Last week i wrote a 6-part email series about Wolfie. You know, that voice in your head that says “Drink Now.” I talk about why I call this voice ‘wolfie’, the lies that wolfie tells, how change the channel in your head, how to identify the destructive voice when it ISN’T saying Drink Now (what else does it say?), and how to get rid of the voice.
It’s now available on my site:
Print version > link
PDF version > link
And it’s available on Amazon Kindle:
US > link
UK > link
France > link
Germany > link
Canada > link
Australia > link
P.S. You can always go to Amazon and search for ‘wolfie drinking’ or search for the product code B07ZBCXT4J and the kindle file will come up.
sober art thanks to mr.belle
This is #529 here.
if alcohol is an elevator that only goes down, you can find the exit.
Day 21 for me. Just talked to my husband about what I’m doing to keep sober. As I expected, he didn’t understand… but I guess I’m glad I did it. Thanks for understanding, Belle. <3
Sorry. It’s the middle of the night and I’m on a roll. Talking about support for professionals, we had weekly clinical supervision WTF did we talk about for all of those hours because we certainly didn’t talk about ourselves. Secrets we even kept from our day to day colleagues. Secrets that couldn’t even be drawn out by clinical professionals. Because we need to be seen as squeaky clean…suited booted and screwed up doesn’t sit right. Happy today gone tomorrow. That Wolfie is one powerful guy. Thanks for listening.
I just wanted to add to that. I had an amazing colleague. I learnt so much from him. He helped and supported so many people and always put his heart into everything. Newly married to the guy he loved after years of personal struggles. I can honestly say one of the best social workers I ever worked with. He went to a party six weeks ago, drank to much, walked out of the hotel to go home in a silly mood. He was knocked over by a car and killed. No longer with us…WTF.
I’m on day 24. I worked as a social worker child protection in England. CSE specialist (my title). Child sexual Exploitation. Independent sexual violence advocate for children. (Another one). I opened the wine after work before I’d even took my coat off. Substance misuse was an issue in most of my cases. Alcohol. Parent alcohol abuse, child/teenager alcohol abuse. My morning visits were often a blur. But then they wouldn’t smell it would they so I could pretend to be the one who had their shit together. I accompanied many to AA meetings etc. Had many people tested for court evidence. But my problem was not a problem (right) I was the one doing the best for the kids (right). Missed appointments, lateness, illness, forgetting names, places, i bet the kids knew. Reports written after a couple of glasses so what I write better when I’m relaxed. (Balls). Where would I have got support? Yes. I would have lost my registration. Hidden struggles, PTSD, flashbacks of the day to day info I carried in my head and my subconscious dealt with whilst I was wine fuelled. Maybe those visits to AA did me good. The relief I would of got if I could of put my hand up and said HELP me too. But could you imagine the response. I delivered training packages to other professionals and alongside many disclosures I got the OMG I drink far to much wine confessions. I used to listen and smile…it will be ok, we need it sometimes to help us cope, it’s ok for us professionals we have proved ourselves we are allowed to live how we please as long as the job gets done!
Wow that must have been so so hard….
I feel quite lucky that when I was still drinking I didn’t see any clients who admitted to an alcohol issue…
Now I work with people who do … it’s such a relief to be honest about my own recovery….
I find the honesty for me is so important to try to keep going on the “right path” especially so others can “call me on my shit” so to speak…. difficult but necessary…
Well done on day 24 👍🤗
After reading past blogs I processed some of the suggestions … one being that I engage and not be silent. So this is me … my first ever comment on a blog. I don’t know how long I can be sober for, or even if I can, but boy do I want to give it my best shot!
Thanks for the motivation Belle and others on the first two months blogs.
Thank you for creating this. I think that many many people think “it is just me”…that this is only happening to me, and afraid to say anything to anyone in case others perceive me to be “crazy” (why can’t you JUST STOP?!?).The most fantastic revelation was (for me)…that I was never alone, it wasn’t just me, even though I thought so the beginning (because that is one of the things my voice said). EVERYONE has that insidious voice, albeit some louder than others at times. It’s just that until now, it was never spoken about – now it’s out there – out loud and now in print – I can only imagine the huge relief (and light bulb moments) some people must feel if this was their first toe in the water of their journey to sobriety.
Every thought I have been that isn’t taking good care of me is wolfie. That’s a good filter to use.
I love this series – I have the audio version and it is so handy to have when I need a reminder about where “that” voice is coming from, and also to have some tangible tools that I can implement to make that voice stop.
Day 21 again, after hitting day 176, the summer holidays, weddings etc, moderation didn’t work.
So I made a new day 1, re-read your book, I read all your daily emails, up’d my sober tools and treats, so far so good.
I find Wolfie pop up whenever I’m getting ready to hang out with a certain friend/neighbor who I have drank a lot with. I hate that those two things have such a strong correlation (friend+drinking) and then I hear Wolfie saying “just stop at the store be grab some xx” over and over. I’m working on low to stop giving Wolfie power. I am always looking for tools to get through these challenging moments.
Thank you! I could use a little help learning how to say, “F you, Wolfie!”
Hi Belle, I’m probably your biggest lurker fan. I am on Day 1 again and feeling like shit. I listened to Wolfie last night when he told me that drinking would make dinner with some really annoying people easier.
if you send me an email, i can send some ideas maybe. if what you’ve been trying isn’t quite enough, it’s ok to add on more things. hugs
I am on 121 I feel raw… I will not drink, but it is hard to keep myself busy, and grateful that is for sure. On a big Snow day… Oh, I wanted Red wine and watch the snow fly… My husband kind of hoped, I would do just that…but he just moped around like it wasn’t as much fun as it use to be. I guess, he is right…but I play the ” Tape till the end, and know how those days ended”. Me staggering, and full of regret…So, I just went to bed at 6:00 at night…and let go of any ones expectations. I have to really stay focused.
Not sure if I’m posting this in the right place ? Anyway, just wanted to put this in writing, perhaps it’s clearer then as I can’t really figure it out. Two weeks sober yesterday, and I knew I was gonna break it last night with some wine. And I did. But for the first time ever, in some 60 years of serious binge drinking and certainly at least thirty years of regretting every moment of all that, I did not – did not – wake up this morning full of remorse and self-hatred for breaking my sober efforts. I woke up with a smile, ‘cos I knew that I was gonna crack this, last night was just a controlled explosion. I’ve even just kept my sober clock running, as last night didn’t stop that. I know that seems to go against the grain in terms of I should start again – and I’ve been so helped by everything you’ve and you’ve all written, so much – but although feeling physically lousy I feel great and very positive. I don’t want to try and figure it out too much in case it breaks the spell, but again, I feel good. Still need my daily dose of using all the tools and support of course, can’t go without that. Perhaps some can comment of what’s happened to me, it really has arrived as a revelation. And I should say that I’m not deluding myself, that I can now drink at leisure with no risk etc. etc., I just feel that the tension has gone out of it some way, and I can even start to enjoy feeling sober. Thanks and love to all, Tezz