Category: original art

reindeer, snoopy, donuts

Belle Leave a comment

i will continue to share stories of simple gifts, simple kindness, and simple holidays so long as my inbox continues to look like this …

Ma: “Hello Belle, I heard about you from Catherine Gray’s book, she said she found great solace from you and your writing and I can see why. My best Christmas memory is of me putting my four year old daughter to bed and Mum pretending to be a reindeer outside, some bells and snorting, my daughter was delighted that the reindeer had come.”

Pa: “We were a family of  five back in 1963. We didn’t have a ton of money … and never spent money on elaborate decorations for the home. We just had some simple old coloured lights and one green flood light. Back in the olden days, the flood lights seamed to last forever, you would plug it in and without fail it beamed bright year after year. In those days we could always count on another thing too: tons and tons of snow. One year I got a super idea to create a subject for the flood light, on our front lawn. So I worked tirelessly with my wet mittens at sculpting a simple Snoopy, then the next year I took things up a notch and created Frosty the Snowman holding ET’s hand and pointing up at the night sky. I had even got out my water colour paints to glorify the sculpture. It became a big hit. Many cars would creep slowly by our home or even stop for a while so they could get a good look at the characters in the spot light. It made people smile. And that is what Christmas is all about to me, it’s in the heart. The little things…”

We: “One year when my children were their early teens, we celebrated the solstice with a candle lit walk with friends in their woods. there was snow that year and we had a beautiful walk with fresh home made donuts after. We have continued the tradition of gathering for the solstice (with donuts), but that was the only year there was deep snow and a trek through the woods (my girls are now 28 and 26 and it is still a simple celebration that we all look forward to (I don’t make the donuts, friend does!)” [me: now i’m craving donuts, am i right?]

~

 

mr.belle has painted some cardstock that he’d usually use for magnets. but he’s done them on the diagonal, and double-sided! and with a little hole punched in the top, and some hemp cord, we have a christmas ornament (perhaps) or you can hang it from your cork board, or your car’s rearview mirror…

 

link > www.artsober.com

front

 

back

 

link > www.artsober.com

motivation is hard to find in a pandemic

Belle 2 Comments

first i want to say thanks. for all of the things. for being here, opening emails, listening to audios.

we’ve been going through a weird time, haven’t we? today is day 55 of full lockdown for paris, and we have 3 more days to go until the duck pond, a walk outside the neighbourhood, and being able to open the front door without paperwork to prove where we’re going.

during this weird time, you have struggled with pressures, you’ve had more than your share of anxiety, and in some cases you’ve seen illness and death first-hand (covid, suicide, alcohol-related, in-laws).

every morning i get up and i check my email to see how you’re doing. to see if you got the treat you said you were going to (take-out quiche!), or if you made the virgin lime drink for may 5th, or ordered the candle.

i have to say that after the first week or so, my inbox has settled down remarkably well. there were some large moments of ‘what the fuck’ (yeah, me too!), but we are a resilient bunch. we show up. we are learning to experience emotions in real time.

With all of the opportunities you have had to unsubscribe from sober support (who’s got time for self-care during a pandemic!, you might ask), you did NOT unsubscribe. you’re here.

it’s been so great to see the lovely and continued support for the sober art that i share in the daily emails. i haven’t talked much about how mr.belle has been dealing with the confinement as it’s not my story to tell. he’s a bit more nervous about health things than i am, and has really been missing his concerts and seeing his ‘concert friends’ (he’s usually out 4 nights a week). his motivation, to begin, wasn’t great. go to work every day, come home, go to bed.

and then the paintings started to sell again. we’ve been selling on average one painting per day. isn’t that amazing?

he paints and shows me what he’s done and i pick the ones i like. i photograph, upload, edit, and create the button to purchase. you open the emails, click the links, pick the paintings that want. then he varnishes them.

over time we run out of canvases, and then run out of frames. he’s out of white paint. then black. And then the complete tragedy of running out of cardboard for shipping because the fridge store is closed. We order more canvases, more frames, and we break down and BUY cardboard for shipping 🙂

and still the paintings are going out, one per day. we ran out of regular paintings, and so i posted other framed ones, like the lemon one, or the starbucks ones, and they sold. he produces a set of 10 journals with painted covers, and i’m in the process of posting those.

