anonymous confession booth: sex

step right up. for two days only, i’m creating an anonymous sober confession booth about SEX. Yes, i’ve got something running through my head and i thought, OK, let’s blog about it. and really, it’s amazingly hard to talk about sex even when we’re quasi-anonymous online. And so then i thought, OK, let’s make it 100% anonymous, me included.

So here’s the deal.

  1. Post a comment below.
  2. For this to work you MUST type Anonymous as your name and put in a fake email ( in the comments form (if you forget, i’ll go in and delete that info manually). all comments are to be anonymous. one of the comments will be from me, you just won’t know which one.
  3. I have no way of personally knowing who posts what.
  4. In your comment, write two or three sentences (max.) about something about sex that you think is ONLY your problem and that probably no one else has the same problem as you do. For example, i’ll make one up: “I can’t initiate sex when sober but i used to be able to when drinking” … OR … “i worry that i’m the only person who has x problem now that i’m sober.”
  5. Then post ONE anonymous ‘reply’ to one of the other comments already posted, and say something comforting, consoling, forgiving, kind. In fact, it would simply help if you said “i have this problem, too.”

i have a feeling that this will unfold in a lovely way. because you’re all lovely people. and we all have sex shit that we can’t talk about.


small fridge magnets. to protect you.

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I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • So I’m over 100 Days sober and my partner is still drinking. The number of times we are having sex at the moment has significantly reduced. We are cool with sober sex, just not had much of it lately. Mostly because I am in bed before him and when he comes up having been drinking I don’t acknowledge his advances. Am cool with morning Sex but out of holidays that means we are limited to Sundays and the odd Saturday when neither of us are getting up for work at the crack of dawn. Sex in the middle of night when he’s drunk and groaning and feeling out for me I’m not ok with. Wish there were more evenings he didn’t drink. Think it’s time for a talk with him ref me not liking drunk sex.. I’d prefer him not to be even tipsy. . How do we clarify the boundaries in this though. Agree a number if drinks! It’s like moderation, I worry it won’t work. I know he can’t moderate just like I cannot. If he thinks I’m telling him what to do he’ll not like that either !

  • I’ve never had sober sex that didn’t result in a panic attack. I want to have sex—I’m super horny since starting testosterone replacement therapy— but I always need drugs or alcohol to enjoy it. And the fear of panicking without something to “take the edge off” only makes it more likely to happen.

    While I’ve had some negative sexual experiences before, I’ve never been assaulted, and I’m a guy. It feels like it’s not okay to seek out sex while not being able to perform.

    I have a date in two days with a guy I know is going to want to have sex. And I want to have sex with him. But I don’t want to ruin our chances of dating by freaking out on him. And I do want to have sex with him. I’m going to try to do it sober and communicate with him, but I’m going to be scared as hell while doing so.

    I know I’m not the only one with this issue, but it’s definitely not talked about.

  • first time sober after 2+ yrs was pretty great, but with someone I could never stick with.

    surprisingly nice to be sober, making consciously (bad) decisions, enjoying passion and the moment.

    i feel so empty now. at least i felt alive for a moment. it’s still there somewhere.

  • Sensually I much prefer sober sex. I do not I initiate it as often as I should though. I much prefer my partner also being sober too but this is my sober choice not his so need to find the right balance. We could be doing more x