#dryJuly Day 14 – Continuous Days for July

i wanted to create this check-in space for today. the goal for dryjuly is continuous days sober. in the comments, you can say how many continuous days you’ve had so far in july … 3 or 8 or 13 working on today as the 14th continuous day?

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, how many continuous days in july, and what’s the biggest thing you’ve realized so far in the past couple of weeks of doing this… #dryJuly

ok, i’ll start …

 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • So I am trying different and posting on the blog. Its good to be here and read what you have all shared. So thank you.
    I am a bit late to the party with the dry July post (I had got to 68 days and then mid July I crumbled). So here I am on day 5 with just one more day in July left. I will try different to keep going through August. I keep getting freaked out with the thought of forever so I am taking it day by day. Thank you Belle. Without your support I would not be at this point.

  • Hi, everyone! It’s so inspiring, encouraging, humbling and helpful to read everyone’s comments! Thank you for sharing. I’m on day 22. Woohoo! I did a 46-day alcohol-free challenge at Lent (I did the same challenge six years ago, too), then switched to moderation from then until the Dry July challenge. Which, actually, went well and I rarely wanted more than one or two and most days didn’t have anything. But it started to feel tedious (just even thinking about it at all), so I found Dry July a nice reprieve. Take the subject — er, wine bottle — off the table and voilà — thinking space for 1,234 other, more interesting things. So, I decided this week to do a Sober Summer (100 days). I was torn and going back-and-forth on the idea throughout Dry July. I was firm on the decision until we confirmed a (socially distant) road trip home to visit family, telling my (supportive and always my biggest cheerleader) hubby that I wanted to go back to moderation after July, so we could grab growlers curbside at a new brewery or two on the trip and also, FAMILY. 😳 Ha! Then the next day, I woke up and thought, “actually, I want to continue with my 100-day challenge, because there will ALWAYS be a “reason” to not do it.” (Event, trip, work bullshit, accomplishment to celebrate … FAMILY! 🤣) The point, for me, is to navigate all of those things without alcohol. That’s the experiment, the challenge, the purpose, after all. So, I’m on day 22 of 100 and who knows, maybe after October, I’ll do another 100. Until then, I don’t have to think about it! Aaaaaaaahhhhhh.

  • Day 2 – I am so ready. I’ve stopped twice in the past, both times for 3.5 years..not sure what that magic number means but that was my “I can handle it now!” timeframe. And of course, that is a bunch of crap. I can’t handle it and I don’t want to keep trying. I just want to live a healthy life that doesn’t include the constate “wolfie” in my head, and I’m on my way.

  • 5 days sober. Tonight (Friday) I would have bought a bottle of wine (sometimes 2 bottles) and drink the evening away. I would have woken up tomorrow feeling sorry for myself and guilty. On Wednesday I went to a BBQ and I would have been drinking then. Instead I drank cola and where I thought I’d never have as much fun without a drink, I instead had a fabulous evening and came home feeling in such a great mood and also very proud.

    I know it is still is very early days but I will take each day as it comes, but I am feeling more determined than ever!

  • After a blow out earlier this month I have now managed 11 successive sober days in July. I like to think of that as saying goodbye to wine, a reminder as to why alcohol shouldn’t be a part of my life anymore. The after effects of that session lasted a week.

    The biggest thing i’ve realised so far is that I can’t do this alone.

  • I decided that yesterday (20th) that I would stop drinking. I have stopped in the past on and off (the longest being 5 months) but as always you think that you can cut back and only drink on occasions, never at home etc but it never works.
    I suffer with depression on and off too and Sunday I bought a book by an Actress/TV Personality called Denise Welch. She wrote a book about her depression and surviving it. It is called The Unwelcome Visitor and it is amazing. A big part of the book related to her depression and how when she was drinking it made it worse, she listed symptoms etc and I could relate.

