my first reflex

I wake up in the middle of the night with stiff legs, tossing and turning.  too much running, too many hours on my feet in the kitchen. and i think: Well, here we are. This is sober life. This is real life. There are no blurred edges.  What would my husband do? Would he drink […]

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this is living sober

I’m fine (she says, again). thanks for all of the comments, direct emails, and cyber hugs.  all received and pretty darn helpful. I cried off and on yesterday, from grief, heat, and terrible fatigue, having slept about 4 hrs the night before. I did manage to run yesterday, though, mid-day, mid-sweltering heat, even though i […]

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sadness

i’m fine. i’m obviously going through some temper tantrum things right now. disappointed that the summer is nearly over and i didn’t enjoy it the way i wanted to. disappointed that i feel like i haven’t gotten anything done, that i’ve been obsessing.  and mostly i’m just really tired. i do have to tell you […]

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Dehydrate the wolf

If you can picture booze like a Big Wolf With Black Eyes, he represents the voice in your head.  Now you have to very calmly starve the wolf. Or better yet, you have to dehydrate him by not giving him anything to drink. At first he’ll be mad at you. “Where’s my drink?” You’ll say […]

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