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#DryJuly Day 31 – Continuous Days

Hi there, happy July 31st! Here we are at the end of July and so this seems like a good day to have a look back on where we’ve been, to see if it’s leading to where we want to go. Like, can you ‘get what you want’ by doing what you’ve been doing?

The goal for the #DryJuly is continuous days sober. In the comments below, you can say what is the longest stretch of continuous days you’ve had so far IN JULY.  Maybe your longest sober stretch is 7 days continuously, or you’re on day 31 today for July …

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober for July 2021 (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read your story we feel less alone.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in February” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#dryJuly Day 14 – Continuous Days for July

i wanted to create this check-in space for today. the goal for dryjuly is continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say how many continuous days you’ve had so far in july … 3 or 8 or 13 working on today as the 14th continuous day?

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, how many continuous days in july, and what’s the biggest thing you’ve realized so far in the past couple of weeks of doing this… #dryJuly

ok, i’ll start …

 

#dryJuly Day 2 – Nice to see you :)

just thought i’d open up this space where we can introduce ourselves. the goal for dryjuly is continuous days sober. you can say what day you’re on today, and later i’ll do another post and you can report in your continuous days so far.

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, what day you’re on, and WHY you’re doing #dryJuly

ok, i’ll start …

​new painting posted > www.artsober.com

Solstice to Solstice June 2021

From Sober in Richmond (The Solstice Guy): “I started my 100 Day challenge on the Solstice [and am celebrating 6.5 years sober on June 21st] … If there is anyone out there who needs some motivation to start – perhaps they can do the Solstice to Solstice. It really helped me to have the power of the whole darn earth behind me rather than a day or date on a calendar … It’s an incredibly magical thing, the Solstice to Solstice!”

Imagine it’s the longest day of the year (Monday June 21st in the northern hemisphere). Imagine you’re sober. June 21st can be your Day 1 or maybe it’s your Day 50. Or 400. Doesn’t matter. Can you see yourself sober on December 21st? Winter Solstice. Stand here. Look ahead 180 days. Because if you think the view from day 100 is great, wait until you see 180 days.

  • If you’d like to be sober from Solstice to Solstice, you can put a comment below.
  • Audios to listen to for Solstice to Solstice (Package 1): Receive one archived podcast every 2 days for 180 days. That’s 90 audios in total, starting with SP001 Accepting Help all the way to SP090 Magical Time. Audios discounted 40%
  • Audios to listen to for Solstice to Solstice (Package 2): Here is the link for pack #2, audios SP091 to SP180. One new audio lesson every two days for 180 days. Audios discounted 40%

I like the idea of having the ‘whole darn earth behind me’ – how about you?

 

~

 

If booze is an elevator that only goes down
now is the time to exit.
Get off, and stay off.
Here is your reminder.
link

We’ve tried this. It doesn’t work for us.

from me:

The idea of moderation (and really, it is only an ‘idea’), is that I’ll make rules for myself and I will follow those rules. I’ll make rules like ‘only one drink, only drink on weekends, only special occasions, i won’t drink this kind alcohol, I’ll have water every second glass…’

The idea of moderation is to have rules AND then to follow those rules. ha. of course, that isn’t what happens.

It’s sort of like saying: “I’m going to do a little bit of heroin, not very much, just a little bit, and I won’t ever let it take over, and I won’t do it every day” — which is to imply that we can keep track of an addictive substance, and we can contain it in one section of our house … that we can hold it in one part of our life and not let it overflow into everything else.

You might have been online looking for support to quit drinking, or you might have searched for “am I an alcoholic,” or you looked up “how do I drink less?” — and not long into your research you would have found that people would talk about how they had tried to moderate and were unsuccessful. So then they made new rules, and tried again, or they would resolve to try harder to stick their rules.

The problem with this — and you and I know this (and you know this because you’ve tried it) — anybody who comes to the sober world as well as anyone who’s quit drinking, has already tried to cut down, to drink less, drink every so often, drink on weekends. We’ve tried this. It doesn’t work for us.

You’ve tried to have ‘some’ and then stop, but once the pathway is open and the addictive voice is activated, then it’s yelling.

[this text above is from the transcript for archived podcast #400 about moderation]

~

AM: “Hi Belle, I tip my virtual hat to you. Podcast 400 needs to be blasted from speakers on (sober) car roofs across the globe .  Is there a way we can get it to pop up when people google search ‘how do I moderate my drinking?’ Lying awake with hangxiety at 3 in the morning?”


