600 to Kitkatpaddywack!

Happy Day 600 to 1035!

Happy Day 600 to Jayda!

Happy Day 600 to Frankie!

Happy Day 700 to GabbyGirl37!

Happy Day 700 to TheMadnessStopsNow!

Happy Day 700 to Elly!

Happy Day 700 to 19Cathleen!

Happy Day 700 to Rexytime!

Happy Day 700 to Cocomack!

Happy Day 700 to NewChris!

Happy Day 700 to Jas!

Happy Day 800 to Kenney!

Happy Day 800 to Paulita!

Happy Day 800 to Artsmommy!

Happy Day 800 to Ish!

Happy Day 800 to Bekki!

Happy Day 800 to Bit Jane!

Happy Day 800 to Susanc!

Happy Day 900 to IrishGirl!

Happy Day 900 to Nancysoberheart!

Happy Day 900 to Janett!

Happy Day 900 to B!

Happy Day 900 to Mayarose!

Happy Day 900 to Saphire!

Happy Day 900 to Tlecompte!

Happy Day 900 to hcasstevens!

Happy Day 1000 to Challenges!

Happy Day 1000 to Rabbit!

Happy Day 1000 to OneDayAtATime!

Happy Day 1000 to JG!

Happy Day 1000 to KateF!

Happy Day 1000 to Margy!

Happy Day 1000 to Kellyfamilymama!

Happy Day 1000 to Wanting to be a Sober Mom!

Happy Day 1000 to Tammi!

Happy Day 1100 to Cat Girl!

Happy Day 1100 to DianeLouise!

Happy Day 1200 to KristinRecovering!

Happy Day 1200 to Sara!

Happy Day 1300 to  Eric!

Happy Day 1500 to Katherine!

move the box.

(from thursday august 4)

a day of chaos. At 6 p.m. the computer crashed and it took AN HOUR to recover Outlook, all the chart updates from the morning were lost, T. seems to not know I’m away, L. from job #1 emailing @ 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. Argh. Worked to 7:30 p.m. frustratedly. This is supposed to be my offline time. From now on, i have to save/close all files every time so that if it crashes, i can avoid this whole restore thing. Every time. This cannot happen again. (you have a new day 1, you review what happened, you do not do the same thing again.)

Not everyone learns from their mistakes or from their weird situations. It’s surprising, really, our capacity for not-learning. My husband does this: nearly trips over the box by the dining room table, but he doesn’t move it. I’ll just be more careful next time (try harder) he says. Really? Why? Why isn’t one time, the first time, enough. Booze in the house makes you feel weird? Remove it, ask your partner to store it where you can’t see it and if they ‘forget’ you can also forget what you’re doing and pour it out.

If you trip on a box, then you move it – you don’t ‘try harder’ to avoid it.

I’m not really talking about a paralysis of trying to prevent or foresee every eventuality. I’m talking about small, sensible, realistic adjustments. You relapsed last time when meeting your friends for dinner. This time i’ll be careful. OR you could assess, pivot five degrees, and see your friends (a) for brunch, (b) for lunch, (c) at your place for a potluck indian meal where you all make new recipes from cookbooks, (d) meet them when you’re 6+ weeks sober or beyond.

But Belle, that’s not realistic. I can’t move all the boxes that are on the floor, not even those right by my chair, not even the one i tripped on yesterday.

(Side note. Bottom drawer was pulled out, I got up, and turned forgetting the drawer was open, fell hard on concrete, knocked myself out for a few seconds, scared the clients in my office, scared myself, left the store with cash register open to go get help, got off relatively easy (bruised head to waste, chiropractic for months). Did i ever (and i mean EVER) have that bottom drawer pulled all the way open (and leave it like that) again? No. Because me, when i personally was doing my ‘best’ … i had fallen hard. That was me at my best, trying hard. and i fell hard. so do i try hard again? or do i remove the obstacle. (But it was only once, but i can’t avoid all of the triggers…) Can you move some of the boxes, close some of the open drawers?

What’s the fascination with seeing how few changes, how little support, the least amount of the time we can spend, the least a mount on money on support on treats. For what? To have a new day 1? What’s the fascination with running on such a small margin? Stop this shit. Stop it right now. Put some gas in your sober car, move the box, close the drawer; learn from errors.

AND put some other preventative things in place. Stop falling down. Just. Stop. It.