every day he makes a box, or paints something, and goes up and down the stairs to the studio. every day even weekends.

every day we talk about what to do first (this one has been waiting longer, so it should be varnished first, this one is in oil so will take 4 weeks to dry). i know that art doesn’t make up for missing concerts, but let me tell you, it’s close! it’s art at home 🙂

so when i show up every day, and you ask how i’m doing, and you’re worried about me, you have no idea how ‘good’ things are for me. for us. really. Paris is fully locked-down, more than most places. and we’re fine. i’m emailing and editing audios and making lime cheesecake (that was today’s project). today he made 4 boxes (at 45 minutes each), then i printed the courier labels, then he went to the post office and waited in line for an hour to hand them over (they were prepaid, that’s just how long the line takes to advance in the line). then he came home and went back upstairs to continue.

motivation is hard to find in a pandemic. sleep is erratic. concentration is fractured. our brains are busy processing even when our bodies are still. it’s tiring 🙂

and every single day you show up and support us. and i just want you to know that it doesn’t go unnoticed 😉

i’m happy to be here, doing this. supporting you. you supporting us. anyway, just wanted to say thanks and now i’ve written a book!

many many hugs from me (and him). the non-contagious kind. the best kind.
love, me

~

this is #614

if booze is an elevator that only goes down, then you want to exit; now would be a good time

Particulars: Acrylic & ink on paper. Dimensions: 30 x 42 cm (11.75″ x 16.75″) – this is standard sized A3 paper and will fit in an A3 frame from amazon.com

Shipping: Mailed flat with 3 sheets of stiff cardboard (carton) so that it doesn’t bend in the mail. Mailed direct to you from France.

Original or print? Original paintings, so there is only ONE available.

link to this painting > https://gumroad.com/l/exit-614

from me: You’re trying to contain something uncontainable

Belle 2 Comments
from me:

I’m going to say some things that you know are true, but that you have perhaps not thought about in this exact way.

The problem with the moderation thinking is: If we could do it, we’d already be doing it. We wouldn’t be here reading this.
I wouldn’t have quit drinking at all, frankly, if I’d have been able to drink only at Easter and Christmas and special occasions, or only on weekends, or whatever the rules.

You may not have called it moderation.

You might email me and say, “But Belle, I never tried moderation. Maybe I should go try that now, I’ll be right back …”

And I’ll say, “That’s what you’ve been trying. You just didn’t CALL it moderation.” If you are alternating drinks with water, trying to slow down — if you make rules with yourself (only on Thursdays, only on Fridays, only on special occasions) …

this means that you’re trying to contain it.

You’re trying to contain something uncontainable.

“Maybe if I only drink bad alcohol, then I won’t crave it as much. Maybe if I only buy expensive stuff.”

You’ve tried this.

I tried this.

I remember once I bought a case of wine, mistakingly thinking that if there was more around, then I wouldn’t obsess about it. I thought my obsession about ‘running out’ was about quantity. I didn’t realize that it had to do with wanting to drink in every available moment, from the second I was ‘allowed’ to drink (when was I allowed? well, at wine-o-clock, some days it was 6 pm, or 8 pm, or when on vacation or Christmas morning it could be 10 am) – I was waiting to drink. And I was always trying to make rules on how to navigate all that.

Exhausting.

 

[this is extracted from lesson 2 of the 5-part Exit → Exist audio series, you know: Exit the booze elevator so you can Exist.
all you have to do is sign up and you’ll get the first audio right away.
thanks to donations, three-quarters of the price has been covered for you, so this series of audios is $10 US. one payment. not recurring. nothing weird. just 5 audios for you.
yes, that’s my voice. you’ll hear me — talking directly to you.
Sign up here.]

