i depend on other people

email from Sober in Seattle (day 210):  “I relate to your penpal who said: ‘I have never used…support…i have never consistently reached out to another person…’ — not just for sobriety, but for anything. I am 54, and my whole life i have tried to tread very gently through the planet, asking little from anyone, because i don’t want to be reminded of my childhood, where all need was an admission of weakness, and any request for help would be turned down.

Of course there are a hundred million ways every day that I depend on other people. The farmers who grow my food, the writers who create the books i read and shows i watch, the folks who maintain my car and my apartment building, the police and fire and emergency responders who make my world as safe as it can be. But none of this help requires me asking for something, me putting myself out there to get what i need.

I have not written emails every day of my sobriety to my sober pen pals (Belle and Apprentice Elise), not because i am trying to hide anything, or because i don’t have time, but because i have a habit cultivated over 50 years of not reaching out to people. Not asking for anything. Not being vulnerable.”

[update: she’s on day 229 today]



stay here bracelet
stay sober. stay focussed. just do today. stay here.
14 karat gold.
mailed from france.
complete with sober superpowers.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • David C, day 26 . Its going to be a long weekend Memorial Day , not thinking of drinking and these holidays never were my thing for drinking , the 6.00 pm hour was. I love my good night sleeps 8.00pm to 4.00am ish, then a coffee , hot tub , stretching and walk dog, later today I will go for a bike ride and light work out after and at 12.00pm watch my Grand daughter of 6 months until 5.30pm swing up to see my 94 year old Aunt Mary, and then home thats a SOBER DAY and I’m not thinking of a drink for the evening, Thanks Belle and everyone who puts in a comment , be well . 😉

  • Well, here goes!! First ever comment on any blog of any kind. Have been ‘lurking’ and watching from the side lines and putting some things in place (day 38 today) but like Sober in Seattle, I am reaching out – right out it appears – to a community beyond myself and my husband and my friends and family because I need some recognition for this from those who truly understand.
    Since making the decision to do the 100 day challenge, my husband seems to be drinking more. I know it’s everyone’s decision blah blah, but I realise that where at first it pissed me off because I couldn’t have any, now I’m pissed off because actually, he’s a bit of an arse when he is drunk and I’m not keen on this version of him. What a hypocrite huh, because no doubt I was equally as obnoxious when drunk but obviously blissfully unaware!
    So, what has driven me to join in here is that I need support from elsewhere (i.e. from this sober community) rather than from my husband as he is not on this journey (to sobriety) and therefore can’t possibly be expected to know how to give me the support I need.
    Thanks Belle, keep up the valiant work!