#authenticAugust – Day 12 – Continuous Days

Hi there 🙂 today i have a check-in space for you, where you can note how many continuous days you’ve had so far in August … 3 or 8 or working on today day 12 today?

you can put in a screen name when it asks for your ‘name’. and email addresses are NOT displayed (EVER). i also approve every comment before it is posted 🙂

you can say who you are, how many continuous days in august, and what’s the main reason for being sober as far as you’re concerned… #AuthenticAugust

ok, i’ll start …

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • I’m day 15 of continuous days sober in August….last drank on July 2nd….
    Drinking is one of the worst possible things I could do for myself ( especially my mental health)… so I’m continuing on this path.
    Life isn’t all wonderful and full of “pink clouds” but it’s sure such a relief not to wake up each morning with that horrible shameful, dread, guilty, heavy feeling that drinking gave me. That alone is reason to never touch the stuff again!
    Good to be here 👍

  • Last day drinking was June 30 2019. I’ve had moments when I think “fuck it” and then I crack open a flavored soda water and move on.

  • Today will be day 14 of being sober in August, and day 24 of being sober continuously. I can honestly say that I was in the contemplation stage of making the change to become sober for about the last 10 years. I would yo-yo from only one drink a day to a bottle of wine ++ a day to no drinks for a day or maybe two. I thought I could drink moderately. But after one drink, if there was more booze I would drink it. I have made many decisions, life decisions, so nothing would interfere with being able to drink in excess. For the longest time I thought I had a handle on the booze demon living inside me. Eventually I realized that the booze demon was controlling me! And that is not ok! I didn’t like some of the things I said and did when drunk. I didn’t like how my body felt for the one or two days after consuming to many drinks. I hated the way I looked in the mirror and the extra weight I was carrying. The weight a result from not only booze calories, but the fucking pizza I would order and eat before passing out for the night. I hated knowing that since I was about 15 years old the only extended period of time I was not high on pot or drinking was during my pregnancies. I know I now know started numbing myself because I have social anxiety. And I hate it. I’ve been in an altered state for too long. Yea, I maintain full time employment. Yea, I have a lovely home and all of mine and my family’s needs are meet. But reaching for booze to numb a hard day or to celebrate a good one is not what I want to do anymore. I want to FEEL.
    A week before I decided to end the madness, my teen daughter tried to suicide. My gawd, I thought, have I been so numb with booze that I failed to see how my baby was suffering? What other big things was I too numb to notice? So I stopped the booze. I don’t want to go back to it. Ever. And then last week my father had a heart attack and subsequent bypass surgery. I felt. I thought – oh boy did I ever think. But I didn’t drink.
    This is the first time I’ve ever commented on anything online, other than the odd Facebook stuff. This is the first time I have put my shit out there. It’s scary. I’m feeling anxious now as I type this. But it’s ok. Because I can feel.

  • 12 down in August and 16 continuous in July, so I’m Day 28. This time is different because I wasn’t coerced, guilted, blackmailed, or doing it begrudgingly. I read all of your emails, Belle! And I’ve started talking back/questioning my Wolfe instead of giving in and assuming he knows best. Because he’s actually a bit of an ass. I’m doing this because I like less anxiety, better sleep, and less guilt. And I’m finally tired of letting other people’s lives and opinions have ANY influence over me!

  • I’m on day 13 for August, plus since the 7th of July 2019, so I’m on day 38. I’m doing a 106 day challenge to see if I do better racing without having any alcohol involved during training. I have good days and not so good days. Today I’m sore, tired, and not wanting to start back with my job in the next week. I’m seriously thinking about a career change…and it’s not the alcohol talking. LOL! I still get very frustrated with the inability to lose weight. Between my training, eating the right things and in the right portions, and getting rid of over 5000 calories a week from alcohol, one would think that a few pounds down would be fair after 38 days. Whatever.

    Regardless, I do feel better, I sleep better, I dream better, I wake up better, I make better decisions, I don’t act like a drunk fool in front of my family (well, maybe just a fool). I have time to read, I have time to organize, I have time to plan and go on mini vacations…I have time for me, the one, true, me.

    • hi Andi, there is no weight loss in early sobriety, it can take about 200 days before the weight begins to come off. being sober is the foundation for all the other things, but it takes some time to be solidly sober 🙂 sober first, everything else builds on top of that. hugs

  • 13 days in August, 1100+ total. I’m here because I don’t want to forget where I came from. I’m inspired by stories of days in single and double digits. And because last week I dreamt I was drinking again. In my dream I was slipping back into daily drinking. I woke and didn’t know if it was a dream or real. I felt the horrible feeling I used to wake with every day: I have to stop this. I can’t keep doing this. I never want to really feel that way again. Life is far too good now.