    Alcohol has always been more of a crutch for me, it gave me confidence when I thought I had none (or at least I thought it did, I’m just that loud drunk who thinks he knows it all), it numbed the sadness when I was at my lowest but of course never helped and would always make me feel worse the following day.
    When I have up for those 5 months. I did feel a different person and to be honest I would like to be that person again. I am turning 30 next Friday and I want to start off a new year/decade of my life with a fresh start and something positive in my life.
    I also have been told by my doctor many a time that I need to cut back on my alcohol intake as blood results show warning signs of liver damage. In the past I have been told this and have stopped for say 2 weeks and then start back drinking. So I have came to the realization that alcohol can no longer be a part of my life. You would think losing my mother at 13 to liver and kidney failure (caused by alcohol) but it didn’t because I always thought I knew better (clearly I didn’t).

    I came across your blog last week and read the 2 months that you emailed over and I was truly amazed by your journey. I laughed along with your good days and could relate to those bad ones and I would love to get to know you and everyone else here. I know it is still very early days. But I will continue to keep you posted on my progress.

  • 16 days sober, I read “the unexpected joy of being sober” in 3 days. It’s put me off, I have realised moderation is impossible for me.

  • Hi all,
    Today is day 60 (20 in July)! I sailed through my first camping trip with multiple families and everyone drinking…it was easier than I thought (what?!), I enjoyed walks on the beach, long bike rides, time with my daughters and husband, mornings with no regrets! I just listened to Belle’s podcast about quit forever, quit for now and for me, looking forward to 100 days feels perfect right now and it’s keeping me from freaking out about forever… I feel so good (don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been all daisies and unicorns, I’ve had hard days) I can’t imagine going back to the shitshow that was…goals that feel like a stretch, but achievable are perfect for now. I am an official podcast subscriber as of today, thanks for all of the resources and support you share Belle, your audio is one of my favorite sober tools 🙂

  • I had 13 days of continuous sobriety this month until I slipped twice this past week- once with a few beers and then pretty much one-night bender with hard alcohol a couple days ago. Today I am officially resetting the clock, although knowing that I had almost two weeks totally dry gives me cautious confidence that I can succeed- I would really like to extend this to 100 days but I know better than to get too far ahead of myself with expectations. I also know for sure that I really need to stop drinking. Belle, I look forward to collecting the right tools and staying connected with the content that you provide.

  • Day 19. Some days are awesome and some are crappy, but that’s normal. Thats what we are supposed to experience in life. I’m noticing emotions more clearly and just sitting with them. Thats probably the hardest part for me. I’ve always chosen to alter my mood. Oh the feels. I can differentiate Wolfie from my voice now. He fucks off when I tell him too.

  • I’m on 16 days of continuous sobriety in July. I can’t wait to get to 100. I’ve been as close as 76 days, but this time, I’m going to do it. I needed more support and I got it. It sucked asking for help, but as soon as I did, I felt a weight lift. Listen to Belle, she knows her shit.

  • I’m day 26. Feeling so good. I thought I was a casual drinker and had it under control, but eventually it was wine every night and feeling shitty every morning. I was so bloated and inflamed. I don’t think I can go back to the way I was.

    • I’m day 27. I felt very much the same as you describe and really, really don’t want to go back there. We can do this!

  • This is day 37. I am doing okay. Thinking about all the opportunities lost because of drinking or being hungover is giving me the strength to stay sober right now, but also keeping me in a depressed state. I am 50, and have many regrets. How do I let go of the past, yet remember it forefront to prevent me from repeating the same mistakes by drinking again?

  • Day 16 continuously sober. Doing really well, feel amazing, and plan to keep going after this month…struggling a bit with anticipatory anxiety in the sense of…what about when I’m on vacation? What about this? Or that? I know it’s wolfie trying to wind me up so I’m trying to stay present and grounded in today.

  • 15 days of July started my new sobriety life 25 May. Although I have had some anxiety days, Belle’s support and everyone going through this has kept me sane and on the straight and narrow. Hesitant about travelling to second home, end of the month, where drinking wine in the sunshine is a big part of the routine but planning ahead how much better a cold tonic and lime will feature in this new life.

  • Today is day 15 of continuous days in July. Having the worst alcohol-free day ever surpasses any “best day” soaking your head in booze. Belle’s advice is inerrant ~as usual~ when she reiterates: It is easier to have none.

