#DryJuly Day 31 – Continuous Days

Hi there, happy July 31st! Here we are at the end of July and so this seems like a good day to have a look back on where we’ve been, to see if it’s leading to where we want to go. Like, can you ‘get what you want’ by doing what you’ve been doing?

The goal for the #DryJuly is continuous days sober. In the comments below, you can say what is the longest stretch of continuous days you’ve had so far IN JULY.  Maybe your longest sober stretch is 7 days continuously, or you’re on day 31 today for July …

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober for July 2020 (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read your story we feel less alone.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in February” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#100DaySoberChallenge – Continuous Days in February

Hi there, happy valentine’s day. this seems like a good day to have a look back on where we’ve been, to see if it’s leading to where we want to go. Like, can you ‘get what you want’ by doing what you’ve been doing?

The goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments below, you can say what is the longest stretch of continuous days you’ve had so far IN FEBRUARY. Maybe your longest sober stretch is 7 days continuously, or you’re on day 14 today for February …

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober for February 2020 (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january for now.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in February” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#100DaySoberChallenge Day 31- Continuous Days

Hi there, so it’s end of January. Seems like a good day to have a look back on where we’ve been, to see if it’s leading to where we want to go (how’s that for a confusing sentence!).

The goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say what is the longest stretch of continuous days you’ve had in January. Maybe your longest sober stretch was 7 days continuously, or 18, or you’re working on today as the 31st continuous day.

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober for January 2020 (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january for now.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in January” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#100DaySoberChallenge Day 12 – Continuous Days

i wanted to create this check-in space for today. the goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say how many continuous days you’ve had so far since January 1st. Maybe you’ve had 3 days continuously sober, or 8, or you’re working on today as the 12th continuous day?

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober since january 1st (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january up to now.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in January” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#100DaySoberChallenge – Day 2 – Nice to meet you :)

just thought i’d open up this space where we can introduce ourselves. the goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. you can say what day you’re on today, and later i’ll do another post and you can report in your continuous days so far.

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’.

and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, what day you’re on, and WHY you’re doing the #100DaySoberChallenge

ok, i’ll start …

an audio about your mood (and being sober!)

this is an extract from the live show i recorded on monday about managing our MOOD when sober. the full episode is being sent to podcast subscribers today and tomorrow.

from N: “I missed the live show – would love to catch up with it but I’m not currently subscribed to the podcasts. Is this something you might put up as a stand alone purchase?”

me: 🙂 well the live show was 2 hrs long, and so will be split into 3-4 podcasts. it might be cheaper to be a podcast subscriber than get them as singles. a subscription would give you 8-ish audios in a month and the subscription is only $26.21/month versus the stand alone price of $5 each (x 8 = $40) … huglets

update from yesterday’s email
When I sent out the email inviting you to read and stay plugged-in to your sober stuff, here are some of the replies:

  • My sobriety is important. I am important. Doing this one small thing every day keeps me motivated. Some days they help more than others. Some days, I think I am fine and I don’t need any help. But even then, the help never hurts. Other days, I find there is something in your message that turned out to be exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. Thank you for doing what you do, it helps many more than I think you realize.
  • I pledge to open every email from you and click on a link in each email between now and January 2. Because drifting is dumb … I’m going to remember that in terms of my sobriety the only thing that’ll change is my location during the holidays, so I do just the same things while I’m away as I do at home – all my sober supports and treats.
  • I am on day 2 and doing ok … I’m also caregiver to our 33-year-old daughter who has Cerebral Palsy. Stressful, so I’ve been drinking too much. Need to stop for her. Your daily inspiration really helps. Thanks for your unique insight and humor.
  • I will open every email you send with gratitude, from now until Jan 2nd, because it is fucking amazing knowing that someone cares enough about me to send daily emails, with links to sober supports. I will click on the links to those sober supports too, even if I don’t buy anything. Because I want you to know I appreciate you and I appreciate you reaching out to me by emails, I need these emails to remind me that what I’m doing is important.
  • I pledge to not only open but also read every line of every sober email that you send to me between now and January 2nd, 2039. If Belle cares enough to take the time to send them, then Heather will care enough to set up an alert on my phone with a special Belle ringtone alert when an email arrives from you. I will open and read your sober emails, not just preview them on my phone because there is no point in just previewing them, I wouldn’t see the whole encouragement and strength message that may come at just the right moment (this whole just the right message at just the right time thing occurs regularly), but also, by just previewing them, it could possibly be used by my bit of drinking head that still exists as an excuse to put snowshoes on and walk 10 miles to the nearest shop that sells booze. I have purchased 2 gig extra data to do this, as I am spending the season alone (dog is invited) in a log cabin in the mountains of North Wales… no wifi within 25 miles of me. I cannot guarantee a signal, but I will walk a maximum of 2 miles to find one- this is my Christmas effort gift to you. I also pledge to click and see where the mysterious link in each email will lead me to, but I cannot promise I will not buy anything. I want to show you Belle that i’m out there, in between the mountains on one side and the sea on the other side of me, relaxing alone, still sober even when I get mad when I will inevitably understand what I have been missing out on for the last 7 years. I’ll open and read your emails and click a link every day between now and January 2nd 2039. There is no reason whatsoever good enough on this fucking earth that I will happen to not be sober, so I am skipping that part of the pledge..but to make you happy, I will promise you that if for some stupid, made-up, idiotic and most likely death inducing reason i happen to not be sober, i will still open and read your emails to me and click on your link that you made an effort to provide everyday. Because I know that drifting from my sober supports is setting myself up on purpose, giving myself a slightly nudged open door to make up an excuse to drink; and not giving this babygirl the self love she deserves, and therefore, i will need to be engaged more. I owe it to myself first and foremost, and to you because of all of your efforts to try to get me to come to your side of the mountain to at least let you know that I’m still here. Still alive. Still sober.