  • 13 AuthenticAugust days. 95 days total. My anxiety has diminished. My patience with my twin 3 year olds is eternal. My pride in doing this keeps me going.

  • Day 3 I’m aiming for a 30 day challenge just to see how I feel , I’m really hoping to feel great and to want to continue with sobriety 🤞😊

  • Day 13 today, plus 31st July =14. Recently I had a sign of what the future will look like if I continue to poison myself by pouring alcohol down my neck. It couldn’t have been clearer if it was surrounded by neon lights and a big flashing finger pointing at it. I’m choosing to heed the sign and stop this self destruction, it only has one ending and I’m choosing to write my own chapter with a different ending. I’m actually starting to believe that I do have a choice and I’m choosing sunshine instead of dark clouds, a huge electrical storm (in my head) and black oblivion. I want to hold myself accountable and I’m feeling positive.

  • I have been sober 13 days in August..I am staying sober because I want to live the best, most authentic life I can. I want to feel life’s edges unanesthetised.

  • Day 2 and i am feeling so ready for this. Enough experiencing, i think i know the outcome of continuing as i have been. I want to feel better; my physical health, mental health, spiritual health. I want to like myself and feel the freedom that i know i can feel, i want to stop numbing my life, i want to live!!!!!! I did not come into this world with this addiction and my true self( which has never changed) is still here and not addicted. It’s time to let go of that idea of who i am. I am so ready to live my truth……

  • This is day 16 made up of 13 days of August (here inAustralia) and last 3 days of July. I wasn’t going to keep track of the days because a couple of times I’ve marked on the calendar the milestone dates and then when I fell off the wagon again I’d see them come up and feel shitty about my failure. So this time I’m not doing it, just taking 1 day at a time, waiting for delivery of my Not Today bracelet to help me through but so far I’ve been coping well! 🤞🤞🤞
    I’m very much looking forward to the day I no longer think about alcohol in relation to social events and linking it to having a nice night out or special dinner!! It’s tough in this country that is SOOOOOOOOOO focused on drinking as a national pastime and treats it like a kind of cultural norm!!!!!!!
    Anyway I’m prepared to fight against the tide and carry on😏

  • 12 continuous days in August. 172 continuous days total – I have a big treat planned for 180 (6 months! – staycation for 24 hours without my husband or 3 year old!). My main reason for being sober is to feel rested (better sleep), have more patience, feel proud, cope with everything so much better, connect with husband and kid more, connect with me more:)

  • I am on day 12 for August and day 105 on my journey for a total alcohol free life. Why am I dong this??? Because if I do not I will have a unhappy life , become unsatisfied with everything and be miserable. I know this for sure because 105 days ago that is where I was.

  • Thank you to all of you. Your experience helps me everyday. Let’s see: 15 days in June plus 31 in July and now 12 in August. I don’t count the days. I am just so damn pleased with being sober. Honestly, it’s been easy….and that’s the problem because, of course, there’s Wolfie saying, “Nothing, absolutely nothing relaxes like a glass of white. ” Thank god for Belle’s warning that this would happen so I was prepared to laugh at that wanting and reach for a spicy pineapple drink. The main reason for being sober? Because I feel good….in my body, in my emotions, in the morning, in the afternoon and in the evening. And when I am not feeling so good, I feel good knowing that I am not going to be feeling really shitty tomorrow.

    • you’ll find that the real magic comes in continuous sobriety 🙂 no more sips or slips. go from here (day 12) and keep on adding on. then see how you feel on day 60, you’ll email me and tell me how much better it is. promise!

  • So 12 days for August and 33 days sober. Oh hell……main reason for staying sober? Well I’m slightly less of a dick now, I can recall my conversations with my family, I don’t have to rewatch a movie cos I can’t remember the end, I don’t wake up and cringe at the drunken texts I sent or die seeing who I phoned and no frickin clue about it……but mainly cos I don’t waken up the next day feeling a shitty ashamed person…..I now waken up and feel proud that I chose to make a change, my family deserve better and I deserve better…..I chose me!! Belle….you’re smashing. The support from you and everyone else here is what keeps me strong and wanting to keep going! Thank you xx

  • 12 days in August, 28 all together,so I’m getting there. Don’t have any urge to drink and feeling fantastic! Love the encouragement from Belle and the community. Thanks .

  • i am 101 days sober today.
    12 days for August. life is complicated enough without alcohol fuelled anxiety. no thanks! hello future self, nice to meet you!

  • 49 days. Finding a ton of joy in creating a life where I am not constantly asked, do you want a drink. When I’m around situations surrounding old patterns it just gets sooo old. Having moved a year ago, I left all of that behind so I am fortunate to say it’s so much easier to live without Wolfie here than it was there!