  • Hi. I have done all of July so far (and a few days of June). I have never posted anything anywhere before and never sought any support . What Belle is saying absolutely resonates with me and am feeling really positive knowing that there are so many like minded people out there willing to support each other 🙂

  • Day 1 again 😥 like a hamster in a wheel! I have to do this it’s down to me and only me to make these changes! Day 1 is the hardest yet I’m continually doing it!
    I know I’m re training my brain it’s just so hard, but then no change is ever easy…… I can I will and I must! Feeling pretty shite this morning

    • I feel like shit also today. last night was a stupid night. I want to start today also. hope doing this blog helps me

  • 14 days of free and clear July days!
    One of the biggest things I’ve realized is how much alcohol is a disruption to my mental and emotional growth.

  • Day 14! Wolfie gets annoying from 5:30-6:30. But only mildly. Then he shuts up and I love my evening. But mostly my sleep! I sleep all night, no acid reflux, no 3:00 sweaty hate fest, staring at the darkness. And my mornings, I wake up smiling, SO HAPPY that I didn’t drink, and blow a kiss at the mirror.
    I tell myself that I can drink when we go to Italy. But with this pandemic, as a US citizen, that won’t be soon. And I might change my mind by then!

  • I’m happy to be able to say I have 14 sober July days… I have surprised myself this time, as I rarely make it past a few days (the most being 10 days in many many years of almost daily wine o’clock. The thought of how miserable I would feel at day 1 again, keeps me moving in the right direction. Thank you Belle for your daily emails. Your message for the day is always what I need to read just at the right moment.

  • Working on day 14. I’ve learned (or should say I am still learning) that just not drinking is easier than trying to moderate my drinking.

  • Hi, I am 14 days sober and working on 15 (it’s the 15th today in Australia). Being in this community has been really helpful, I look forward to the daily messages and I’m not left to my own devices which has definitely helped me deal with Wolfie, who is not as loud when in this community!

  • That’s 11 for me. It was fine, I didn’t feel deprived at all. I was sleeping better and my eyes look great in morning. Then we started seriously contemplating putting our home on the market, not eventually but within the next couple of months. That brought on SUPER anxiety for me, the kind I haven’t had in decades. I got tight muscles in my head and neck which caused TMJ pain. I got a huge tightness in my chest and a racing heart. Then the wolfie voice just took over. Fortunately, today we came to the decision not to make this move and I’ll be able to recover and go back to day 1. Still rattled by this experience. I wasn’t far enough into Dry July to get through that kind of stress, when my previous pattern has been to deal with stress by having 3-4 glasses of wine a night!

  • Fourteen sober days so far in July. Wow. Last Friday was hard. Had a bad day, felt attacked by others. I even asked my husband to get me a bottle of wine and he managed to persuade me not to. Thankfully, an hour later I was so glad that I didn’t and the next morning even more so. I have realised if I can get myself through the initial thoughts (or rather Wolfie voice) I can push through it. The clarity I feel is amazing and I can actually visualise myself not drinking going forward. Thank you Belle x

  • Day 14 of continuous sobriety for July … I am putting my sobriety and self-care ahead of everything else. That’s funny. Come to think about it, I did the same thing with my drinking.

    • “I am putting my sobriety and self-care ahead of everything else. That’s funny. Come to think about it, I did the same thing with my drinking.” Oh, Melissa! Brilliant. I’m literally writing this down in my inspiration notebook (I just made up that name, but I do have a notebook with sober inspiration in it) right now. Thank you!

  • I’m on day 14 of Dry July. I’m learning to sit with frequent uncomfortable feelings more and more in the knowledge that these too shall pass. I used to self soothe with alcohol. Treats today were delicious kalamata olives, toffees coated in chocolate, capers, and good Italian pasta.

