Photos: Weather

Assignment #16: Weather (here are the photos!)

The project this time was to take a picture (or create some art) of something that could be called ‘weather’.

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures, this post is now closed to new submissions.

If you want to join in for the next assignment, stay tuned.

 

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Photos: Pets

Assignment #15: Pets [or wildlife / animals] (here are the photos!)

The project this time was to take a picture (or create some art) of one of your furry or feathered friends.

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures, this post is now closed to new submissions.

If you want to join in for the next assignment, stay tuned.

This post is now closed to new submissions.

yes, these things are true

Yes.

Yes. it does suck that you don’t lose weight when you first quit drinking. Yes i agree. It’s unfair.

Yes, it’s totally OK to stay home instead of socializing on your FIRST weekend sober. Yes. You’re taking care of you.

Yes, you can quit drinking without telling everyone you have a PROBLEM. you don’t have to tell your husband yet. You will find a way of explaining what you’re doing that feels good to you.

Yes, i talk about who to tell, and what to say, and what else to drink instead, and what to expect in the sober jumpstart class. you can even hear my voice. and maybe you’ll find it a tiny bit funny and entertaining when i swear on the audios. maybe.

Yes, you will feel tired when you first quit drinking. Your poor body needs to rest and reset. Sleep as much as you can for the first 30+ days. Take naps, order take-out.

Yes, it’s entirely possible to quit drinking if your husband works in a brewery, or if he drinks the contents of the brewery, or if he thinks that online sober support is a scam/cult. Yes, what you’re doing is for YOU. He’s on his own journey. Look away.

Yes, you can argue that treats aren’t necessary for you. And i’ll probably make some suggestions for treats you might like. that said, you will figure out your own way through. what you’ve been doing before hasn’t been successful. so you know, it can’t hurt to have some tea or a breakfast sandwich now and then as a treat

Yes, your kids do notice when you’re drinking, and yes they notice when you stop. They notice a lot. They notice in ways that they’ll never be able to explain with words. cuz something like ‘trust’ doesn’t have easy words to describe it. They notice. they will not use words to tell you how they notice.

Yes, you will feel gigantically shitty if you drink for 2 days, be sober for 1 or 2, drink for 5 days, quit again. It’s so true, but hanging around day 1 is probably the hardest place to be. you have none of the benefits of drinking (are there any benefits?), and you have none of the benefits of sobriety (there are many). Day 1 is too close to the sewer. It’s time to step out into the light.

Yes, the Fuck You Wolfie bracelet does help. but you have to wear it. you look down at the bracelet, and you think “OK i’m doing this. This sober thing? this is me. doing it.” and then you yell at wolfie. alone in your car, under your breath in the grocery store.

YES, you can try to quit all of your vices at the same time with a juice cleanse or a raw vegan diet thrown in for good measure. I’ll probably suggest that it’s not a terribly fun or wise to do it all at once.

YES, repeatedly relapsing does mean something. it means that whatever you’re doing so far is good, but it’s not enough. you need to add more supports. if each time you begin again you add more supports, then eventually your sober tool kit will be big enough to get you through .. sometimes the support you need will be rehab. sometimes the support you’re missing is more connection.  sometimes the support you need will be AA. sometimes the support you need will be listening to sober podcasts. it’s not really about ‘trying harder’ … what else could you add?

and YES, i do believe you can do it, even when you don’t believe it yet. I have been on day 1 and day 7 and day 37 and day 287. I remember exactly how i felt. I felt like there were two versions of me: The ‘real’ version of me was the drinker … and the ‘new/shadow’ version of me walking alongside was the sober me.  it took a LONG time until i really really really felt that the new sober me was the ‘real’ me. But thankfully, while i was going along, it didn’t matter. I continued to drive along in my sober car, with both versions of me still present, and I just kept going until the fake drinking me faded entirely. That you can see both versions doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. just keep going.

 

Photos: Red

Assignment #14: Red (here are the photos!)

The project this time was to take a picture (or create some art) of something red…

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures, this post is now closed to new submissions.

If you want to join in for the next assignment, stay tuned.

This post is now closed to new submissions.

i have an art wolfie

from me:

I’m working on a new Passion workshop, you know, how do you get more passion/hobby things into your life once you’ve been sober for a bit.  Drinking often squishes out all of our hobbies, and if we’ve been drinking for a long time, then even the idea of having a hobby is hard to fathom. So i’m working out exactly what i want to say in this workshop, like “developing the curriculum” – which means i have a big sheet of brown paper on the wall beside my bed and i’m adding ideas in different coloured markers, visual girl that i am. i really am a 5 year old inside, happy with my crayola markers.

As a preview for the new class, I had this great (terrifying) idea to audio record my thought process when i try to do something hobby-like. You know, try to actually record the wicked noise that starts up in my head right away … maybe you know that noise! Hmm, sounds quite a bit like wolfie in fact. maybe i have an Art Wolfie.

Anyway, because my husband is so calming (for me) i thought i’d record me saying aloud what i think when i look at a painting project, and then he could chime in with what he’s thinking (since he doesn’t have a wolfie, the fucker).

