#100DaySoberChallenge – Continuous Days in February

Hi there, happy valentine’s day. this seems like a good day to have a look back on where we’ve been, to see if it’s leading to where we want to go. Like, can you ‘get what you want’ by doing what you’ve been doing?

The goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments below, you can say what is the longest stretch of continuous days you’ve had so far IN FEBRUARY. Maybe your longest sober stretch is 7 days continuously, or you’re on day 14 today for February …

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober for February 2020 (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january for now.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in February” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#100DaySoberChallenge Day 31- Continuous Days

Hi there, so it’s end of January. Seems like a good day to have a look back on where we’ve been, to see if it’s leading to where we want to go (how’s that for a confusing sentence!).

The goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say what is the longest stretch of continuous days you’ve had in January. Maybe your longest sober stretch was 7 days continuously, or 18, or you’re working on today as the 31st continuous day.

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober for January 2020 (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january for now.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in January” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#100DaySoberChallenge Day 12 – Continuous Days

i wanted to create this check-in space for today. the goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say how many continuous days you’ve had so far since January 1st. Maybe you’ve had 3 days continuously sober, or 8, or you’re working on today as the 12th continuous day?

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober since january 1st (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january up to now.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in January” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

Solstice to Solstice December 2019

From Sober in Richmond (The Solstice Guy): “I started my 100 Day challenge on the Solstice [and am celebrating 5 years sober on December 21st] … If there is anyone out there who needs some motivation to start – perhaps they can do the Solstice to Solstice. It really helped me to have the power of the whole darn earth behind me rather than a day or date on a calendar … It’s an incredibly magical thing, the Solstice to Solstice!”

Imagine it’s the shortest day of the year [in the northern hemisphere!]. Imagine you’re sober. December 21st can be your Day 1 or maybe it’s your Day 50. Or 400. Doesn’t matter.

Now, can you look ahead and see yourself sober on June 20th? Summer Solstice. Stand here. Look ahead 180 days. Because if you think the view from day 100 is great, wait until you see 180 days.

  • If you’d like to be sober from Solstice to Solstice, you can put a comment below.
  • Audios to listen to for Solstice to Solstice? Receive one archived podcast every 2 days for 180 days. That’s 90 audios in total, starting with SP001 Accepting Help all the way to SP090 Magical Time. Audios discounted 40%
  • Audios to listen to for Solstice to Solstice? Here is the link for pack #2, audios SP091 to SP180. One new audio lesson every two days for 180 days. Audios discounted 40%

I like the idea of having the ‘whole darn earth behind me’ – how about you?

hugs, me xo

[if your brain likes special numbers to get started, this might be a good one]

~

you have potential when you’re sober. this is painting #576 here > link

small notes about summer #3, #4 & #5

small notes about summer #3

so you will decline some of the invitations to some of the summer events. people want to go for a hike, that’s fine. They want you to sit around in their yard and watch them get hammered? not so much. You can attend every second event. You can arrive late and leave early. You can (for sure) go in your own car so that you can leave when you’re ready. You can take a replacement drink with you to avoid the tepid tap water on offer. You can show up with some fuck-you wolfie lemonade and then see how many people want to try it because it looks so good.

~

this painting is available at auction. HIGH BID is $5!!

link here


small notes about summer #4

when you drift from your sober supports, the voice in your head gets louder. It’s like an early warning system. you hear the wolfie voice, you go back to your sober stuff. listen to an audio, read a post. when you drift, the alarm will start to ring. make sure you listen to it. and don’t let wolfie tell you you’re too busy to be ‘sober’ today. not true. you being sober is how you have your best possible day today.


small notes about summer #5

small sober treats, something every two days, and you frame it like this:  this is my treat for being sober, because this shit is hard and i rock.

examples:
bubble bath
nice pens
smoked salmon
pickled onions
raspberries
flowers
magazine
kindle book
nail polish
new wrench
screwdriver with changeable ends (they have a fancier name than this; we called mine “the intensely useful item”)
posh makeup
shitty cheap makeup
calendar
getting a photo printed on real photo paper
new socks
replacing your towels, are you kidding, do you think i can’t see them from here?
cake
cake
corn on the cob
cake

small notes about summer #1 & #2

small notes about summer #1

alcohol is not required. not for summer. not for winter. not for fridays. not for sunday afternoons. that you have a brain that thinks that drinking is a good idea, is wolfie. and you know what? wolfie will MAKE UP reasons, to make drinking seem like a good idea, including the weather. oh look it’s snowing? drink. oh look it’s summer? drink. all untrue. drinking is not required for any event. for any weather. for any day. when you hear from wolfie, you can remind him that he’s a bastard anus. tell him i said so. tell him i said that it gets easier as you go along, too. tell him that.

