it tastes good

from Lurker K:  

“Hello Belle, I have to admit that I’m definitely a lurker, mostly to try and convince myself that I’m not like everyone else. But deep down I know I am. I know my nightly alcohol is a problem. BUT it just tastes good! It’s not only the ‘forget my problems’ or ‘relax at the end of the day’ drink. It just TASTES good. Better than soda water & cranberry juice, iced tea or fruit water.”

me: alcohol tastes like a blackout, like waking up not feeling proud of yourself. you wouldn’t drink gasoline, no matter how much your brain lied to you and told you that it tasted good. you wouldn’t drink gasoline because “that shit is poison and no good comes from it.” wolfie can be such a bastard.




stay here. stay sober. stay true to you.
link >



online support works for me because …

Freedom: “I love it because it’s available whenever I need it. I don’t have to get childcare arranged in order to use it as a resource. It makes me realise that there are many thousands of us doing this around the world and that I’m not alone (like Wolfie likes to tell me). And it feels safer sometimes.”


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Hi Belle,
    Major lurker here. Read from the beginning up until you reached a year. You’re amazing.
    I found you through Catherine Gray. I’m a lot like you…years of wondering and thinking too much about drinking. Even when I choose to be sober more days than I drink, it takes up too much space in my mind.
    I want a clear head for a while, and some quiet. Ive even felt it while drinking…that it’s not really fun and that it’s just making me feel slow and stupid. But it’s so easy to keep hiding a few times a week when the impacts are mostly in my mind and my self esteem, which are notoriously shitty to begin with.
    I admire sober people and I’d like to live my life that way but it is so hard when the world is full of booze and excuses.