a change of venue

a change of venue

from honestjoy: “I leave Monday for vacation. I hit 30 days while I’m there, but I’m having self doubt about my ability to not drink while 20 people around me are boozing it up from 9am to midnight. I know I have to change MY focus, but I’m worried I will say ‘f-it’ and drink.”

me: you can keep doing everything that you’re doing now. it’s just a change of venue. it’s not a change of you 🙂
you read sober stuff, you listen to audios, you email twice a day, you have a big sober treat every day and you say to yourself “this is my treat for being sober.” and you wake up every morning gloating that you’re not hung over. and you sleep better, walk more, rest more, read books, and generally marvel at your loveliness.

honestjoy: “My mantra will be, ‘it’s a change of venue, not a change of me.’ I love it!!! Thanks. My sober treat today was making two recipes that made my house smell awesome: chicken soup and plum cake. I also ate a few chocolate candies and did a spin class that made me sweaty and feel good. I had a LOT of sober treats, lol!”


shameless commercial link. in my october stock box from the jewelry designer there are a few more ‘potential’ bracelets in silver. i only order a few at a time. celebrate your potential. you have potential because you’re sober.



I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Hi. I just signed up for your (Belle’s) emails. Just stopped by to share my story. I’m on day 7. Been trying to cut back for a very long time now. I’m currently struggling with a huge urge to have a glass of wine. The main thing stopping me is my husband in the next room. I don’t want to disappoint him again. Last week, I made it 4 days in a row sober (my longest in a while). Last Saturday, I planned on going out with friends. In the afternoon, while working on the house, my husband had a beer. I snuck some drinks of it. Then I went out to a friend’s with 4 beers in tow – that was all I planned on drinking. Well, lots of people brought wine, so after my beer was gone… Her house is a couple miles from mine, and apparently God or the Universe was watching over me, b/c I drove home safely. Once home, though, I face-planted into my dishwasher and my forehead was gushing blood. My husband woke up and freaked out. He brought me to the ER (5 stitches). This isn’t the first time in my life I’ve smashed my face due to drunkenness, but this was definitely the worst… b/c my husband had to wake up our young son to take with to the ER and he saw me like that, all bloody and slurry. I’m so disgusted with myself. I vowed to never drink again. Like you, Belle, I think about it constantly. I have had many a furtive drink, and at times have actually been proud of my ability to hide the amount I was drinking. I’m tired of hating myself. I can be better. I will be better. A better person, mother, wife, therapist. (Yes, ironically, I am a psychotherapist, helping others with their problems every day.) Thanks for listening.

    • O, i can and i will, i can relate to you. I do think that caregivers, whether by profession or personality, end up harming ourselves more before we catch a clue. All that giving, that emptying of ourselves to walk in someone else’s shoes, that empathic and vicarious suffering so others may heal, leaves our own mind and soul screaming for attention. All the face-plants (i have a lovely scar on my scalp) is our body’s way of screaming at us loud enough so we will stop listening to everyone else’s problems and pay attention to our own. Thank you for sharing your story. I know that will be the last trip to the ER for you. You are in my daily list of things i am thankful for. Sending you thoughts of courage.

  • Today will be day one, if I make it through without a drink. I want to break the habit and be sober for the rest of my life, but the wolf is stronger than me most of the time. I am looking for help and hope that this is the place I will find it.