~

this painting is available at auction. opening bid $5.
three days to bid. short auction 🙂


small notes about summer #2

that voice in your head (wolfie) is an equal-opportunity offender. he has the ability to take any nice situation (beach, pool, bbq) and suggest it would be NICER if you poured alcohol on your head. As if adding an anaesthetic, mis-remembering the evening, tripping, bruising, crappy sleeping, and a hangover is any part of fun. You know what makes a pool, bbq, beach nicer? Being able to remember it. Waking up in the morning and feeling proud of yourself. That.

~
so for this painting, i figured i could write a secret message and then cover it up with paint …
you’ll know there’s an extra, private, meaning under there. just for you.

NOTE: The word ‘HOPE’ will be added to this painting tomorrow, after it is dry.

link > hope 19
size is 10″ x 10″ (25 cm x 25 cm)
acrylic on hand-cut 3 mm card
belle. selling hope since 2012

#dryJuly Day 4 – Audio

happy day 4 🙂
Dear you:
You don’t drink on July 4th. You don’t drink on Thursdays and this is just another Thursday.

Because pouring a depressant on your head isn’t fine. It’s not congruent with how you say you live your life. It’s not you taking care of you.

To hear this short audio message, press the blue button below. Nothing to download. Just press play.

 

Links mentioned:

audio podcast subscription > www.audiosober.com

sober party bingo > link

Solstice to Solstice 2019

From Sober in Richmond (The Solstice Guy): “I started my 100 Day challenge on the Solstice [and am celebrating 4.5 years sober on June 21st] … If there is anyone out there who needs some motivation to start – perhaps they can do the Solstice to Solstice. It really helped me to have the power of the whole darn earth behind me rather than a day or date on a calendar … It’s an incredibly magical thing, the Solstice to Solstice!”

Imagine it’s the longest day of the year (Friday, June 21st in the northern hemisphere). Imagine you’re sober. June 21st can be your Day 1 or maybe it’s your Day 50. Or 400. Doesn’t matter. Can you see yourself sober on December 21st? Winter Solstice. Stand here. Look ahead 180 days. Because if you think the view from day 100 is great, wait until you see 180 days.

  • If you’d like to be sober from Solstice to Solstice, you can put a comment below.
  • Audios to listen to for Solstice to Solstice? Receive one archived podcast every 2 days for 180 days. That’s 90 audios in total, starting with SP001 Accepting Help all the way to SP090 Magical Time. Audios discounted 40%
  • Audios to listen to for Solstice to Solstice? Here is the link for pack #2, audios SP091 to SP180. One new audio lesson every two days for 180 days. Audios discounted 40%

I like the idea of having the ‘whole darn earth behind me’ – how about you?

say what you need … with a smile

from hollm (day 8):

“Belle, It’s hard when the doubters are your own family. My dad said “her not drinking will last about a week”. Makes me sad but also gives me the I’ll show you attitude. What a shitty thing to say. But it’s straight out of the mouth of a drinker.”

me: you can say to your dad “thanks for this. I’m not interested in your ideas unless you’re positive and supportive. if you’re going to be a shit, then i will see you less and less.” And then smile your biggest and best smile 🙂

hollm: “That’s pretty bold! But so true.”

me: i think the big smile would be the key part. and if he’s really being a shit to you, then he’s not worried about hurting your feelings. so you can be very matter of fact that you’d like cheerleading only please 🙂

hollm: “Yes obviously he isn’t worried about my feelings, so being honest with him is only fair!”

 


~ shameless commercial link ~

this bracelet is for when your brain is worried about later. When wolfie says “you’ll never do this” you say “i’m staying here. i like being sober. i’m not going anywhere else.”

