i depend on other people

email from Sober in Seattle (day 210):  “I relate to your penpal who said: ‘I have never used…support…i have never consistently reached out to another person…’ — not just for sobriety, but for anything. I am 54, and my whole life i have tried to tread very gently through the planet, asking little from anyone, because i don’t want to be reminded of my childhood, where all need was an admission of weakness, and any request for help would be turned down.

Of course there are a hundred million ways every day that I depend on other people. The farmers who grow my food, the writers who create the books i read and shows i watch, the folks who maintain my car and my apartment building, the police and fire and emergency responders who make my world as safe as it can be. But none of this help requires me asking for something, me putting myself out there to get what i need.

I have not written emails every day of my sobriety to my sober pen pals (Belle and Apprentice Elise), not because i am trying to hide anything, or because i don’t have time, but because i have a habit cultivated over 50 years of not reaching out to people. Not asking for anything. Not being vulnerable.”

[update: she’s on day 229 today]



stay here bracelet
stay sober. stay focussed. just do today. stay here.
14 karat gold.
mailed from france.
complete with sober superpowers.

Stay Here Part II


Yeah, so here’s what happened.  I was flying for the first time sober, and I heard a voice. Thankfully the voice was coming from inside my own head, and it said “Stay Here.” Stay in the moment. Don’t go off worrying about tomorrow or yesterday or later or whenever. Don’t freak out about what could happen. First, it probably won’t. Second, you waste energy for no reason. Third, you look goofy holding on for dear life while everyone else is sipping their tea and reading magazines.

well, i was pretty proud of myself for this “Stay here” idea, until i got this email from KT on the day she arrived at 100 days sober:

… I wanted to thank you for the “stay here” post.  That has been my saving grace more times than I can count!  For my treat for reaching 100 days I’m going to get that tattooed on the inside if my wrist!  🙂

Tattooed! Holy, that’s bravery batman. I could never get a tattoo.  I’m too much of a chicken.

But KT inspired me.  And i contacted bracelet chick #2, and asked her to design a bracelet for me.  It’s *brass*, and is lightly brushed on the outside.

stay here

I loved it so much that I’ve asked her if she can make more for us, and she can! (thanks laura).