here’s a magic list with super powers. someone asked me what they could do differently this time and I wrote out a list of things that might be helpful for you too. you can pick as many from this list as you can. go for a lot of things rather than just 1 or 2.
- write in a blog or in a journal every day for 30 days, no matter what.
- read sober blogs at least 1 hr a day, every day.
- rethink evening routine and give up making dinner if it’s too much. either make meals in the morning to reheat, or go to easier dinners (pasta and jarred sauce) just for a month.
- email me every 4 hrs (yes really) … morning, noon and night – just to check in on how you’re feeling (only for the first 16 days or so)
- plan your 30 day, 60 day and 90 day treats now. go online to amazon and put them in your shopping cart.
- daily treats for the first 2 weeks, and then treats every two days thereafter.
- sign up for the sober jumpstart class and/or a call with me or talk with someone, some counsellor, therapist, mentor. someone to talk to really makes a HUGE difference.
- go to bed early every night for 7 nights. as early as humanely possible. 8 pm. even if you don’t sleep.
- schedule a bath to occur earlier in the evening so that it sets the mood for the rest of the night. maybe bath first and then dinner.
- change your schedule for when you eat dinner (earlier/later). If you have to feed kids or others earlier, fine, but you can eat at different times – just for a month. schedule something to coincide with wolfie time (like feed kids and then listen to an audio in the tub for half an hour).
- go to an face-to-face meeting (even once a week would be helpful to begin – hire a babysitter or trade babysitting if you need to).
- give up any expectations that you’re going to ‘get stuff done’ and just be sober
- try to do some kind of exercise every day, even if it’s only 10 minutes and it’s done with kids along. the more exercise, the better, but even just walking is good
- rent / stream some new tv, movies, whatever that you can watch only when you’re sober, only as a sober treat. have you seen the new series Transparent? it’s genius.
- pretend, just for awhile, that you’re sick. that you have the flu. and that you need to take good care of you. very very good care. that you come first. just for awhile. just till you get going.
- give up doing the laundry so often
- give up any ideas of a clean and tidy house for now
- talk to your doctor about medication (either anti-booze medication (antabuse), or maybe anti-depressants or whatever else you think might help, anti-anxiety …). if you don’t think you can honestly speak with your current doctor, then go to a clinic and talk to someone else.
- know that crying is totally normal, required, and necessary
- think about what you’re going to GET by being sober. the benefits coming to you. how great it’ll be once this crappy part is over
hugs from me
I need to print and laminate and carry around, this list. Nancykay