~

“I have potential when i’m sober”
sober art, thanks to mr.belle
artsober.com


this is an original painting, so there’s only one copy available.
link

Iconic Moms Podcast – What’s Your Vice?

 

I was interviewed for the Iconic Moms podcast on November 23, 2019 by Alex, a very thoughtful. I am happy to be episode #17 on her new-ish show, and I think this interview is a good primer to learning about being sober. As well, I think that Alex is sharing brave things, as you’ll hear in this interview. To listen to other episodes of her show, you can go here.

This full interview will be sent to podcast subscribers.

But I want you to hear the whole audio NOW, even if you’re not a podcast subscriber.

So I’ve loaded the entire audio in the free audio feed (itunes/android).

[ link removed ]

The full audio will be available for 10 days. Go and listen to the first few minutes. Listen in installments. Or get a cup of tea and do it all at once. There’s something in here for you. I’m sure of it.

hugs and happy saturday

 


 

Something New (day 140): “Amazing how fast those magnets sell. I feel like it will be like winning a jackpot when one is available. I want one!!!! I particularly like the ones with the aqua color in them. He must be so happy!”

LARGE magnets
acrylic & ink, handcut card stock
7.5 x 7.5 cm (3″ x 3″)

magnet 276 > link
magnet 277 > link

i am all of these people, all of the time

i have found that writing is a lot like early sobriety. things take longer than we think they will. shit is hard, then it gets easier, then we don’t know what we’re doing, then we figure some things out, and then we make daily, small progress.

I’ve posted some of the writing that i did while i was writing the sober book, some of the backstory and ‘prewrite’ stuff that ‘helped’ me figure out the sober writing thing. Because the parallels with sobriety are huge and many.

July 29, 2015

who are all these voices in my head. it’s like there are a cast of characters. let me introduce them:

Wolfie: “you suck, you won’t finish, you won’t discover anything, you’ll abandon, his book will be better than yours, don’t even bother.” Wolfie likes to make you feel small.

Fiona Fearful: “you’ll find out things you don’t like, you’ll be too afraid to take action.” She’s too nervous to ride the elevator up.

Sally Sunshine: “it’s all about the positive thinking, the difference between where you are now and where you want to go is all about positive thinking.” She likes to visualize.”

Worker Nancy: She puts her head down and gets things done. She rides the bus to work early, ploughs through all the work, very hard working, efficient, no easily flustered. She says: “just work, anywhere, it all needs to be done eventually. so just start here.”

Slothful Sarah: “you can’t make me, i don’t want to use my talents.” She’s a teenager, defiant, over eats, sleeps 12 hrs, plays video games, avoids responsibilities until some external force comes in to say ‘do it now’. she has no plan. That is her plan. to be plan-less.

Adventurous Abby: “let’s go find something new, let’s try different. novel is good. let’s have an adventure. let’s go. let’s see what happens. Ride the ferris wheel. what’s the view from there?” she’s carrying a camera. she’s in search of new.

~

now given these 6 different voices in my head, when i look at my current non-writing situation (and this could be any situation where you want to take action, but aren’t), here’s what I hear my 6 voices saying about the following fact.

~

Fact: I’m not writing, and i want to be.

Wolfie: you’re going to fuck it up if you change anything about your schedule. the business will fail. the book will be shit. you don’t have time to write anyway. don’t change anything or you’ll lose it all.

Fiona Fearful: there’s too much, you’ll never get caught up, there’s a lot to do, you’ll do a bad job and then wish you’d never tried. you will lose your anonymity and wish you’d kept things the same.

Sally Sunshine: look it’s just a matter of sleep + food + exercise + accountability. Your energy will level out and you’ll feel better. when you feel better, it’s easy to do all these things on the to-do list with no angst.

Worker Nancy: let’s get right to it, if you work hard all week you can blast through most of this, a couple of 12 hr days and then boom a bunch is done.

Slothful Sarah: what are you, high? the key is more downtime, more off time. Cancel something, give up all responsibilities, do less, make your life like vacation all the time. go to portugal. This work thing is so un-fun.

Adventurous Abby: this is such a cool process, can’t wait to see what happens next. maybe write in a different coffee shop each day. maybe start 4 projects at once and see which one has wings. maybe it’s time to test a new recipe. what’s novel about today?

~

I am all of these people, all of the time. I shift from one to the other, sometimes mid-sentence. I feel most drawn to Sally + Nancy + Abby. The rest seem like things that drag me down, like they’re all wolfie just with different voices but the goal is the same: to turn away from this goal that you want.  Wolfie says: just give up now.