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i think my moderation button is fixed

sometimes when penpals finish 180 days sober, i suggest that they extend and write a new pledge to go to day 365. here’s what Beach_Gurl sent:

“I’ve done 180 days! I’m ready for more! I love the way I feel sober and I know it will only get better!
Wolfie is mostly quiet these days but I know if he lurks I need to reach out -immediately!
I vow to not drink one fucking drop between now and my one year soberversary!
I will not have a FUCK IT moment!

I will not drink even if:
I am happy and want to celebrate
I am sad because I miss my girls or my mom.
I just want a little buzz.
I want to escape with wine with my husband sitting on our deck.
I think my moderation button is fixed—- because it FUCKING ISNT!
Wolfie shows his bastard self.
I’m feeling sorry for myself because I’m injured.
I have a terrible day teaching (there are many)!
Think I’m missing all the fun.

Instead I will:
Celebrate by playing some upbeat music and dance around singing off key!
Cry and feel my grief for my mom or skype with my girls.
Exercise and get an endorphin high.
Call the fix-it shop and tell them, don’t bother fixing it, I won’t be needing my moderation button.
Kick wolfie wine bastard in the balls and tell him to fuck off! I’m in control, not him.
Look around and see others worse off than me. Quit whining and do abs.
Vent for 5 minutes to my husband about the rude disrespectful students, then forget about it!
Remember my sister in law making an ass out of herself and witnessing her self hatred.
I will not drink, no matter what!
I want to see what happens next! I CAN DO THIS!!!”

~


this is exit 479, a new montreal painting just completed yesterday. you’ll get to choose the word that goes on it … www.artsober.com

One Year Of Art — Find Your Exit 2

PART 2
When I posted the first Exit painting, without mr.belle’s permission, I was prepared for him to be mad.

For meddling in his career. For not asking first.

I saw ‘Exit’ on the painting, and thought “well this goes exactly with what I’ve been saying about how alcohol is an elevator that only goes down, and we have to Exit. Find the door. Get off, and stay off.”

So I photographed, cropped, and posted the first photo on the site. You can see the floor of the living room underneath. I had to tape it to the floor with little rolls of masking tape on each corner to get it to stay flat.

I had no idea how much to list for a price, though. To be honest, if you checked the site that first evening, you’d have seen a half dozen different prices. I started at $50. Then panicked and put it at $30.

A few hours went by and nothing happened.

When I held the painting up to the light, I could see all the layers of paint, like layers of sober supports.

Another hour. Nothing happened.

I set the price at $70 + $14 shipping (having no idea what it would cost to ship). We could call this method of pricing the ‘anal extraction method’ — as I simply pulled the number out of my ass.

And then I went to bed.

I still had no idea why he’d done this Exit painting in the first place.

What did it mean to him?

This is Exit painting #2, and it went to Mlodius in California 🙂
more here

 

from me: thanks for your feedback on Part 1 (link below). and thanks for ideas on what parts of the story you want to know more about (like when i said ‘visa’ in Part 1, did you think i meant credit card? i should have said visa for foreigners to live in france…) 
the point in sharing this is to celebrate one year of paintings, and to tell a story (hopefully!) about how being sober is just like putting your (husband’s) art on the internet and opening yourself up to cheerleading (and the occasional barb).
ready for Part 3? yes? (or if you’re bored, let me know and i’ll stop!)~

peewit:  “Yes yes, more story, and more behind the scenes marital shenanigans (!) cos those peeks into your relationship are major teaching tools, I learn so much from them. Plus for an artist (me!) to see someone actually selling such incredible quantities of work and quietly achieving life-changing things which simultaneously hugely impact their audience is very very nice indeed, xxxx.”

 


Missed the first installment?
Link to part 1 > here

 

small notes about labour day long weekend (and other things) #1

labour day long weekend. perhaps the last weekend of summer (in the northern hemisphere) … and you? you don’t drink. you say: i’m doing a cleanse. you say that alcohol affects your sleep. you say: i’m taking a break. you say: thanks i’ll start with water. you say that you’re taking a one year leave of absence from alcohol. you say that you’re not drinking until you lose 20 pounds. you say you’re taking medication. you say you have a yeast infection. and for the one ridiculous human who gives you a hard time, you get right in their grill and you say “i’m on day 51, i wonder how long you’d last.” and then you smile your very best smile.

~

painting 454 matches the couch 🙂  > https://gumroad.com/l/Exit-454

One Year of Art — Find Your Exit

from me: 
If alcohol is an elevator that only goes down, then you get off and you stay off. And in the last year, 450 (ish) paintings have been mailed all over the world. Dubai, Kansas, Vancouver, Germany, Switzerland.
The way the story starts, though, is like lots of stories.

