it could be worse, right? think of your ex-partner and then listen to this one-minute message below.
nothing to download. just press play 🙂
hugs from me xo
Tag: One Minute Message
Drinking is incongruent behaviour
This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #215. I did a personalized audio for a subscriber about fear, defensiveness, rationalizations. And it’s also about the incongruent idea of drinking — how having alcohol in your life wouldn’t match up with what you say, and who you say you are. You can listen to this clip from the audio, and then send me a comment.
If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download link at the bottom of this message.
Question:Â In what way is drinking incongruent with who you say you are?
Download / Purchase the entire podcast episode ($4.99)
Sign up for the podcast membership (1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)
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This is one of the first paintings Mr.Belle did, back before i started putting them on the site. this is a RARE example of early work … Exit the situation. If booze is an elevator that only goes down, then you EXIT. Now would be a good time. You were looking for a sign? Here’s your sign.…Â
new painting posted
this is #614: Exit
link here >Â www.artsober.com
thanks for your support, it means so much! at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …
see this new painting here >Â www.artsober.com
~ hugs from me (and him)
f*ck this boring sober sh*t …
email from A: “Hello Belle, the arguments and rationalisations that Wolfie comes up with are nuts! I’ve made a list of Wolfie’s repertoire of tricks. And each time Wolfie pipes up, I can quickly identify which trick he’s trying to pull, and call him out!
- Romanticisation (it’s soo nice and cosy and glamorous and comforting to have a lovely glass of red/white/beer/etc)
- Minimisation (I’m not that bad, I haven’t crashed a car, my husband still loves me, I can handle my addiction)
- Bargaining (just one drink; if I treat myself to a relapse today I can get back on the horse tomorrow, etc.)
- Defeatism (I’m no good at this sober thing, I might as well drink because I’m going to fail eventually anyway, I’m hopeless, etc.)
- Rebellion (fuck this boring sober shit, wohoo, I’m a shit-hot rebel and I’m going to defy all the insipid vanilla crap my sober self is telling me to do, because who gives a fuck!)
- Impersonation (this is when Wolfie pretends that he is me, that his voice is actually MY OWN voice, and he does his level best to convince me that what I really, truly, absolutely want is to drink no matter what my sober self is telling me).”
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[have you heard some of the wolfie voices lately?]
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Grace when times are hard. Kindness to yourself and others. Taking care of you.
new painting posted
this is #607: Grace
link here >Â www.artsober.com
thanks so much for your support 😉 at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …
see this new painting here >Â www.artsober.com
~ hugs from me (and him)
we’re used to taking care of ourselves
email from apprentice dale:Â “There is something zen about letting go, just accepting that instead of the busiest month we’ve ever had at work, this May will likely be income-less … [and that by being closed], we can say that during this time we did our best and we did our part.
I was thinking today that sober people are well prepared for situations like this. We’re used to staying home while people go out to bars late at night. We’re used to dealing with uncomfortable feelings and letting them pass. We’re used to telling ourselves to stay in the present and not make ourselves crazy thinking about a future that isn’t here yet. We’re used to the idea that we will feel differently in 2, 10, 30 days than we do from today. We’re used to distinguishing between the shit we can change and the shit that we can’t. We’re used to taking care of ourselves no matter what is going on around us. I’ve been wondering why I’ve been feeling more zen when so many people whose lives will be less impacted than mine are freaking out — and I think it’s because I’ve been training for this for a while now, I just didn’t know it :)”
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Grace when times are hard. Kindness to yourself and others. Taking care of you.
new painting posted
this is #602: Grace
link here >Â www.artsober.com
thanks so much for your support 😉 at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …
see this new painting here >Â www.artsober.com
~ hugs from me (and him)
I can control what I do today to help myself
email from MelMel (day16):
“Hi Belle, I feel a bit better this morning. I figure it’s all like this COVID-19 – I don’t have any control over it. But I DO have control over myself.  I can’t control what damage I’ve done already with my drinking, but I can control what I do today to help myself. The virus is similar to drinking: in order to assure these two things don’t kill me, I will follow the experts which includes WHO, the CDC, and Belle. The guidelines and sober advice. The government rules and 100 days no alcohol. I will also follow  the precautions and being aware of prelapse. These are the things I can control  in order to keep the virus and booze away from me. I will immediately reach out should I feel sick or the need to drink. I will take this time to mend my body and calm my mind. I will remind myself that thinking about doomsday catastrophic events that have not happened, are not helpful to me or anyone. I certainly wouldn’t go to a place where I know the virus would  infect me, just as certainly I wont go and consume alcohol with the intent to infect me. That’s my ‘everything is like everything’ for today! Ha!!”