~

One New Journal Each Day for 10 Days

Journal 6

​spiral journal, 100 pages/50 sheets
6″ x 8.5″ (14,8 x 21 cm)
​front cover hand-painted in acrylic
mailed in a padded envelope from France

​Available at auction > www.artsober.com

~

for you. because you like to write. you take notes. you keep a journal of your sober thoughts (ha!). or maybe you keep a gardening journal, and that’s how you know that this year the tulips are early.

every day for 10 days i’m going to post a new journal, each with a distinctly different cover, different colours, all hand-made, one of a kind.

each journal will start out with an opening bid of $5 and will be open for bidding for 2 days only. short bid. you have to watch what’s happening 🙂

like this one above

the journals are proudly being shown on Daily Paintworks (thanks to them for sponsoring this auction!).

opening bid is $5. you can go and have a look here > www.artsober.com

hugs from me & him

“I lower my expectations to match the amount of alcohol I drink”

Belle 2 Comments
from my inbox:

R: “Hi Belle, listening to the first audio lesson [in the Exit → Exist lessons] and I was just blown away. It was like you were speaking directly to me. You always say ‘you’re not alone’ but listening to this really made it sink in that I’m not the only one! There are other people out there sitting on the sidelines wishing they could do this sober thing too, watching, lurking, listening. I wish I could be happy sitting on the sidelines but I’m not happy there/here. Then in the second lesson, explaining how I lower my expectations to match the amount of alcohol and that I can’t count on myself and I’m always letting myself down — wow just wow. Thank you for this. I’m on day 6 today.”

C:
“Hi Belle — I just listened to this and was gobsmacked at how your drinking experience matches mine: needing more wine in the house, not making plans because it cuts into drinking time, expecting a ‘bottom’ that will be the thing to make me stop. It was like you’ve been living with me. I was relieved to hear that these patterns, expectations, etc. are common and that I’m not alone. I feel like I can approach getting sober with less self-blame, beating myself up, etc. This was all news to me so thank you, thank you, thank you!”

R2: “Read that is is a noreply email so I’m going to see if it doesn’t go through before I begin … OK then, well I must say I am impressed. I like very much what you say and how you say it. Your voice is soothing and confident as well. No bullshit, you get to the point, you are clearly well versed in what you speak about. Thank and well done my dear. Seriously. While I am far from new, I am new to this kind of internet support thing. I used to live in the US, ride my motorcycle up and down hills wearing Italian heels but now I’m older and overseas … I only mention me to indicate that I have been around a while and believe I know quality when I see or hear it. Thank you again I think you are doing a seriously important work, but then you already know that.”

~

from me:
i have a 5-part Exit → Exist audio series, you know: Exit the booze elevator so you can Exist. all you have to do is sign up and you’ll get the first audio right away.

thanks to donations, three-quarters of the price has been covered for you, so this series of audios is $10 US. one payment. not recurring. nothing weird. just 5 audios for you. yes, that’s my voice. you’ll hear me — talking directly to you.

Sign up here.

In these audios, I will talk about getting started, how to THINK about the idea of quitting drinking, advice on tools and supports, and we’ll talk about how to get ready to begin.

If booze is an elevator that only goes down, it’s time to find the exit.

Exit → Exist [audios for lurkers, sober-curious, not sure sobriety is for you] > Sign up here.

huglets from me.me

~

One New Journal Each Day for 10 Days

Journal 4

​spiral journal, 100 pages/50 sheets
6″ x 8.5″ (14,8 x 21 cm)
​front cover hand-painted in acrylic
mailed in a padded envelope from France

​Available at auction > www.artsober.com

~

for you. because you like to write. you take notes. you keep a journal of your sober thoughts (ha!). or maybe you keep a gardening journal, and that’s how you know that this year the tulips are early.

every day for 10 days i’m going to post a new journal, each with a distinctly different cover, different colours, all hand-made, one of a kind.

each journal will start out with an opening bid of $5 and will be open for bidding for 2 days only. short bid. you have to watch what’s happening 🙂

like this one, below.

the journals are proudly being shown on Daily Paintworks (thanks to them for sponsoring this auction!).