PART 1
 It starts with an argument. The best kind of marital argument where I’m SURE I’m right and he’s wrong.
We’d just returned from a particularly distressing visa meeting with the French government—you know, the kind where they’re saying ‘you can’t do this, you must do that’. And there is much finger-wagging in Mr.Belle’s direction.
I had warned him for months beforehand. They’re going to give you shit for this, I said. No, they won’t, they don’t care, he replied. They are going to send us home to Canada, I whined. No, they won’t, it’ll be fine, he repeated.
Well, it wasn’t fine.
Before the agent could approve us for the next level of our resident visa, she apparently had to do a careful review of his file.
And then she said what I knew she would (I knew it! I was right!): “Monsieur, you cannot have this visa renewed in this situation.”
She said it with a nice French accent. But still.
 Three days later, in a fit of frustration, I went into my husband’s things while he was at work, pulled out one of his ‘for fun’ paintings, and stuck it up on the website.

   That day was August 15th, one year ago today. 

This is Exit painting #1, and it went to Indy in California 🙂
more here
I thought I’d try to tell the story of this, and how it started, and why, over the next few days. It will sound like a sober story: can’t tell what to do, try something, see if it works, adjust, try something else, wait and see, worry, get traction, feel nervous …
Because everything is like everything.
And being sober is just like putting your (husband’s) art on the internet and opening yourself up to cheerleading (and the occasional barb). Thankfully lots more kind things said, than shitty. Just like being sober 🙂 Some weird bits, still better than before… If you’re interested in hearing part 2 of the story, let me know.

    

art shows & live podcast recordings this fall

from me:

i will be travelling this fall, and will be hosting a few events that will be a combination art show for Mr.B’s exit paintings AND a live podcast recording.

You can come meet us (well, mr.belle will be at some of the events). We’ll have snacks and paintings and you’ll meet interesting people (hahaha, I mean besides me).

MONTREAL, Quebec
Saturday, September 7th, 2019
Time: 2:00 pm – 5:00 pm
Location: Near Jean Talon market. The exact location will be sent to you 2 days before the event.

Details: We will meet at 2 pm, have coffee and snacks, chat, look at art, chat some more, and then I’ll turn on the microphone to begin recording the podcast at 2:45 pm sharp. Guests will be able to watch/listen as it’s done live, and ask questions live, too, if desired. Voices only will be recorded, no faces. After we’ll have time to visit a bit longer. Mr. Belle will be in attendance.

TICKETS available here

BURLINGTON, Vermont
Saturday, September 21st, 2019
Time: 2:00 pm – 5:00 pm
Location: Near Waterfront Park. The exact location will be sent to you 2 days before the event.

Details: We will meet at 2 pm, have coffee and snacks, chat, look at art, chat some more, and then I’ll turn on the microphone to begin recording the podcast at 2:45 pm sharp. Guests will be able to watch/listen as it’s done live, and ask questions live, too, if desired. Voices only will be recorded, no faces. After we’ll have time to visit a bit longer. Mr. Belle will be in attendance.

TICKETS available here

LONDON, England 
Sunday, November 10th, 2019
Time: 2 pm – 5 pm
Location: TBA

Details: We will meet at 2 pm, have coffee and snacks, chat, look at art, chat some more, and then I’ll turn on the microphone to begin recording the podcast at 2:45 pm sharp. Guests will be able to watch/listen as it’s done live, and ask questions live, too, if desired. Voices only will be recorded, no faces. After we’ll have time to visit a bit longer. Mr. Belle will NOT be in attendance. He’s going to an a-ha concert that same weekend!

TICKETS available here

~

For all cities, i am open to your best recommendations for a place to host – like a yoga studio, or a lawyer’s conference room, or a hotel’s private meeting space. If not, i have back plans for each city but you might know somewhere better 🙂

Can’t wait to meet you. Really. This will be a ton of fun.

hugs, belle xo

Bonus and FREE podcasts loaded into itunes for you to access now

something really wonderful has happened.

i’ve received a large donation from a penpal who’s now successfully sober and she wants to pay it forward.

the coolest thing? this donation means that starting today, you can listen to some of my brand new podcasts, mixed with some archived audios … long ones AND shorter one-minute messages.

And it’s all free.

I can do this for a month starting today, thanks to the donation that I’ve received.

 

HOW TO LISTEN:

1. The audios are available on iTunes (Apple Podcast). See #4 below for Android. To listen to the podcasts on your iphone, go to the purple Podcast app and search for “Sober Belle” and that’ll show you the “Sober Insights” picture. Then click subscribe.

