Tag: 90 days sober

i may kill someone. i’m just saying.

Belle 18 Comments

better day. i slept 12 hours last night. perhaps that is overdoing it slightly. it is nice and sunny today, thankfully. haven’t felt much like running this week so i’ve taken a break, which is unheard of for me.

i’m having heart palpitations (they’re called PATs, not serious, not even very interesting from a cardiology point of view), and they’re tiring and irritating. waking me at night. starting at about 4:30 pm everyday and continuing off and on through the evening and into the night. i wake up in the morning feeling fine. then it starts up again.  today i’m doing a day without any coffee or tea of any kind, no decaf, no green tea, nothing. to see if symptoms are any better. and frankly i’ve got a gigantic headache. no caffeine! i usually have one cup of coffee at breakfast, and then drink tea ALL DAY LONG, literally one cup after the other — herbal, smoky, green, mint, don’t care what kind.

quitting tea is unlike quitting drinking. i hate the sound of the kettle boiling. husband is trying to make his cups discretely when i’m out of range. he’s just gone out now to buy me more tonic water before i turn inside out with irritation. i’m a bit tired and headachy and eating chocolate hasn’t helped. i may be in bed tonight at 8:30 pm again if this keeps up.

oh there’s the heart thing now, starting up, 5:30 pm.  so a bit later today than usual. grr.  the last time i had a prolonged spell of this, it lasted 6 weeks…  this time it’s probably been 3 weeks already. i will stay off the tea for a week to see if it helps at all, and i may kill someone between now and then.  i’m just saying.

alcohol is a common aggravant of this condition, at least i can cross that off the list …

90 days sober and an eargasm

Belle 14 Comments

90 days today. i’ve been planning a reward but haven’t come up with anything suitable yet.

I have a long — “time to make the donuts” — kind of day ahead of me today.

As I celebrate 90 days, i’ll share a few random things:

  • my favorite meal to have at home is roast chicken with carrots, dressing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce (homemade if possible, depends where you live, can’t get fresh cranberries here). my favorite meal to have out is breakfast. yes, it’s eggs and toast, but in a restaurant it tastes so much better.
  • my favorite dessert is Pie. I know i write a lot about cake, but a really good apple pie can change my day. or homemade cherry pie (none of that canned stuff). or lemon meringue. or coconut cream.
  • ok, something not food related: i had younger sisters growing up, but LOVED playing with my teddy bear. i used to think if i was quiet enough, that i could hear it speaking to me. one year i made my teddy bear a christmas tree out of the branches cut off the bottom of our big tree. i still have that bear, worn and bald, stored in my in-laws’ basement.
  • i can sign in tune and have perfect pitch. i can sing an A, for some reason that sound just lives in my head and i can pull it out at will. i used to tune the instruments in my junior high school band. if i’m watching a street performer and his guitar is wildly out of tune, i scrunch up my face a little.
  • that said, music is the one thing that can consistently and repeatedly give me goosebumps.  listen to this if you dare: http://gawker.com/eargasm/

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ5ZclZTeTU]

  • when i go swimming, i feel like i’m on vacation. even if it’s snowing outside and i had to take the bus to get to the pool. something about swimming is magically relaxing to me. it takes me somewhere else. sort of like a long run, but with less angst …
  • i wrote this in my journal once: If i could paint like Mark Lague, my life would be complete:

Now I live in Europe, i’m super happily married, i have a couple of great jobs,  and I’m a wine-free zone. I don’t need much else : ) Think i’ll celebrate 90 days with a nice thick English-language newspaper imported from somewhere (Guardian UK? NYT?), and then on Sunday, when i’m finally done my work week, i’m going to spend an entire afternoon just reading it …

Hugs, me