6 year old daughter finished her last round of chemo

december 3rd

email from flightplan (day 1160): “Just wanted to let you know that we made it. After over 2 years of treatment, my (now) 6 year old daughter finished her last dose of chemo last Sunday. 797 days since she started the fight against Leukemia. When this started, she was 3.5 years old and I was about 10 months sober. I did not know how I would live through this.
But, I did not drink.

Not through hundreds and hundreds of painful medical procedures on my poor little girl.
Not through being forced out of my job because I am the mom of a cancer kid.
Not when people made fun of her for losing her hair.
Not through seeing her curled up in a ball from chemo.
Not even to celebrate her completion of treatment.

Helping your young child fight cancer is about as close to a zombie apocalypse as I’d care to get.
Doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it. Doesn’t mean I didn’t wake up from nightmares thinking that I’d had alcohol. Didn’t know if I’d live through it. But yet we did it. 797 of chemo. She is 6. And done with chemo. And has a new puppy. And I can’t stop smiling.
So fuck cancer. And fuck wolfie.”

[update she’s on day 1173 today]

a couple of weeks ago, i wrote a 6-part mini-course about wolfie, the ‘drink now’ voice that lives in your head (my head, too). and how to get rid of it. more here.


little Exit magnet paintings.they remind you that the ‘during’ might be hard, but it’s worth doing. and that once you exit the booze elevator, and you do that work, you stay out. exit. find the exit and take it.

these anti-wolfie fridge magnets are about 2.5″ square (6 cm) on card stock.

magnet 249 > link


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012