[update: she’s on day 29 today]
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Grace when times are hard. Kindness to yourself and others. Taking care of you.
new painting posted
this is #602: Grace
link here >Â www.artsober.com
thanks so much for your support 😉 at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …
see this new painting here >Â www.artsober.com
~ hugs from me (and him)
omm356.Eliminate
so if you’re feeling wacky and wound up, especially in times like this, then what can you ELIMINATE that’ll make you feel better? alcohol, for sure, but what else? i share some suggestions in this one-minute message.
you can listen below. nothing to download. just press play 🙂
hugs from me xo
024. Worth It
Sometimes, when you’re trying to quit drinking, the voice in your head can get really loud. So I send out free one minute audio messages of encouragement (and ass-kicking) to anyone who wants them. This is a transcript of One Minute Message #024.
OMM024. Worth It
I’d like to go into your head for just a minute
and re-program something, if you don’t mind.
I’ll just slip in one ear and come back out the other.
And while I’m inside, I want to change one thing.
This is worth doing
because you are worth it.
Being sober is worth doing
because you are worth it.
Any shitty sober day
is better than a new Day 1.
And any improvement that you can make
to the quality of your life
is worth it for you.
You don’t have to do it for your family
you don’t have to do it for your kids
you don’t have to do it for anybody
you doing it for you is enough.
I go in one ear and I say:
This is worth doing
because you are worth it —
and then I come out the other ear
and I leave you.
*listen to the free one minute messages (there are 300+), by logging into your gumroad library here. if you haven’t signed up for the free one minute messages before, you can do that here (you only need to sign up once and then you get access to all of the OMMs).
Senior Sober Workshop: Worth
(and senior just means you’re 200+ days sober)
class begins Tuesday, July 24th
registration has just begun
small group, live calls, homework, treat box in the mail
www.soberlinks.me/worth
016. Patience
Sometimes, when you’re trying to quit drinking, the voice in your head can get really loud. So I send out free one minute audio messages of encouragement (and ass-kicking) to anyone who wants them. This is a transcript of One Minute Message #016.
016. Patience
One of the reasons we drink
is because we are looking for an Off button.
We have busy brains,
we run ourselves ragged
we get overwhelmed,
we want to find some way to make it stop.
The problem with using an anesthetic
which is what alcohol is—
the problem with using an anesthetic to make things stop
is that you make everything stop
both the good and the bad.
It shuts down happiness
as well as sadness.
You might think it’s smoothing over grief or shame
but in fact, it smooths over pride and self-esteem.
In searching for an Off button,
to reach for alcohol
creates another problem.
It’s not that we don’t need an Off button,
it’s that we’re reaching for the wrong tool.
What you’re doing now is you are learning new ways
of finding an Off button.
And, you’re being patient with yourself
While you figure it out
*listen to the free one minute messages (there are 200+), by logging into your gumroad library here. if you haven’t signed up for the one minute messages before, you can do that here (you only need to sign up once and then you get access to all of the OMMs).
015. Good Feeling
Sometimes, when you’re trying to quit drinking, the voice in your head can get really loud. So I send out free one minute audio messages of encouragement (and ass-kicking) to anyone who wants them. This is a transcript of One Minute Message #015.
You’re listening to this audio*
because you’d like to be sober
and you’d like support to do it.
I have good feelings about you, and about this.
There’s lots of people who have drinking issues
who don’t do anything about it—
who don’t try anything.
They get locked in their head with wolfie
and they think that what they hear in their head is true.
They get stuck.
We can’t exaggerate the downside of the drinking elevator.
It goes right to the bottom.
When you have an opportunity to step off early,
you do that.
When you have an opportunity to have some support
and some tools
you do that.
The reason I feel optimistic about you
is because you’re listening to this.
There are many, many people
who don’t even know that there’s help available;
who are stuck.
And that’s not you.
You’re here, you’re trying, you’re adding to your sober toolbox
you’re getting momentum, and you’re reaching out.
That gives me a good feeling about you.
*listen to the free one minute messages (there are 200+), including this episode #15, here.