opening bid is $5. you can go and have a look here > www.artsober.com

hugs from me & him

do the things whether i want to or not …

Belle 1 Comment

from me: we got news of our confinement ‘easing’ beginning on May 11th. groups of 10 allowed, parks-reopened (!), can go up to 100km from home without paperwork, can run day and night. kids back to school in groups of 10. shops reopened with social distancing in place. no concerts, theatres, restaurants until june 2nd at the earliest (before they were saying mid-july). i can tell that already they’re not checking our paperwork anymore, and while the duck pond is ‘closed’ there’s no one enforcing it. i’ll be there on may 11th, that’s for sure. hope i didn’t miss all of the lilacs. i feel ok about the easing as of today. we’ve had lower ICU numbers every single day since our high of april 7 (22 days). by the time we reopen it’ll be 35+ days of downward numbers.

we also had our first shipment of art supplies come by mail, and mr.belle got 6 blank canvases (with plans for 4 ‘mountain’ paintings and & 2 ‘lake to sky’ paintings). the second mountain painting is at the bottom of this post.

and yesterday i made praline (nuts and caramel that you then pulverize into a chunky powder). the first time failed miserably, the sugar gathered in large crystallized clumps, all the good nuts straight into the garbage. the second batch was lovely, with dark brown runny caramel and bright green pistachios.

what changed?
i tried different …

   

 

~
from me: sometimes when someone is having a hard time getting going after a relapse, i’ll suggest an ‘intervention’ of sorts, with a couple of calls a week, and audios and homework, until they get rolling. I got this email from EMW a few days ago:
~

EMW (day 8): “Well I can’t believe it. I added tools and did them whether I wanted to or not, and here I am on day 8. I have a 1 pm AA phone mtg scheduled today, 5 podcasts to listen to, and I’ll email you 4 times. And I have Jason Vale’s book which I love to read for motivation as well. I will email you later and hope you have a great day!…”

me: well you know, I think we need to put this on a poster 🙂 I did the things, whether I wanted to or not, and now I’m on day 8 🙂 this is lovely! hoo-fucking-ray for YOU.

[and now she’s on day 11 today]

~
we received some blank canvases in a special delivery on Saturday. only a few though! so mr.belle went right back to work and made this one on monday and it was dry enough on tuesday to add the word when he came down for his lunch break (roast beef and salad from the take-out deli across the street, our first take-out meal in 7 weeks)…]

Here 10. mountain painting

Here 10.
canvas itself is 30 x 30 cm (12″ x 12″)
acrylic on wrapped canvas, varnished, edges of the canvas are painted black
Wood frame is African ayous (hardwood), pale straw colour.

Free shipping included.

Available with or without frame
link here > www.artsober.com

Shipping
This painting is dry and ready to ship. You’ll get an email when your painting is in the mail.

hugs from me & him

~

here’s how the original story unfolded:

me to him: “what are you doing upstairs in that studio?”
“just experimenting with things.”
“what sort of things?”
“mountains.”
“on paper?”
“on canvas.”

he shows me the painting below. “wowie,” i say. “this is something new. you travel over the mountains. there are more mountains coming, perhaps. you have stay here. stay in the now. do today. The way you get ‘there’ is to do here. The changes start from here. From today.”

he smiles, and says “ok, but what word do you want then?”
me: “here.”
“stay here?”
“no, just ‘here’ – and it should be in lowercase. and kind of pale, to blend in a little with the background.”

~

and so we have this new mountain painting with ‘here’ on it 🙂

it’s like one of those maps in the park?
You are HERE. 

and what you do from here forward changes everything. 

I Suggest That You Delete Every Second Message of Mine, Without Reading It …

Belle Leave a comment

from my inbox:

Lars (day 297): “Much like quitting drinking, I can’t look at the entire future [to do with changing jobs], I have to just do it one day at a time. Yes to external motivation! I tend to get lost with my own goals, but I am trying to be more organized in this sense. I like to think of it as if I’m creating a school for myself, and each day I need to spend x amount of time doing x,y,z. Of course there are off days, but getting into the habit of spending x amount of time each day learning, working, or being inspired seems paramount. My goal is to be out of job #1 within a year. There, external motivation! I’ve said this before, though, much like quitting drinking. 😉  I do think that goal of a year is possible, especially if I stick to my goal of doing shit 5 out of 7 days a week. I CAN DO THIS!!! And I get so excited thinking about all the doors that will open once I decide to take a chance on myself.”

me: yes, there is no future (!) 🙂 there is just today. stay here. there are just the actions we take today. if your goal is to be out in a year, then what 15 minute progress can you make towards that today? then you do it again tomorrow. not hours and hours a day, but bits. and sometimes you’ll feel inspired and do more, and if you just do 15 minutes that’s enough. keep incrementally advancing towards the thing.

