Tag: Change your Life in 30 days

Goal #4 is better than 95%…

Belle 12 Comments

funny. re-reading notes from january made while reading a self-help book. i made a list of personal development goals:

  1. Thin and lean, strong, bathing suit body
  2. Long hair, well groomed, nails, eyebrows
  3. Ridiculously well read, 52+ books/year
  4. Alcohol free (to 95%),with toasts and treats but no regular consumption
  5. Even mood, good sleep
  6. Clean, tidy, organized, prepared in advance
  7. Run more consistently
  8. Be more patient, willing to go slowly and do the work as well as dream outrageously

I’m always fascinated when i reread my journals. What strikes me about this list is that now that we’re nearing the last 3 months of the year, i can say that other than reading a ton, i do have the rest of it pretty much under control. Oh, well i don’t have #1. But goal #4 is better than 95%. Goal 6 is happening. Number 7 is true. and number 8 is definitely improved.

What i didn’t realize in writing this list back in january, was that the keystone habit that i needed to incorporate — the one thing that i could change that would make everything else easier — was being 100% sober. Had no idea how much easier it would be to achieve everything else i wanted in my life. Also had no idea quite how hard it is would be to quit. Could never, ever have done it alone. Blogging and this community is what made it possible for me.

While I do still toy with the idea of 95% sobriety, with treats and toasts, for the most part i’m too freaked out to lose the other things i’ve gained, and so for now, since i have something that’s working, i don’t want to fuck with it.

It’d be like if you gave up wheat and refined sugar (my next goal?), and you lost 20 pounds (is that me?), and then someone says “don’t you miss cake?” and you say “sure i miss cake, but i like this better.” I feel that way about wine now. maybe i’ll feel like that about cake some day. maybe after 30 days of anything that is life-improving, you’re more likely to say “i like this much better than that old thing.”

The hard part is starting and getting some momentum in your little car.

and now that i’m nearly at 90 days, i’m certainly not the slightest bit interested in starting to count days again from day #1.  and fuck yeah, sure, i’d love some wine. and yes, I’d like a glass of champagne now and then.  But for now, i am continuing to decide that the other gains i have are worth it.  Much more worth it than a glass of wine.

Good-bye summer. I’m done with you.

Belle 6 Comments

This is going to be controversial. But here goes. I don’t like summer.

It’s true that I love vacations, and i really like living in a temperate climate. I i certainly don’t much care for winter of any kind.  I like 20C/72F with blue skies. I can skip everything else, thanks.

summer is filled with expensive events, sloth, gluttony, and a general lack of structure and routines. and me, I’m a girl with a plan. I don’t like to be tightly belted in (like, for example, i never get up with an alarm clock, year round), but I do like to do the same thing pretty much every day. Summer throws me off.  Because everyone ELSE is off doing random things. and I’d prefer everything stayed the same.

Want to go visit friends? “Sorry we’re away for July.”  Want to get the dishwasher repaired? repair guys aren’t working on Fridays for August.  Want to send a business email and get a response? Fat chance.

I like to work, and i have very cool job(s). But in the summer both of my major sources of income dry up for different reasons, basically because everyone else is on vacation.  I can send out a newsletter to my clients in May and get 100 responses. I can send out something in July and get 10 tiny answers.

Also, in lots of places in Europe, there’s very little going on in August. It’s Superior and Painful Deadsville. Stores closed, favorite cafe closed for 3 weeks, butcher shuts his doors, the limited Sunday shopping halts, the farmers’ markets have very few stalls. There’s no car traffic. The neighbors above and below are away.  It’s quiet.  Too quiet for me.

I’ve experimented with working minimally in August, to try to match the European trend where little gets done, but mostly i struggle the entire month, yearning for things to get back to normal.  In my regular school-year life, i’m creating projects, i’m selling events, and when I send out an email there are actual physical humans on the other end reading them.

Also, this summer, i’ve been … well it’s obvious, isn’t it? … i’ve been working on being sober.  since july 1st.  that’s my entire summer.  and now i’m super very thankful that the ‘working hard at being sober’ part is over.  So thanks summer, see ya later.

Let’s raise a toast to September, the time of cooler temperatures, red leaves (depending on where you live), and NEW notebooks with NEW erasers and NEW pens and NEW shoes, and NEW possibilities and NEW opportunities, and NEW friends, and NEW plans, and NEW projects.

Calculations: Today is my 6 year wedding anniversary : )  Today is Day #67 sober. I have been writing 30 minutes a day since September 1st, and even managed to write 3 of 4 days while on vacation; will make up the missing 30 mins this week. So far my 30-day September writing project is quite easy and fine (go figure!) Compared to quitting drinking, maybe all of the rest of my 30 day projects will seem painless by comparison! Let’s hope.