when i was about 7 months sober, one month before the 100 day sober challenge was born, i was fairly certain that i was going to “plan to relapse” … It was a crappy day, i had a cold, there was wine everywhere. giving up just seemed like a good idea …
- audio for Prelapse getting huge traffic this week, someone must have shared the link with Oprah
- 2 treat boxes left, then i can make the cookies and mail them out to you
- doing a Passion open call tomorrow (Wednesday) at 3 pm Eastern time, sent info yesterday to the micro-email list, email me if you didn’t get it.
- links: it’s time for me to update the blogroll on the right side of this blog – if you are a Team 100 member and you’re sober blogging, post a link to your blog below in the comments.
Happy Day 50 to Lucie!
Happy Day 100 to Rene1971!
Happy Day 100 to OtherJosh!
Happy Day 100 to My Cousin Susannah!
Happy Day 100 to Missie515153!
Happy Day 100 to Monica!
Happy Day 180 to SaraN!
Happy Day 200 to ldederer!
Happy Day 200 to Nuchter Maya!
Happy Day 200 to JennyP!
Happy Day 200 to Cam!
Happy Day 400 to Beth!
Last year, when i first started doing the email penpal thing, people wanted to say thanks. people were felt awkward. i felt awkward. everyone was awkward. I created the tiny gift button, and once or twice a week some money magically arrives there. Sometimes it’s $2 and sometimes it’s loads more. Sometimes I can’t even tell who sent it.
About 2 weeks ago Jacques recommended a book to me and offered to buy it for me. she sent me cash and i bought the book on amazon here in my local country, where i can get most books in english but shipped from europe so it’s fast.
Then i got peanut butter in the mail! (no kidding!)
Then this week i got another request. and i thought ok, i’ll just put up a tiny list of treats that i will get with the Tiny Gift Button donations, so you know where the funds will go…
the next bit of donations will be used as follows:
Josey Baker Bread: Get Baking – Make Great Bread – Be Happy! (20,94€) thanks R a can of PAM (you won’t believe it, but it’s 9€ a can here, but i can’t make cheesecakes without it)thanks R flowers for my desk (about 7€)– thanks B a freaking hair cut (i have long hair so i put this off forever) (about 45€)thanks G
and if you think this is completely and utterly strange, or if you think i’m full of shit, that’s ok. you can look away. I’m looking away myself as I type …
I recently sent out an email to micro-email subscribers, asking about Boy Sober Bloggers – who are they – why aren’t there more. Here’s some feedback I’ve received from a few men in Team 100, as to why there aren’t many male bloggers, with links to some boy blogs below (annoying alliteration):
Lurking with Intent: “Women tend to be more social for the most part and want to share with others. Men are taught to tough it out. Women are more verbal despite the plethora of males writers; society is stacked against women succeeding. Men like to feel accomplished at something and like to offer fixes; which might not be a good solution for sober blogging. ‘I know what you need to do to be sober, do what I say’ … It’s like when my lovely wife complains about something and I offer her a solution and it is not what she wanted. A woman would empathize with her. If a male friend complains about something, I offer my take or offer a solution and it’s always received well. Men can talk about solutions but probably aren’t as good at warm fuzziness as women are.”
Abrown: “It is a very masculine thing to hang out with you friends and drink, especially beer. Especially younger guys like myself. Most guys think they cannot be one of the guys if they don’t drink … also, maybe how they were brought up, if I did not form my own opinion, and just relied on my father’s ‘real men drink beer’ approach I would never have gotten sober.”
Crispy: “I wonder if there is a higher [desire] to come together and share by women. Comparing notes on life and experience is not something I find many men doing. I do it a lot but mostly with female friends or family. Most of my male friends or colleagues get this kind of blank/disinterested look on their face when I start talking about internal affairs. Maybe culturally men are very task-focused so therefore time for reflection and sharing (which blogging essentially is in many ways) is not deemed necessary. I would argue it’s key to ensuring successful task ‘doing’ though! At 32, I don’t have many peers who are quitting drinking … there’s a pack-mentality that goes on with guys that’s really hard to step out of and requires a lot of courage to do so.
