Audio: Saving the 12-year-old

i was in a hotel room, hanging out, reading about writing fiction, and in the book there was this question about what is your WHY.

now, generally i hate these questions.

but i started thinking about it in terms of 'why do i do this sober work' ... or more specifically, why have i been doing this sober stuff for 10 years (soberversary coming in 19 days!).

and WOW does this audio get deep!

the why.

the REAL why.

And in this audio I tell you the story of the 12-year-old.

[ link removed ]

Sober Podcast 482. Saving the 12-year-old

To download the entire audio, you can use the link below.


Sign up for the podcast subscription and get this episode as your first audio.
(1-2 new full-length audios each week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)

Audio: Can you make the euphoric feeling of early sobriety KEEP GOING?

When the newness of being newly sober WEARS OFF OVER TIME, then can gratitude help you feel better?

What is the difference between GRATITUDE and REFRAMING?

This is the subject of a brand new podcast (episode 449) going out today to podcast subscribers.

[ link has been removed ]

Sober Podcast 449. Can you make the euphoric feeling of early sobriety keep going?

To download the entire audio, you can use the link below.

Download SP449. Can you make the euphoric feeling of early sobriety keep going?

Sign up for the podcast membership
(1-2 new full-length audios each week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)

Do your relationships change when you’re sober? {Audio}

​Hopeful62 is worried that her relationship with her husband will change if she is longer-term sober. She ​emailed me about having defined roles in a relationship, and ​how being sober might changes things (presumably in a bad way).

So my reply? Well it includes a bit of: What if the changes are positive? What if we evolve into a better version of ourselves? Slightly less irritated, slightly less anxious. You may have better boundaries and speak up for yourself more. These aren’t bad things 🙂

And then I say this quote, but you'll have to listen to the audio to find out why... “I don’t give a shit for a millisecond what my husband thinks of croissants.”

Related Links:

  • SP45 Here’s What I Need From You > www.gum.co/sp045 
  • Mini-Course: How to Quit Drinking When Your Husband Still Drinks > link


​This audio link has been removed. 

If you are a podcast subscriber on or before February 15th, you'll get this audio in your podcast library. hugs, belle xo

sign up to be a podcast subscriber here​.


This link has been removed. If you are a podcast subscriber on or before February 15th, you'll get this audio in your podcast library. hugs, belle xo

Sober Podcast 412. ​Do Our Relationships Change When We're Sober?

You can ​leave a comment below, anonymous is fine. ​You can tell me if you heard anything new ​... ​

Sign up for the ​podcast ​subscription
(1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)

Drinking is incongruent behaviour

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #215. I did a personalized audio for a subscriber about fear, defensiveness, rationalizations. And it’s also about the incongruent idea of drinking — how having alcohol in your life wouldn’t match up with what you say, and who you say you are. You can listen to this clip from the audio, and then send me a comment.

If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download link at the bottom of this message.

Question: In what way is drinking incongruent with who you say you are?

Download / Purchase the entire podcast episode ($4.99)
Sign up for the podcast membership (1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

 

 

~

This is one of the first paintings Mr.Belle did, back before i started putting them on the site. this is a RARE example of early work … Exit the situation. If booze is an elevator that only goes down, then you EXIT. Now would be a good time. You were looking for a sign? Here’s your sign.… 

new painting posted
this is #614: Exit
link here > www.artsober.com

thanks for your support, it means so much! at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …

see this new painting here > www.artsober.com

~ hugs from me (and him)

 

 

omm356.Eliminate

so if you’re feeling wacky and wound up, especially in times like this, then what can you ELIMINATE that’ll make you feel better? alcohol, for sure, but what else? i share some suggestions in this one-minute message.

you can listen below. nothing to download. just press play 🙂

hugs from me xo

sunday audio. something has to change

this week’s sunday audio is about changing things to get different results. imagine you were cold and wanted to get warm. would you remove the blankets that you already have, or would you add new blankets—new layers of supports?  being sober is just like this. adding layers of things to get new outcomes. in this audio i talk about something i read this week by Sean McCabe on the subject of habits and outcomes, and how it maps exactly to how we can change our approach to being sober.

