f*ck this boring sober sh*t …

email from A: “Hello Belle, the arguments and rationalisations that Wolfie comes up with are nuts! I’ve made a list of Wolfie’s repertoire of tricks. And each time Wolfie pipes up, I can quickly identify which trick he’s trying to pull, and call him out!

  • Romanticisation (it’s soo nice and cosy and glamorous and comforting to have a lovely glass of red/white/beer/etc)
  • Minimisation (I’m not that bad, I haven’t crashed a car, my husband still loves me, I can handle my addiction)
  • Bargaining (just one drink; if I treat myself to a relapse today I can get back on the horse tomorrow, etc.)
  • Defeatism (I’m no good at this sober thing, I might as well drink because I’m going to fail eventually anyway, I’m hopeless, etc.)
  • Rebellion (fuck this boring sober shit, wohoo, I’m a shit-hot rebel and I’m going to defy all the insipid vanilla crap my sober self is telling me to do, because who gives a fuck!)
  • Impersonation (this is when Wolfie pretends that he is me, that his voice is actually MY OWN voice, and he does his level best to convince me that what I really, truly, absolutely want is to drink no matter what my sober self is telling me).”

~

[have you heard some of the wolfie voices lately?]

 

~

Grace when times are hard. Kindness to yourself and others. Taking care of you.

new painting posted
this is #607: Grace
link here > www.artsober.com

thanks so much for your support 😉 at one painting per day, that’s enough to keep the lights on …

see this new painting here > www.artsober.com

~ hugs from me (and him)

 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012