 

2. Video for iphone: Need a visual?
1 minute video on how to subscribe here.

 

3. Desktop: No phone? No problem. You can listen through apple podcasts (itunes) online here

 

4. How to listen on Android (video)
2 minute video on how to subscribe here.

hugs and happy tuesday to you 🙂

p.s. I’d be so happy for you to share this post too, if you have places where you do that sort of thing 🙂 here’s the link to share:

https://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/2019/08/13/10-podcasts-loaded-into-itunes-for-you-to-access-now/

~

this is painting #496 here > www.artsober.com


this is painting #496 here > www.artsober.com

#authenticAugust – Day 12 – Continuous Days

Hi there 🙂 today i have a check-in space for you, where you can note how many continuous days you’ve had so far in August … 3 or 8 or working on today day 12 today?

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, how many continuous days in august, and what’s the main reason for being sober as far as you’re concerned… #AuthenticAugust

ok, i’ll start …

new things

I don’t know how to say this so you can hear me:
It’s not just about starting again on Day 1.
It’s not just about saying “today is my new Day 1.”
It’s about changing something.

Because if what you’ve been doing up to now isn’t working.
then you need to do something different.
It’s not just ‘try harder’ —
it’s ‘try different’.

If you email me and say
‘today’s my new Day 1’
I’m going to thunk you
and say
what are you changing?

Because you don’t want to hang around Day 1 anymore.
And you want things to be different,
and you’re emailing a sober coach,
so you want her opinion.
(Because if you didn’t,
you’d just not tell me.)

So when you tell me
“I’m on Day 1”
it would be incredibly bad form
(and not fair)
if I support you having a new Day 1
without changing anything.
That wouldn’t be fair to you.
It would probably be irresponsible on my part, too.

Because this booze thing can get worse and worse
and we don’t want that to be you.
And we don’t want that to happen to you.

It’s not just having a new Day 1 …
having a new Day 1 is fabulous,
don’t get me wrong 🙂
You do need a new Day 1.
AND you need to add some new things
because what you’ve been doing up to now
hasn’t been enough
and you want to move away from here
so you’re going to do some new things now.

 

 


 

really?
mr. belle was out putting envelopes into mailboxes (we distribute them over several, as the boxes are tiny, so it means walking for a while).
he got home,
and i said to him
“another painting sold today to JenJen on her day 100”
and he said
“that’s great.
do you want spaghetti for dinner?”
and i do. and he’s cooking.
then i went off to the balcony to take the photo for #468,
upload and crop, save,
make up the gumroad button, and post it.

468
special edition flag painting

go here > www.artsober.com

~ hugs from me (and him)

 

that fun little person who disappeared

Coco: “I see getting sober like going back to my childhood, when things were fun without alcohol. Before I ‘needed’ alcohol to have fun or fit in or deal with problems. Doing things just because they were fun. Getting back in touch with the silly, frivolous, random, not necessarily productive joys in life that seem to get squashed as we grown up.
So here is a list of some of my favorite jams from when I was a kid, and how I’m pursuing them as an adult:

  • Tea parties –> going to scope out fun teahouses in my area.
  • Arts and crafts –> taking fun workshops like glass blowing and truffle making. Taking a full on painting class.
  • Being a morning person-waking up with the sun-no alarm clocks. Starting my day really early by choice not alarm clock.
  • Going to the pool –> kids are grown and flown but I joined anyway.
  • Playing with my dollhouse –> doing fun little projects around the house.
  • Playing endless games –> finding fun new games to play.
  • Cooking and baking with my mom/making mud pies in the yard –> trying out new recipes.
  • Playing with my siblings and friends –> reconnecting with FUN friends.
  • Playing dress up –> having fun wearing all my clothes and jewelry and not saving it for special occasions.
  • Playing outside –> going for walks, exercising, spending time outdoors.

Such a girlie girl I was. I’m trying to get back in touch with that fun little person who disappeared somewhere along the line. coco”

 


 

from me: when i say ‘we’ appreciate your support, i mean me and him. and probably even him more than me, even though you never hear from him. all the writing in these emails is me. all the audios are me. all the dishes and vacuuming and the going to the post office is him. all the art is him (except for my few hope paintings). the exit paintings are just like him, actually: mostly silent, continuous, permanent, loyal. the art, the decoration, the brightness. he was making these exit paintings, in secret, long before i found them. he was working out an ‘exit’ of his own to do with his career. trying hard to get out of a situation that didn’t suit. and when i saw ‘exit’ i knew what it meant for me. for me, it means “if booze is an elevator that only goes down, then you get off and you stay off.” exit. visual reminder.

this is exit #399, link here > https://gumroad.com/l/Exit-399

 

 

#dryJuly Day 31 – Continuous Days

Here’s a check-in space for today. the goal for dryjuly has been continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say how many continuous days you’ve had in july … 12 or 6 or working on today as the 31st continuous day?

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, how many continuous days in july, and what’s the biggest thing you’ve realized about doing this dryJuly thing …

ok, i’ll start …