Day 44. I am well, i having nothing new to report. I’m not having cravings. I learned nothing yesterday.
Well, that’s not strictly true. I think i learned these things, but i knew them before, but yesterday i learned them again.
Happy Monday : )
I’ve been thinking about the word fastidious since reading a blog post from Cleo … One of the great things about blogging is how new friends can trigger an idea or a feeling, certainly unintentionally, that get you thinking …
Anyway, thanks Cleo 🙂 Just by being you, you’ve helped me a lot. Here’s how.
I used to be fastidious. Before I met my husband, and i was living alone, I cleaned the house once a week. I changed the sheets every week. I loved a clean and spare space. I also drank less, 2-3 beers a night, and not every night. i only bought 2 or 3 at a time, never bringing more than i intended to drink that evening.
Since meeting my husband, i’ve had to adjust my standards on cleanliness … two people sharing the same space can’t ‘have it their way’ all the time. And i really adore my husband. He’s just not terribly tidy.
Last night I came home (husband was still out), and read Cleo’s post. And it used the word fastidious, and i thought – hey i used to be like that. what happened?
wine is what happened. when i got married, we started having wine with dinner most nights. it was part of me playing house, i think. He also provided a built-in drinking buddy, and would unfailingly go out in the snow to get more wine when we ran out. he matched me drink for drink, we watched bad tv, played cards. sometimes we argued, sometimes we sat in separate rooms on our separate computers. he usually did the dishes after dinner (or not). And somewhere along the line i just gave up on the idea of having a really clean and tidy life.
yes, so i’ll start again. last night i came home and read Cleo’s post and saw the word fastidious, and thought – that used to be me. And alone in the apartment, no alcohol to weigh me down, i started cleaning (thanks also to Mrs. D’s reminder that it’s a good way to clear away the gray clouds). I didn’t work too hard or too long, but I did make good surface progress. i folded laundry, i sorted through some recycling.
i know you’re getting tired of me writing these early morning blogs about “What I Learned Yesterday” – but here’s what happened. just by reading your blogs, i got a few ideas. then i internalized the words and the feelings. then i puttered away at cleaning up. and THEN i felt pretty great! i would never take on housecleaning after dinner if i was drinking. (in fact, i had a close look at my bedside table last night and i can’t believe i let it get that disgustingly dirty and linty and covered in balled up kleenex.) i used to be a fastidious, and i think as my wine consumption ramped up from occasionally to daily to 3-4 glasses a night, i just GAVE UP having a clean and tidy house. OK obviously i gave up lots of other stuff too, but this one thing seemed really clear to me last night.
anyone else out there give up a TRUE part of yourself while drinking? (i just stopped typing to look around the office and i can see dust and other bits that need attention, gotta go!)