 

NEW: I’ve uploaded four older audios that have been missing from the archived podcasts list (scroll down until you see the NEW tag for episodes #399-#402). If you’re missing a few audios from your complete series, OR if you just became a subscriber recently, you may want to see some of these archived ones:

  • #399 – learning to overcome regret and shame (and to tell this apart from rumination and re-thinking for no reason)
  • #400 – when thinking about moderation, we often get stuck at the intersection of “I should be able to…” and “I can’t…” – and we stand there for a long time, waiting. but it’s a busy intersection. and cars crash at this exact place all the time.
  • #401 – i’m not a bad person, I just drink too much. i’m a good mother, i just drink too much. we hope we can put our drinking in a box, and hide it in the closet. turns out, it doesn’t really work that way …
  • #402 – being empathic isn’t an excuse for poor boundaries 🙂 in fact, if you ‘feel all the feels’ then you need MORE boundaries than most people…

to see these newly added archived audios go here (scroll down to see episodes #399 to #402 and then you can select them one by one).

OR here’s a one-click-link to get a these 4 new archived audios together in a tidy, complete bundle.

hugs, belle xo

#100DaySoberChallenge – Continuous Days in February 2021

Hi there, happy valentine’s day. this seems like a good day to have a look back on where we’ve been, to see if it’s leading to where we want to go. Like, can you ‘get what you want’ by doing what you’ve been doing?

The goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments below, you can say what is the longest stretch of continuous days you’ve had so far IN FEBRUARY. Maybe your longest sober stretch is 7 days continuously, or you’re on day 14 today for February …

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober for February 2020 (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january for now.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in February” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

Do your relationships change when you’re sober? {Audio}

​Hopeful62 is worried that her relationship with her husband will change if she is longer-term sober. She ​emailed me about having defined roles in a relationship, and ​how being sober might changes things (presumably in a bad way).

So my reply? Well it includes a bit of: What if the changes are positive? What if we evolve into a better version of ourselves? Slightly less irritated, slightly less anxious. You may have better boundaries and speak up for yourself more. These aren’t bad things 🙂

And then I say this quote, but you'll have to listen to the audio to find out why... “I don’t give a shit for a millisecond what my husband thinks of croissants.”

Related Links:

  • SP45 Here’s What I Need From You > www.gum.co/sp045 
  • Mini-Course: How to Quit Drinking When Your Husband Still Drinks > link


​This audio link has been removed. 

If you are a podcast subscriber on or before February 15th, you'll get this audio in your podcast library. hugs, belle xo

sign up to be a podcast subscriber here​.


This link has been removed. If you are a podcast subscriber on or before February 15th, you'll get this audio in your podcast library. hugs, belle xo

Sober Podcast 412. ​Do Our Relationships Change When We're Sober?

You can ​leave a comment below, anonymous is fine. ​You can tell me if you heard anything new ​... ​

Sign up for the ​podcast ​subscription
(1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)

#100DaySoberChallenge Day 31- Continuous Days – January 2021

Hi there, so it’s end of January. Seems like a good day to have a look back on where we’ve been, to see if it’s leading to where we want to go (how’s that for a confusing sentence!).

The goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say what is the longest stretch of continuous days you’ve had in January. Maybe your longest sober stretch was 7 days continuously, or 18, or you’re working on today as the 31st continuous day.

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober for January 2021 (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january for now.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in January” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#100DaySoberChallenge Day 12 – Continuous Days

i wanted to create this check-in space for today. the goal for the #100DaySoberChallenge is continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say how many continuous days you’ve had so far since January 1st. Maybe you’ve had 3 days continuously sober, or 8, or you’re working on today as the 12th continuous day?

In order to create a safe space here, i’ll make some general recommendations that you can think about before you post:

  • Enter your continuous days sober since january 1st (not your total days if you’ve been sober longer). this helps to create a more inclusive environment when we have a smaller focus on just january up to now.
  • Make an effort to use positive (or neutral) language. You can say “I’ve had 6 continuous days in January” versus “I’m on day 5 again.” I’ll edit out the word ‘again’ if you post that (!)
  • Leave out mentions of specific kinds of alcohol, types, brands, and colours. if you mention that you miss booze, that’s fine. if you say ‘i miss a clear glass of blah blah’ i’ll very kindly remove the entire comment.
  • Start a new comment and talk about YOU, rather than commenting on other person’s share. When we read about other people we feel less alone; it helps more than “you got this” from a stranger. and often when we comment on each other’s posts, someone is left out, some comments get more likes, etc.
  • Put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’ and just a reminder that email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

ok, i’ll start …

#100daysoberchallenge – Day 2 – Nice to see you :)

just thought i’d open up this space where we can introduce ourselves. the goal for the #100daysoberchallenge is continuous days sober. you can say what day you’re on today, and later i’ll do another post and you can report in your continuous days so far.

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, what day you’re on, and WHY you’re doing the #100daysboerchallenge

ok, i’ll start …