Audio: Saving the 12-year-old

i was in a hotel room, hanging out, reading about writing fiction, and in the book there was this question about what is your WHY.

now, generally i hate these questions.

but i started thinking about it in terms of 'why do i do this sober work' ... or more specifically, why have i been doing this sober stuff for 10 years (soberversary coming in 19 days!).

and WOW does this audio get deep!

the why.

the REAL why.

And in this audio I tell you the story of the 12-year-old.

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Sober Podcast 482. Saving the 12-year-old

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I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • I listened to the whole thing. I remember you referencing that in your radio show. I got similar feedback from my son but really too late for me – he’s 21 now and we talk candidly about me drinking when he was younger and now that I am sober. I am watching him repeat some of my behaviours and it pains me greatly. I reflect on my parents drinking and it was not anything like mine but culturally it is acceptable and alcohol is everywhere now in the UK. I wish I could have stopped much sooner.

  • Wish my daughter could hear this. Her addiction has greatly affected her kids. Thankfully I didn’t drink when mine were children.

  • I stopped Wolfe in his tracks when my kids were 12 and 10. My children continue to have a parent they know they can count on no matter what time of day or night.

    Thank you Belle on behalf of all the 12-year olds whose parents can show up with more presence and show them a better way of navigating this crazy world.

  • I am fixing it, day 7 thanks Belle for reminding me it’s not too late to make a difference, I really hope it will x

  • i was 14…my son now is 10…bull´s eye…the average is that kid you re talking about Belle… can relate to both sides…i know i forgave my mama,wish my kid will forgive me too and most of all,he will not get trapped,he will be free…for both of us…hell,yeah,this f…ing wolf dies with me!!!! from dehydration…

  • I liked everything you said in that podcast. Especially bc towards the end I was thinking my kids are too old, it’s too late to make an impression on them. (One is 22 and one is 16) then you started talking about it’s not too late and mentioned how it might impact a 16 year old.:)
    Day 38

    • NEVER too late Baby Steps… mine were 19 and 17 and being the sober mom is brilliant…The mom that everyone can trust at night time. It changes everything everything.

  • Brilliant audio Belle … thank you so much I listened in one go whilst walking my dog .. I don’t have children but the 12 year old inside me who experienced drunk parenting was spoken to today .. she cried … the terrifying unpredictability and teenage tenacity to manage it resonated.. I know if I had children I’d be a better parent sober… as I am certainly a better dog owner sober, I can tell that my dog is happier being in a regular eating sleeping and walkies routine. And I am happier noticing she is happier – thank you and keep doing what you do, the way that you do it … your WHY works xxx

  • The 12 year old thinks being drunk is normal-everyone is like that-it’s acceptable, so to be accepted they must drink also. So they drink, make bad decisions, make poor choices and get themselves in horrible situations with no parents to turn to. Thank god I found belle when I did. Keep up the good work!

  • I listened to your whole talk in one sitting which was not hard at all to do. You were very good. Yes, I’m sure that we all have assorted why’s for drinking and assorted why’s for becoming and STAYING sober. The importance of: it’s never too late or too early for that matter, to stop being a drunk, for ourselves, partners, children – regardless of age. Thank God children are forgiving!!!! And thank you.

  • Absolutely lovely and I cherish your personal ongoing work on yourself, regarding Freedom from Alcohol. I needed to hear that, even YOU work on this indefinitely!! I know as confident as I feel with my AF Lifestyle, I always need to learn and lean to others for information!! I gave up drinking when I became a grandma and didn’t drink around my children until later in their life, but I was a 12-year old in a drinking, unstable environment. I never wanted that for my children, but it caught me in my boredom years and I now have to remove it for my grandchildren’s sake. It does make me feel responsible, and I am able to let go of my 10 years of alcohol over-consumption, along with not so much responsibility/respect to myself, my husband and my adult children. Thanks again!! Keep sending emails 💜💟💜

  • if it wasn’t in the title / your email already, I didn’t expect that at all! I was sure it had something to do with a bakery 😉
    I’ll keep on listening now … thanks for the lovely saturday surprise! 🙏🏼😘