Lars: “Thank you, Belle. I’m saving this. Going to scribble it down. Read it. Remember it. It’s lumped into the Shit Belle Says, and it’s so true and yet so easily forgotten.” [update: she’s on day 472 today]

~

J: “Hi! Love you and our story shares but I’d like to receive an email only about 1-2x per week and right now I’m receiving two per day or so I didn’t want to hit unsubscribe because that is entirely what I want. I was hoping when it said *email preferences* that it would give me the option to chose; hence I chose to write you instead. thank you again.”

me: hi there, the only thing I can suggest is that you just delete every second message. Without reading it. I have some subscribers who press refresh waiting for new messages. I generally limit to two emails a day, but in times when things are stressful like now, it could be more. If it’s not for you, I’d just delete some of the messages. Of course then you might miss a lovely bit of support 🙂 hugs from me

 

i like this one. i say that often, i know, but i really like this one 🙂

[update: we received some blank canvases in a special delivery on Saturday. only a few though! so mr.belle went right back to work and made this one yesterday and it was dry enough to add the word when he came down for his lunch break (roast beef and salad from the take-out deli across the street, our first take-out meal in 7 weeks)…]

Here 10. mountain painting

Here 10.
canvas itself is 30 x 30 cm (12″ x 12″)
acrylic on wrapped canvas, varnished, edges of the canvas are painted black
Wood frame is African ayous (hardwood), pale straw colour.

Free shipping included.

Available with or without frame
link here > www.artsober.com

Shipping
This painting is dry and ready to ship. You’ll get an email when your painting is in the mail.

hugs from me & him

~

here’s how the original story unfolded:

me to him: “what are you doing upstairs in that studio?”
“just experimenting with things.”
“what sort of things?”
“mountains.”
“on paper?”
“on canvas.”

he shows me the painting below. “wowie,” i say. “this is something new. you travel over the mountains. there are more mountains coming, perhaps. you have stay here. stay in the now. do today. The way you get ‘there’ is to do here. The changes start from here. From today.”

he smiles, and says “ok, but what word do you want then?”
me: “here.”
“stay here?”
“no, just ‘here’ – and it should be in lowercase. and kind of pale, to blend in a little with the background.”

~

and so we have this new mountain painting with ‘here’ on it 🙂

it’s like one of those maps in the park?
You are HERE. 

and what you do from here forward changes everything. 

are you working full-time this week?

Belle Leave a comment

from me:

What’s happening in the news doesn’t change what I have to do today, which is: be safe, protect my family, protect myself, protect my mental health, be sober, stay calm.

Because really, no matter what’s happening, running away with anxiety feelings won’t serve me. And it certainly won’t make me better able to do my job.

There are a lot of people in this economic world, right this minute, who aren’t working (aren’t able to work, teachers who’ve been sent home, restaurant workers who’ve been sent home, FedEx delivery people who’ve been sent home, all the staff at the Gap is on furlough) …

But a smaller percentage of us are working through this time, including while trying to homeschool kids (like still doing a 10 hr day where you’re in charge of staff, making decisions about who’s being laid off and who’s being furloughed, in addition to homeschooling your 7-year-old).

I have many healthcare workers in my inbox, who work on the front-line, and are going to work every day. I have nurses, I have a radiology tech who is continuing to read scans. I have a guy who does financial planning and is assisting companies as they decide what aspects of their businesses to shut down, I think he’s doing that with 10 companies at the same time when normally maybe only one company a year might have a crisis. (I think he said he had 16 out of 20 companies that were in crisis.) So he’s working 14 hr days.

