Tag: mini-course

november 30th

right when i’m in the middle of things, i think: what have i gotten myself into. and then when it’s over, i wonder what i could do differently next time. different. better.
like when catering, i think: this is long, and then when it’s over, i wonder if i could have done more in advance (different). could i have more help next time (different). could i (right now) make french omelettes for my husband for brunch to say thank you for doing all the fucking dishes, endlessly, for the last five days. (his reply was if you want to cook again …. meaning he’ll happily eat them, but only if i want to cook again, as if cooking is only something I do once a year, and i just did it, so i must be done with it :))
The DURING time of any project, any transformation, any ‘journey’ is often hard. we don’t have a lot of perspective.
we’re just doing. doing the next thing. just keeping going.
but if you notice that the doing is hard, and the work you’re doing feels endless, then you have to take some time to think about things.

is this something i want for my life. is this something i’m willing to do. do i want the better outcome. do i want the things, the feelings. do i want to feel proud of myself. Am i willing to try different, add in help, support, accountability, to get the thing that i want.

if things are feeling wacky, then you can add in more support, specialized people who know what you’re dealing with, who can calm you when you say: i want this, but i don’t want it … you know?
and they say
yes, i know. 

little Exit magnet paintings.they remind you that the ‘during’ might be hard, but it’s worth doing. and that once you exit the booze elevator, and you do that work, you stay out. exit. find the exit and take it.

these anti-wolfie fridge magnets are about 2.5″ square (6 cm) on card stock.

magnet 249 > link

december 2nd

things you can do on weekends, when you’re not hungover.
run.
nap because you’re tired, not because you’re heaving.
you can make apple cake, twice, two days in a row, to try to improve on the recipe that your husband says was fine the first time. and it was. i’ll make it a third time to verity, then be done with it. apple cake sorted. next.
when you’re not hungover you can eat said apple cake, with a small cup of decaf, and play cards.
you can read books about ‘copying other people’s success’ and about ‘apple cake’ and about ‘the art of asking’.
you can have a one hour bath.
you can watch an episode of Six Feet Under and be transported back to 2001.
you can clean your drawers and file your papers (husband).
you can do one load of laundry and then feel bored (wife).
you can ask Alexa to play songs by holly cole, and sarah mclachlan, and norah jones.

things you do NOT do on sober weekends.
fret.
roll around in the bed.
feel uncomfortable in your own skin.
lick the salt off of crackers
promise that tomorrow will be better and the renege on that promise. (the spelling of ‘renege’ is completely weird as far as i’m concerned. i’ve maybe never written it before. it should be reneg… just saying.)

you know what? you remove the booze and things change.
if you’d like to stop licking crackers and making promises, you can try some new things.
NEW actions.
NEW supports.
NEW accountability.

you alone in your head? wolfie is too loud.
i’ve been there. it’s rotten.

you sober?
you leave all the shitty, hungover stuff behind.

little Exit magnet paintings.they remind you that the ‘during’ might be hard, but it’s worth doing. and that once you exit the booze elevator, and you do that work, you stay out. exit. find the exit and take it.

these anti-wolfie fridge magnets are about 2.5″ square (6 cm) on card stock.

magnet 249 > link