There are three main messages that I repeat often with penpals: about being alone, about being broken, and the wolfie voice.
In this audio, I go into detail on each one.
This podcast (episode 346) was previously sent to podcast subscribers.
This was recorded December 30, 2019 in anticipation of New Year’s Day...
You’ll want to take some time right now and have a listen. Split it into sections if you need to. Do this now.
I'll leave the link available until Friday January 6th @ 12 noon ET.
Sober Podcast 346. The 3 Things You Need to Know
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Hi Belle – I am making myself accountable – I found you and bought your book after a booze induced very destructive Christmas 2019 but stopped short of quitting for good soon after because Wolfie lied and said I was ok – I’m now on day 6 in jan 2nd 2023 realising that in the past I could go along quite ok for years at a time socially drinking but a ticking time bomb of immense self destruction rears its ugly head at random-
– I’ve come to the conclusion I have no control over this inner alcohol induced crazy demon and this nasty side of me comes out when I am way over the limit. I crossed an internal rock bottom line dec 28 2022 but thankfully and by the grace of God with no major external consequences so I am choosing to see this as a blessing and a major wake up call. Your advice of I’m not alone, not broken and Wolfie is a shitty rotten liar is my mantra now – reordered your 100 day sober challenge because asshole Wolfie made me throw it out last time in early 2020
Playing catch up today. But yes Sober July – day 4. 😊. It’s great to know I’m not alone, I’m not broken and WOLFIE isn’t me!! Hearing that is such a relief…..
July 2,2021
This is my second year of being sober in July. I stopped drinking for good in Feb 2000 after numerous years of trying moderation. And, every time I would have a 30+ day period of sobriety, and then go back to moderation, my “normal” level of drinking increased. In fact, I found that I was gulping down my wine or beer like it was my last drink. It was scary to think that my drinking had gotten worse after a period of abstinence. It was as if Wolfie was coming back with a vengeance – like in a horror movie! Anyway, I think that that fear did two important things for me. First, it made me get back on the sober track. And, secondly, it showed me, in technicolor, that moderation would not work for me. So, I am so proud and grateful to be in my second Dry July! Welcome to all who are on their first one. It gets so much easier after you get a few months of sobriety under your belt. Hang in there!! It is SO worth it.
July 2nd, only just listening to this. Ooooops! I’ve actually been sober since 1st June 2021 but thought I’d sign up for this Dry July as some extra support and motivation. 🙂
Day 1 Dry July 2021 complete! Buzzing. I did the gardening at tea time and got hubby to get a take away to make day 1 easier.
Just starting day 1 today 1/5/2021. Haven’t been checking my email regularly, so just last night noticed the 100 Day Sober Challenge had already begun. I was successful at completing Belles Dry July 2020, and had 45 continuous sober days. I was feeling so great and proud of myself, but fell into the moderation trap these past few months. Time to pick myself up and start this over again, so here I am and happy to be here and especially not feel like I’m doing this alone.
Thank you for this 100 Day Challenge! On day 4. You inspire me, help me, encourage me, teach me. I should say “us”. Thank you!
Forgot to mention I’m on day one today 1/3/21
I’m scared but I’m here
Hi, I’m on day 118 of belles 100 day challenge. Best thing I’ve done in years. I’ve experienced days of genuine feelings of freedom and also disbelief that I’ve managed 118 days after five years of daily drinking. I’m not alone, ty Belle.
Great way to start the new year with the audio of the foundation stones of the plan. I remember listening to the first lesson in the sober jump start class 13months ago and feeling that at last i connected with someone that was on my page. I followed Belles plan as I figured out that she must know more than me!! RESULT im doing so well sober and its a wonderful feeling, I felt higher last night alcohol free than I have ever done throwing booze down my neck, what a gift. Its worth persevering and doing what’s suggested. Im continuing doing the things that are working and keeping up with it – a bit a day, IM IMPORTANT and there is help there if we grab it. Smile9
I needed to know and be constantly reassured that I was not alone in those first weeks- this was very important because I thought it was just me who promised myself over and over, yet always did the same thing day after day. It was so hard to quit, and I thought I was the only person who heard all kinds of excuses in my head. I needed someone external, someone who didn’t know me at all, to say exactly what I was feeling/thinking out loud without me having to ask the question first. I found that in Belle’s first messages and emails. The validation was immense.
I thought I was broken- like a puzzle missing pieces- I could not get out of the spiral I was in. I only saw one way out, and even that didn’t work because I’m still here. When I tried elsewhere for help (alongside Belle), I was told it was my character flaws that kept me drinking, so I had to fix all of those (after figuring out what they were first) before I could get sober. So disheartening, impossible even. I didn’t know where to start. I started to have hope listening to Belle’s messages and reading emails when no one else / nothing else could reach me. I grabbed onto that little tiny piece of hope, and it grew from there. One of the messages about regret and one of the urban meditations where you look at yourself and do you want to be where you are 50 years from now really got to me. I cried for the first time in 7 years.
That voice in my head- it was a turning point for me when I heard Belle say that we all hear it, and it wasn’t really me. I thought I was going mad and was afraid to tell anyone. I realise now how ridiculous some of my excuses sounded, my “rationalisations” were completely irrational to a “normal” person. I not only heard it inside my head, but also from people in my life- telling me I wasn’t trying hard enough, that I didn’t really want to be sober, if I really loved them then I’d stop drinking, I wasn’t brave enough, and finally, silence- because they had gone past caring and were watching, waiting for me to die. (belle, edit as you see fit)
Wonderful way to start a new year, January 1, 2020: listening to the three fundamental cornerstones of sobriety, in Belle’s inspirational, I’m in your corner, voice. I am thankful i can hear this voice, all the way over the Atlantic Ocean, and then across the maddening crowds of the United States, here in my little corner of the world, on the Puget Sound. Thankful that this voice comes into my crowded mind, and sorts the madness there, with a dose of reality: i am not broken, i am not alone, i am not the voice in my head that leads to destruction.
Are you on day 1? Do you know if the 100 days challenge is free? I am not able to find a link to it. Thank you! I am on day 1 and I am on the West Coast.
Hi there, the 100 day challenge is free, you can sign up here > http://www.soberchallenge.online
hugs, belle