show notes:

  • the blog post about habits by Sean McCabe (seanwes). link here
  • the music, “Ibiza Dream,” thanks to Chris Haugen. link here
  • the photo for ‘adding blankets of support’ thanks to The Bees. link here
  • the unedited version of today’s audio, where i talk about ‘across the pond’, my plans for an extended rant, and the idea of naming these audios ‘clutch/fart’ will be sent in its entirety to podcast subscribers. link here

~

 

original art, thanks to mr.belle
you have potential when you’re sober
this is a close-up of painting #589
click link here

“No Mom, not now”

From ladybug11:

“My parents being here is always a major issue for me … rest and self care go out the window. My parents have no boundaries with me and impossible standards. I clean my entire house a week before they arrive and it’s still not good enough for them. They are constantly going from 7 am to 10 pm. Errands, paperwork, cleaning chores, household projects, nonstop. If I tell them I don’t feel well and want to rest, they will either accuse me of not being sober or will tell me to ‘go rest for an hour’ and then come into my bedroom every 5 mins asking me to help them with something that ‘cannot wait’ like finding old tax records or asking me to check if the dishwasher always makes that noise, or show them where my duct tape or mustard seeds or whatever fucking random weird thing they need for their project is … What should I do? I feel trapped. Audio ideas?”

me: it does sounds like a lot of pressure. you may have to be very firm with your mom … if you feel like she’s not giving you space, and interrupting you even when you’re in the bathroom (!), then you’ll have to be firmer. ‘No Mom, not now. No Mom, not now’ — as if she is 5 years old, and you would just repeat the same phrase, without being angry. By the third time she asks and you repeat it again, she’ll get it, but you might have to say NO three times in a row before she hears you.

and how about these audios [i can make up a bundle too]:

  • SP103 – Boundaries (i’m doing this to take care of ME, you say. i’m learning how to say no)
  • SP163 – Good Boundaries (we care so much that other people like us, that we don’t care if we like ourselves …)
  • SP169 – Interview Practise 1 (how to maintain boundaries, why do we over-drink (is it family history?)
  • SP211 – The Sprinkler (how to avoid dealing with someone (or some situation) that is making you feel nutty)

~

  • a 2-minute clip from SP187 – Take Care of You (this is not the whole podcast, just an extract) – what does it mean to ‘take care of yourself’?
  • OMM020 Boundaries: there are toxic people around you, there is shit-pouring. you need an umbrella. how do you get one?

 

bored

this is an extract from the longer sober podcast “Episode 218: Bored.” Someone asked me to talk about what boredom in sobriety means, and what to do with your time. Like, how do you deal with having an empty evening?

 

  • Get more one minute messages on iTunes (apple podcasts) > link
  • Get more audios on Stitcher > link
  • or search for ‘Belle Sober Message’ on whatever podcast platform you use
  • Get the full audio for the Bored podcast episode #218 here > link ($4.99)

~

painting 732

if booze is an elevator that only goes down, then you look for the exit. and you get off, and stay off. and in some parts of the world, the signage is different. it doesn’t say ‘exit’ – it says ‘way out’ …
link > www.artsober.com


link > www.artsober.com

The 3 Things You Need to Know {Audio}

There are three main messages that I repeat often with penpals: about being alone, about being broken, and the wolfie voice.

In this audio, I go into detail on each one.

This podcast (episode 346) was previously sent to podcast subscribers.

This was recorded December 30, 2019 in anticipation of New Year’s Day...

You’ll want to take some time right now and have a listen. Split it into sections if you need to. Do this now.

I'll leave the link available until Friday January 6th @ 12 noon ET.

Sober Podcast 346. The 3 Things You Need to Know

To download the entire audio, you can use the link below.

Link to purchase episode #346 ($1)

Sign up to get all the new podcasts as they are released ($26/mo.)
(1-2 new full-length audios each week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)

new painting posted
there is NO auction
and the new payment processor seems to be working well (hooray). and should hopefully be faster/easier than ever before (!).
link > www.artsober.com