So far i’ve floated the idea past him a couple of times but he’s not biting. I’ll try to tempt him again later today. stay tuned. i may have to make him some lemon bars as a bribe. if you’re interested in learning more about the Passion Project, make sure you’re on the list here. If you’re already on that list, then just hang out. it’s coming..

from my inbox:

Annie2 (day 100): “It’s my day 100!  I was thinking of this day last night remembering the desperation I felt 100 days ago… I expected so much more emotion today but realized last night that I’ve settled into this new me and am content to make this commitment of not drinking my reality.  It feels good and could not have been done without you and checking in daily (and sometimes for hours multiple times a day) with you and your blog.  I don’t remember when I stopped thinking about being tired of thinking about drinking, but I did, probably around the time midway thru that I realized I went a few days without emailing saying I was sober… I knew I was and knew you were there regardless.

The magnitude of what you are doing is unbelievable and resonates with so many people.  Thank you from me! Annie2 ~ committed for another 100!”

~

Happy Day 50 to Renee!

Happy Day 50 to StevieM!

Happy Day 50 to SaraN!

Happy Day 50 to Lizzy!

Happy Day 50 to DeeN!

Happy Day 50 to TracyG!

Happy Day 50 to OneDayAtATime!

Happy Day 50 to Lo!

Happy Day 100 to Carrie Kaffer!

Happy Day 100 to Raquelle!

Happy Day 100 to mkstafford!

Happy Day 100 to Annie2!

Happy Day 100 to EmilyJane!

Happy Day 200 to Catkin!

Photos: Water

Assignment #13: Water (here are the photos!)

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures.

This post is closed to new submissions 🙂

Is there a magic garlic time?

From me:

i’m happy to report that i’m back to work at my regular job, catering is busy this week, and my health seems stable and 100%. all good news as far as i’m concerned. oh and i’m running!

I had the beginnings of a very interesting conversation yesterday with Tim about how we manage our careers… and i think, as boozers, we’re all so prone to seeing things in black and white (me included), that once we realize that there are shades of grey, it really is like we can embark on a new adventure.

Have you ever had this thought: I can’t do X because of Y. Sure you have. We have those thoughts all day, every day. I can’t pursue my passion because I need a day job. I can’t go to the mall to get detergent because i have to pick up the kids. I can’t start the lasagne sauce now because it’s 8 a.m. and i don’t want to smell the sauce all day long.

i am going to write and think and do podcasts about this subject, because our default setting of black/white thinking means that we miss the other squillion options.  do you have to go to the mall to get detergent? I mean aren’t there other stores? Yes, the mall may be cheaper, but there are other stores that are closer, take less time, and then the task will be done and you can get it out of your head. Frankly, removing the item from your to-do list is worth more than 35 cents.  Cuz really, saving 35 cents and putting it off for 10 days or until you have the ‘right’ time to get to the mall when the planets align is just crazy making and exhausting.

Or in my case, the catering example, because this just happened to me this morning … up early, i start baking, but i leave the cooking stuff aside, saying to myself that it’s too early. Oh really? Is there a magic hour that cooking with garlic is OK? Like would 9 a.m. be OK but 8 a.m. isn’t? And if there is a magic garlic time (and clearly there isn’t), then i could do one squillion other things towards making the lasagne at 8 a.m. I could grate the mozza, i could prep the sauce to cook but not turn on the heat and instead put the pot in the fridge. I could start the fucking sauce at 8 a.m. and just get over myself.

what’s your I can’t do X because of Y thought today ? I can’t get sober until the planets are aligned. I can’t sing because i’m not good enough to make a living at it. I can’t start a knitting project until i finish every single other project i’ve ever started in my whole life first. I can’t sell birthday cakes because someone else already does that in my town. I can’t pursue my passion because it won’t make me rich.

I love this shit. really really love this. for some reason, i really like examining what we think (what I think) and WHY. and then flipping it on its head. the queen of reframing.

now let me go reframe that lasagne sauce.

Photos: Christmas

Assignment #12: Christmas (here are the photos!)

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures. Here’s what Primrose sent me:

Dear Belle. I attach a photo for the Christmas photo assignment.  Would you like an short essay to go with it?!  well you’re getting one anyway so here goes 😉

What I learned from doing this assignment:

There are lovely things everywhere when you start looking for them. I kept stopping in the street to take photos of random Christmassy things.

  • I should really dig out my ‘proper’ camera again. If I could find the charger. And remember how to use it.
  • I need to stop saying ‘I should’ and replace it with ‘I could’. If I don’t end up doing it, hey – no prob. Life’s too short to beat yourself up over everything I could have done but didn’t.
  • I am a ridiculous perfectionist. Well, bugger that. I am SENDING YOU A PHOTO THAT COULD BE BETTER. Blimey. What will I do next?!

 

This post is closed to new submissions 🙂

Photos: Flowers

Assignment #11: Flowers (here are the photos!)

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures, this post is now closed to new submissions.

If you want to join in for the next assignment, stay tuned.

This post is now closed to new submissions.

Photos: Breakfast

Assignment #10: Breakfast (here are the photos!)

The project this time was to take a picture of your breakfast.

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures, this post is now closed to new submissions.

If you want to join in for the next assignment, stay tuned.

This post is now closed to new submissions.