  • I did 11 days of July after not drinking at all in June. I felt the “drift” before it happened, but didn’t have the right tools set up to stop it and, quite frankly, no one in my life thinks I have a drinking problem and I have near zero accountability! All my stop-start drinking efforts are doing is confusing everyone, including me. Wolfie whispered that no one is bothered if I drink, why should I? Everyone drinks…..So I drank on Sunday night, Monday night, and now last night and can’t get the momentum back – I’ve not drank that much but even so. Who knows when I will get another run? I’m awake before Sparrow’s Fart because of the alcohol “3 amwake me up” call. Then I lay on top of the bedding, in the middle of winter, because I was too hot. I’ve done sober. I’ve done drinking. I know I prefer sober – but at the same time I don’t really want to give up drinking! The mental tug of war is so tiring and even when I’ve had quite long runs of sobriety, the pull of alcohol never went away for me. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected that it would. If I could just find the magic combination of drinking and having a good life? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I know it’s a delusion, and yet….. 🙂

    • I can so relate to the “mental tug of war is so tiring”! Your description of the 3 am wake me is exactly what happens to me. I wasn’t sure if this was due to the drinking but a lot of people here are referring to that. I just did my first day of not drinking in about 6 months! One day at a time!

  • Wow, like a little kid each night I would count how many more sleeps till my 10th day, n today I’m here, already counting down to my 14th consecutive day in july …

  • 12 days cotinuous. Sadly I hit the fuck it button on day 2. I have realised I like the way I feel in the morning when I am sober.

  • I am on Day 14 of July … I have found it really helps to be part of a community. The opposite of addiction is connection. I look forward to you e-mails each day Belle🤗

  • This is my 14th day of continuous sobriety in July….
    I suppose what I’m noticing this month is just what a completely different headspace I’m in compared to this time last year.
    And this year being able to work on different things in my life that I couldn’t have done before….
    Being sober certainly means it’s possible to “live” with more clarity ( not all of the time….but certainly more often than when drinking !)
    I love the “you have potential “ bracelet I wear….it sums up an awful lot of how my life is going 🙂

  • I’m on my 14th continuous day sober for this dryjuly. my biggest realization in the last couple of days is that it can actually be fun to have a regular date with the husband after 6 or even 7 pm! gone are the days when this time of the day was only supposed to bury the next drunken night under another blackout …

  • It’s day 14 for me. I’m grateful for Belle’s and Elise’s support. Apart from staying sober and get through f*cking day 1, n*sty day 3 and b*dass day 5, the decision to reach out for Belles’s support and keep on going EACH DAY with the provided sober tools is the biggest thing I’ve realized.

  • This is 14 in July for me. I’ve done stunts of not drinking on and off since last August, the longest for about 3 weeks, but most were 3-4 day stretches before getting back to the wine. The biggest thing I realized is that “Not now, not today” really works for me. While I’m doing well now I keep thinking “yes, but what happens on my next trip to France how can I not drink wine either my French friends? Argh!” The truth is I have no immediate plans to go, and as am American no EU country would let me in now anyway. So WTF? How about now? Is now good enough? For me it is. Also just looking at this through a new framework…one of self care, compassion…and yes practicality, l (as opposed to self- hatred and self-blame) is an eye opener.

    • I also wrote about going to Europe after the pandemic, and maybe I’ll drink wine then. I’m working on NOW also, and I’ll see how I feel then.
      I read in a sober blog somewhere, “I’m visiting France soon. There is a lot of wine there. So what.” 😉

  • Thank you, Belle, for providing me with the tools to gain sober momentum! I am on day 14 for Dry July … my biggest eye opening realization with this journey has been how little other people care about my drinking or not drinking! Who knew? I was worried what people would say and whether they would encourage or roll their eyes and think “oh, here we go again…” It really is up to me.

  • Today is the 14th continuous day sober! So far, the biggest thing I’m noticing is that my MOOD is getting better (finally). The first 10 days or so I was headachey and the mood was all over the place, but I’m finally starting to feel the slightest bit better and have even had a few slivers of joy.

  • Belle is wise. Fucking around with repeated Day 1s is awful. I had 5 continuous days in July. Now I am working my way through yet another Day 2…

  • Today is Day 3 after 4 million Day 1’s. I have learned that if anything is going to change, I have to start by letting alcohol go, and will use this check in to keep myself accountable this month. Thanks Belle!

  • FOR JULY, I have 13 continuous days sober, working on day 14… biggest thing i’ve realized is that being sober is EASIER than fucking around with a new day 1 …