I got this message from Juliejean123: “I just wanted to check in and let you know how important my “stay here” bracelet has been for me on my sober journey. I have now been sober for 616 days!!! When I signed up for your 100 day challenge, I never thought I could make it 100 days or even 30 days for that matter. Yet, here I am at over 600! I owe a lot of this to sober treats, a lot of nights in the beginning of going to bed at 8 pm, an awesome sober penpal, and my bracelet. When I find myself feeling unsteady, uncomfortable, and just icky in my own skin I look at the bracelet on my wrist and remember to “stay here”. It reminds me to not future trip and not to look back on the past. To just simply stay here. I don’t go a day without wearing it. It has become that significant for me. A million thank you’s would not be enough 🙂 You are right, sober is better!! With love and thanks, juliejean123″ [update, she’s on day 1361 today]


available on gumroad
or paypal

give up what doesn’t serve me

this is an email about how things grow and evolve. i was looking over some messages i received in 2013, about a year after i quit drinking, to see how much i’ve ‘bloomed’ since then. here’s one example:

october 9, 2013
email from E. “Hi Belle, I just want to say I got chills reading your post about opening a store! I’m not sure why exactly, there was just something so — touching on a dream — or something. And beautiful how things change and how you accept that thought so easily (it seems).
And on that note of changing dreams, I thought it was really interesting in a recent post how you mentioned you no longer write fiction. I am struggling with that one. I feel like it was this dream I always had and it’s soooo hard to let it go, but I just don’t think I like it, or that it’s good for me (it kind of makes me crazy) and I write in so many other capacities. I’m in another fiction class right now to give it one last shot to see if I want to or not, but I hope to hear from you or see a post on whether that was difficult to give up the fiction dream or if you let it go easily and what made that possible. I think the ability to allow oneself to change (including changing dreams) is so important but boy, can it be difficult!”

me: I’m big on giving up stuff that doesn’t serve me. but really the decision to not write fiction anymore wasn’t even really a decision. I just stopped. I never ‘had time’, I was always ‘busy with other things,’ and that’s it. years went by. then more years. now I realize that I wrote fiction to make other people happy. for me, it’s too solitary. and I’m not compulsive enough (i.e. I don’t get up every day just dying to write fiction). I do get up thinking about pie though. turns out I had to get sober and be 46 years old to figure out what I’m really called to do. I’m CALLED to and dream about cinnamon buns. and pie. and today I made sour cream coffee cake and bagels and lamb pot pies…

 


 

what’s interesting, of course, is that 4ish years later i WOULD start writing fiction again, sober fiction, about Rayna.

But i couldn’t see it then. i needed the space of being sober, measured in years, which eventually allowed the writing to come back in, on its own, without being forced.

It did NOT happen right away. i didn’t even predict it would happen at all.

i also found a way to make the fiction not solitary, by posting it live every day for people to read. and i found i way to make it ‘compulsive’ but committing to posting something every single day without skipping days.

the things i thought i couldn’t change, i could. the things i thought were fixed about writing fiction (solitary/not driven enough) i could change with external accountability. i know that’s not the way most people write books. it’s not the way most people do anything. but i know me. i do better when i think someone is paying attention. number of fiction books written without accountability over a period of 23 years? none. thought about it. didn’t do it. added daily accountability? wrote a first draft in 6 months.

tried to quit drinking on my own, I could get to 9 days.

add accountability? coming up on my seventh soberversary on july 1st.

but don’t get me wrong. accountability is hard. you have to reach out. you have to say you’ll do it. you have to show up. you have to allow yourself to be accountability. it’s scary to set it up. but it can help to get the thing done.

and i know, for me, i can’t do much without something external to me. it’s just how i’m wired. i can’t even apologize for it. it’s just who i am. i can do LOTS OF THINGS with accountability. I can do very little without.

i’d still like a blue bakery (i do love that photo). I’d also like to get fiction book #1 published, and start on #2. I’d like to have a radio show (!).

and my ongoing goal, often overriding others… is to sleep in.

maybe i’ll do all of them, just not at once. maybe if we’re sober for a longer period of time, there’s room to put the goals in.

and the space to let new, unimagined ones grow.

hugs from me xo

 


Question: If you were making a pledge today, and you could pick any number of days, then how long can you pledge to be sober for, for sure, starting today?

me, I can be sure, from today, that i’m not drinking until July 1st (my soberversary). for sure. for sure. no questions. i’m going to be sober longer than that, but i’m definitely 100% not drinking between now and then.

What about you? what’s your ‘for-sure-for-sure’ number of days you can be sober starting today?

~

“I know you’re chasing problems
But you’ve been running too long
It’s time that you come home my love
And stay here in the sun my love”


www.artsober.com