Here’s the beginnings of a boy blogger list. It’s short now. Maybe we can add to it? Send me links for review.
- Paul, Message in a Bottle
- Furtheron, Guitars and Life
- Marius, Trudging Through the Fire
- Dipz, LostnF0und
- Abrown, NoMoreBinge
Happy Day 100 to 365 Reasons!
Happy Day 180 to SignGurl!
Happy Day 300 to JM!
Ticker for today:
day left to enter your photo / art for the the Animal photography assignment, due tomorrow Wednesday
people signed up to do the 100 Day Sober Challenge
small chocolate mousse souffle things in the oven right now
Not Today bracelets speeding their way to me as i type
number of kilometres run today
(so far! FFF, may i add “yet”!)
cups of decaf coffee consumed (no more!)
number of guests for private catered dinner tonight
number of times yesterday’s audio has been listened to
great quotes, emails, and bits i have saved for
future blog posts & micro-emails
pictures from 600 cupcake-o-rama + big cake, sent by the happy client (worry = worthwhile in this case). here’s one of the pictures (they added the blur!):
random bits from my inbox:
JI (day 80): “Sober. Getting close enough to the initial 100 day target that Mr. Canis Lupus has started the ‘ooh, if you wanted to you could have a drink or three once this 100 day thing is done — you worked hard and deserve it and it won’t cause you to go on nightly benders, promise (and oh by the way, your tolerance will be really low so you’ll feel great after just a couple of drinks again!)’ but we know better, don’t we? Silly thing. I think a post-day-100 springtime trip with the family is probably a much nicer target to aim for.”
Thyme: “To quote John Wayne – ‘Life’s hard. It’s harder when you’re stupid.’ I’ve been stupid for way too long when it comes to alcohol. I was almost stupid today. Almost caved. But I didn’t. I wanted to keep writing that I was alcohol free another day. And I was. I’ve already got a run on tomorrow. Yes, thinking only about two days at a time really does work.”
Wanda T: “Someone’s voice is telling me I need to start a rigid diet and exercise program, train for a marathon, lose 20 pounds, go on vacation, write an entire book this month, paint my whole house inside and out, organize a complete budget overhaul, landscape the backyard, etc. etc.”
Shannonluvsdean (day 34): “Thanks for always replying 🙂 Hubby can’t get his head around a real person would spend their own time replying to random people around the world. I guess there are some lovely people out there after all (or maybe I was just to drunk to find them before ) xx”
Happy Day 50 to More To Me Than This!
Happy Day 50 to Masque!
Happy Day 50 to Fich!
Happy Day 50 to Bianca!
Happy Day 100 to KeviKev!
Happy Day 180 to Mo!
Happy Day 200 to Carolyne!
Happy Day 200 to Martha C!
sorry sorry for mentioning my health issues in the last post — i just wanted to make a parallel to sobriety. don’t be worried about me 🙂 i’m being well taken care of by a lovely socialized health care scheme! let me close this by saying that the results of my 24 hour monitoring were not what we hoped, and so now we’re changing my drugs (again) and scheduling another hospital procedure for a month’s time. The doctor actually said to me “you’re not easy.” will this get fixed i ask. yes, he says.
in the meantime i can run, do my job, cater some upcoming meals for tourists passing through town, and make 600 cupcakes for a big party in a few weeks. i’m not unwell. and i did begin planning for our summer trip, but the house we want to rent is only available in august, the dog-hottest weeks of the year for that part of the world (40C hot). so maybe september is looking better after all… will wait and see. have plenty to worry about right in front of me. Stay Here, you might say 🙂
Interestingly, when i got home from the very late cardiologist appt (he saw me on a rush at the end of his day, so it was 10:30 pm by the time i got home), i came home to Mr. B. making supper. we sat the dining room table — hooray — and had a talk about stuff. medical and otherwise.
