Drinking is incongruent behaviour

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #215. I did a personalized audio for a subscriber¬†about fear, defensiveness, rationalizations. And it’s also about the incongruent idea of drinking — how having alcohol in your life wouldn’t match up with what you say, and who you say you are.¬†You can listen to this clip from the audio, and then send me a comment.

If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download link at the bottom of this message.

Question: In what way is drinking incongruent with who you say you are?

Download / Purchase the entire podcast episode ($4.99)
Sign up for the podcast membership¬†(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)




This is one of the¬†first¬†paintings Mr.Belle did, back before i started putting them on the site. this is a¬†RARE¬†example of early work … Exit the situation. If booze is an elevator that only goes down, then you EXIT. Now would be a good time. You were looking for a sign? Here’s your sign.…¬†

new painting posted
this is #614: Exit
link here > www.artsober.com

thanks for your support, it means so much! at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …

see this new painting here > www.artsober.com

~ hugs from me (and him)




so if you’re feeling wacky and wound up, especially in times like this, then what can you ELIMINATE that’ll make you feel better?¬†alcohol, for sure, but what else? i share some suggestions in this one-minute message.

you can listen below. nothing to download. just press play ūüôā

hugs from me xo

sunday audio. something has to change

this week’s sunday audio is about changing things to get different results.¬†imagine you were cold and wanted to get warm. would you remove the blankets that you already have, or would you add new blankets‚ÄĒnew layers of supports?¬†¬†being sober is just like this. adding layers of things to get new outcomes. in this audio i talk about something i read this week by Sean McCabe on the subject of habits and outcomes, and how it maps exactly to how we can change our approach to being sober.

show notes:

  • the blog post about habits by Sean McCabe (seanwes).¬†link here
  • the music, “Ibiza Dream,” thanks to Chris Haugen.¬†link here
  • the photo for ‘adding blankets of support’ thanks to The Bees.¬†link here
  • the unedited version of today’s audio, where i talk about ‘across the pond’, my plans for an extended rant,¬†and the idea of naming these audios ‘clutch/fart’ will be sent in its entirety to podcast subscribers.¬†link here



original art, thanks to mr.belle
you have potential when you’re sober
this is a close-up of painting #589
click link here

“No Mom, not now”

From ladybug11:

“My parents being here is always a major issue for me … rest and self care go out the window. My parents have no boundaries with me and impossible standards. I clean my entire house a week before they arrive and it‚Äôs still not good enough for them. They are constantly going from 7 am to 10 pm. Errands, paperwork, cleaning chores, household projects, nonstop. If I tell them I don‚Äôt feel well and want to rest, they will either accuse me of not being sober or will tell me to ‘go rest for an hour’¬†and then come into my bedroom every 5 mins asking me to help them with something that ‘cannot wait’¬†like finding old tax records or asking me to check if the dishwasher always makes that noise, or show them where my duct tape or mustard seeds or whatever fucking random weird thing they need for their project is …¬†What should I do? I feel trapped. Audio ideas?”

me:¬†it does sounds like a lot of pressure. you may have to be very firm with your mom … if you feel like she‚Äôs not giving you space, and interrupting you even when you’re in the bathroom (!), then you‚Äôll have to be firmer. ‘No Mom, not now. No Mom, not now’ ‚ÄĒ¬†as if she is 5 years old, and you would just repeat the same phrase, without being angry. By the third time she asks and you repeat it again, she‚Äôll get it, but you might have to say NO three times in a row before she hears you.

and how about these audios [i can make up a bundle too]:

  • SP103 – Boundaries (i’m doing this to take care of ME, you say. i’m learning how to say no)
  • SP163 – Good Boundaries (we care so much that other people like us, that we don’t care if we like ourselves …)
  • SP169 – Interview Practise 1 (how to maintain boundaries, why do we over-drink (is it family history?)
  • SP211 – The Sprinkler (how to avoid dealing with someone (or some situation) that is making you feel nutty)


  • a 2-minute clip from SP187 – Take Care of You (this is not the whole podcast, just an extract) –¬†what does it mean to ‘take care of yourself’?
  • OMM020 Boundaries:¬†there are toxic people around you, there is shit-pouring. you need an umbrella. how do you get one?



this is an extract from the¬†longer sober podcast “Episode 218:¬†Bored.”¬†Someone asked me to talk about what boredom in sobriety¬†means, and what to do with your time. Like, how do you deal with having an empty evening?


  • Get more one minute messages on iTunes (apple podcasts) >¬†link
  • Get more audios on Stitcher¬†>¬†link
  • or search for ‘Belle Sober Message’ on whatever podcast platform you use
  • Get the full audio for the Bored podcast episode #218 here >¬†link ($4.99)


painting 732

if booze is an elevator that only goes down, then you look for the exit. and you get off, and stay off. and in some parts of the world, the signage is different. it doesn’t say ‘exit’ – it says ‘way out’ …
link > www.artsober.com

link > www.artsober.com