I’m also working between 4 and 10 hrs, depending on the day. Certainly in the very beginning (3 weeks ago), that my energy was so unpredictable. I was fine, then I was exhausted, then I was sleeping a lot, and then I was fine, and then I was exhausted, and then I was sleeping a lot…

[we do what we need to do. those of us who are working now have different strategies perhaps. one of mine is ‘no news’ … if you’re working full-time this week, what is one of your ‘keep your head attached’ strategies?]

~

This text above was typed out by me, based on the april 1st facebook live update from the duck pond. if you’d like to watch this video, you can go here. you don’t need to log in to facebook or ‘like’ the video to watch it.]

~

this is a close-up of painting “Day After Day 2”
link here > www.artsober.com

Drinking is incongruent behaviour

Belle Leave a comment

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #215. I did a personalized audio for a subscriber about fear, defensiveness, rationalizations. And it’s also about the incongruent idea of drinking — how having alcohol in your life wouldn’t match up with what you say, and who you say you are. You can listen to this clip from the audio, and then send me a comment.

If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download link at the bottom of this message.

Question: In what way is drinking incongruent with who you say you are?

Download / Purchase the entire podcast episode ($4.99)
Sign up for the podcast membership (1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

 

 

~

This is one of the first paintings Mr.Belle did, back before i started putting them on the site. this is a RARE example of early work … Exit the situation. If booze is an elevator that only goes down, then you EXIT. Now would be a good time. You were looking for a sign? Here’s your sign.… 

new painting posted
this is #614: Exit
link here > www.artsober.com

thanks for your support, it means so much! at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …

see this new painting here > www.artsober.com

~ hugs from me (and him)

 

 

f*ck this boring sober sh*t …

Belle Leave a comment

email from A: “Hello Belle, the arguments and rationalisations that Wolfie comes up with are nuts! I’ve made a list of Wolfie’s repertoire of tricks. And each time Wolfie pipes up, I can quickly identify which trick he’s trying to pull, and call him out!

  • Romanticisation (it’s soo nice and cosy and glamorous and comforting to have a lovely glass of red/white/beer/etc)
  • Minimisation (I’m not that bad, I haven’t crashed a car, my husband still loves me, I can handle my addiction)
  • Bargaining (just one drink; if I treat myself to a relapse today I can get back on the horse tomorrow, etc.)
  • Defeatism (I’m no good at this sober thing, I might as well drink because I’m going to fail eventually anyway, I’m hopeless, etc.)
  • Rebellion (fuck this boring sober shit, wohoo, I’m a shit-hot rebel and I’m going to defy all the insipid vanilla crap my sober self is telling me to do, because who gives a fuck!)
  • Impersonation (this is when Wolfie pretends that he is me, that his voice is actually MY OWN voice, and he does his level best to convince me that what I really, truly, absolutely want is to drink no matter what my sober self is telling me).”

~

[have you heard some of the wolfie voices lately?]

 

~

Grace when times are hard. Kindness to yourself and others. Taking care of you.

new painting posted
this is #607: Grace
link here > www.artsober.com

thanks so much for your support 😉 at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …

see this new painting here > www.artsober.com

~ hugs from me (and him)

 

we’re used to taking care of ourselves

Belle Leave a comment

email from apprentice dale: “There is something zen about letting go, just accepting that instead of the busiest month we’ve ever had at work, this May will likely be income-less … [and that by being closed], we can say that during this time we did our best and we did our part.
I was thinking today that sober people are well prepared for situations like this. We’re used to staying home while people go out to bars late at night. We’re used to dealing with uncomfortable feelings and letting them pass.  We’re used to telling ourselves to stay in the present and not make ourselves crazy thinking about a future that isn’t here yet.  We’re used to the idea that we will feel differently in 2, 10, 30 days than we do from today. We’re used to distinguishing between the shit we can change and the shit that we can’t. We’re used to taking care of ourselves no matter what is going on around us. I’ve been wondering why I’ve been feeling more zen when so many people whose lives will be less impacted than mine are freaking out — and I think it’s because I’ve been training for this for a while now, I just didn’t know it :)”

 

~

Grace when times are hard. Kindness to yourself and others. Taking care of you.

new painting posted
this is #602: Grace
link here > www.artsober.com

thanks so much for your support 😉 at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …

see this new painting here > www.artsober.com

~ hugs from me (and him)