I said: Honestly, i’m so tired, hungry, and disappointed. I think that wine would be a good idea.
Not really a craving, more of a thought.
Mr. B: “I wouldn’t drink now.”
me: no you probably wouldn’t. you’re nearly at your one-year mark.
Mr. B: “I wouldn’t want you to drink.”
Mr. B: “We used to drink to relax. Now if we drank, we’d just be thinking about everything you would be giving up. Your blog …” And then he says in english: “and all de sober girls.”
So you see, even Mr. B, the man with no real wolfie, knows that being sober is a place you don’t easily turn away from. Fear of regret. Consequences of taking one drink. we’re one drink away from a new day 1. Not Today.
Mr. B. gives me the hairy eyeball.
me: don’t worry about me. i can’t drink. i’m on beta blockers. and I won’t drink anyway. I’ve got too much to lose.
Happy Day 50 to Mel P!
Happy Day 50 to Erin Marie!
Happy Day 100 to Jz!
Happy Day 100 to TheFace!
Happy Day 100 to Wanting to be a Sober Mom!
Happy Day 100 to Gail!
Happy Day 180 to Cat Girl!
Happy Day 180 to Julieanne!
Happy Day 200 to Nic!
Happy Day 200 to Jules!
Happy Day 200 to DianeLouise!
Happy Day 300 to Sara St!
from my inbox:
Jano (day 48): “Happy Valentines Day Belle and to all the Belle-ettes, Belle-arinas, Belle-anistas, Belle-zoids, Belle-hearts, Belle-isimas, Belle-adonnas, Belle-astics, Belle-ificents, and abundantly Belle-fuls. Our precious, precious lives…. can you believe how lucky we are to have found each other? Big love, Jano.”
Primrose (day 103): “Dear lovely Belle, any thing I say here will be inadequate to express how grateful I am to you for Team 100 and your support. I really couldn’t be more thankful if you had seen me, a total stranger, drowning in a swiftly flowing river, and thrown me a lifeline and pulled me out. Because that is what you have done. You are a lifeline, Belle.
You are also a cheerleader, an entertainer, and someone who is quite prepared to administer a good kick in the pants when required. Just you being there to email is a huge, huge thing.
Specifically, I was enormously grateful when I emailed you in distress over the holidays … Also, I am really enjoying the podcasts. I didn’t subscribe to them at first because I wanted to leave something in reserve as an extra tool if I needed it. However I am finding if I listen to the older ones again after some period of time I always pick up something new from it, because I am at a different stage in my sobriety by then. You have accompanied me on many car journeys and I must tell you that I always say “Bye!!!” back to you at the end of each podcast 🙂
I have decided that the best way I can thank you for all the support and inspiration is to stay sober. So that is what I’m going to do.
Thank you, dear Belle, from the bottom of my heart. Primrose xxx”
Erinup (day 222): “I hope today you are able to appreciate all of the love that is being sent your way. You have touched the lives of thousands of people. There are  people that have committed to your challenge but in addition to those people there are thousands more that read and are inspired by what you are doing and sharing. You have created a community. You have filled a void. You created something good and powerful and meaningful. This is truly an amazing thing you have done. I know that without you and this challenge I would likely have faltered especially early on in the process. I am in your debt.
I also hope today you are able to sit back and enjoy your sobriety. I hope you take some quiet time to appreciate the life you are building without alcohol and the clarity you have in your business and personal relationships. I know not everything is unicorns and rainbows, but the worst day sober is better than the best day of drinking or being hungover. If I were with you today I would give you a hug and tell you how wonderful you are and then I would cut the cake that someone else made for you!
Enjoy enjoy enjoy! I raise my dessert fork to you today! Erinup.”