  • 12 days for August. 223 days consistently. I like the idea of accountability even though I rarely think of drinking anymore. Not even on a hot summers day!

  • Day 12 in August, but day 35 total. Feels good to type that.
    I’ve had some tough moments, (feeling morose and acting bitchy) but still have a strong resolve in my head. Keeping up my sober supports, reviewing my list of drinking negatives every day really helps. I also have cut and pasted pieces of advice from quit lit books and sober coach notes that I review often.
    Thanks Belle!!!!

  • 10 days, I never really tried before…. Well, actually this is also my first time posting something in the internet, and then not even in my native tongue. A bonus while reading this blog is, that I learn a lot of new vocabulary 😅

  • 22 consecutive days – 12 in August – a milestone birthday yesterday when I went out for a meal with family and realised that having a drink I front of me wouldn’t have made any difference to the good time that we had.

  • 12 days in August , making total of 294. Last August I was up and down, but I kept trying and this August is very different 🙂 I plan to rethink it when I’m 75 🙂
    Still feel proud of myself every day.

  • Hi. I am on day 13 today and feel freaking amazing. I am doing this because I have not been me for close to 25 years. I have been hiding in a bottle with a wolf somewhere, bobbing up and down on the ocean with a tiny message inside that was screaming “HELP!”. Now I have smashed that bottle… it is currently being recycled and I am starting to feel like that playful, no qualms, uninhibited kid again who cruised through life without a drop of alcohol. I am FREE, I can be ME. the real me, not the fake one!!!

  • This is Day 56 (8 weeks!) for me: 12 in August. It wasn’t my intent to be sober for this long: in June, I had 3 non-consecutive days in a week of feeling terribly hungover, and I decided to take a little break from alcohol because I thought my liver would rebel and I might die. A day turned into 2, 2 days turned into a week, a week turned into 15 days (my longest stretch of sobriety in recorded history), and here I am. I feel like a fraud because I didn’t plan this. I also feel shortchanged because I didn’t have a proper goodbye to wine: I didn’t plan for this to be the end of our relationship. I am still here on Day 56 because I am beginning to glimpse what life can be like without constantly feeling physically sick, emotionally overwrought, guilty, sleepless, suffering from blackouts, and all the other consequences that occur when I poison my body and mind. I am regaining control, and I haven’t had any in many years. Thank you, Belle, and this online community, for your support and encouragement.

    • I have the same “not planned” fraud feeling! I met Belle on my day 1 when in Knoxville this May and never intended to quit… but here I am on day 95… feeling amazing but also kind of guilty that it’s been easier than I thought would be. Too proud to break my streak though.

  • Day 1 again. I can’t seem to get a strong foothold. Going to research more tools. I want to quit so I don’t waste days and months and years of my life being not present.

  • I had 9 days and then had a drink at dinner over the weekend. I realized after I had the drink that all it did was make my head fuzzy and then gave me a headache. My main reasons for being sober is to be free from the thoughts and feel proud and authentic.

  • HELLO, I am on day 12 of 12 in August, day 29 contiguous overall. Getting ready to celebrate 30 tomorrow! Not without some restarts but I prefer not to do Day ONE again.

    My main reason for being sober is to feel better, not wonder what I did last night, not have my adult kids tell me about complete conversations we had . . . that I don’t remember, not need a smoother outer at 1:30 p.m. (or earlier, only 1:30 because I suffered up until then) because of the night before, be in integrity with myself and God. How about knocking the heck out of the day, laughing at a comedy show when I’m not drinking, going home from said comedy show and not waking up hungover the next day.

    What about just feeling really good about myself because I am living in the here and now and learning how to deal with the goods and the bads without self medicating either direction. And then there’s that.

    Thank you Belle – Elise too!

  • I’m on day 12; I was sad when I couldn’t check in at all during July … I’ve taken on Authentic August because I feel really, really distressed and horrible about my inability to find a job. If I don’t fail at Authentic August, at least there is something I’m not failing at.

    • It does forge new neural pathways! Quite frankly I’m astonished at the change in me. Never dreamed I’d be able to do it! I’m a year and 12 days in and it’s quite fantastic 😆

  • I have had 12 sober days in August. My second sober August in a row for the last 20something years. My main reason to be sober is to be out of the metaphorical sewer of depression, hiding, lying and all the other bad smelling self-harm down there. My main reason to stay sober? I’ve learned so many things so far … I just wonder too much what else might be possible.

  • Day 115 continuous. Day 12 in August. Headed for a 6 month goal. I tell people I stopped drinking. Not that I quit drinking. I did it mostly for my health. So nice to feel good in the morning.

  • All 12 days of August and 71 continuously sober :). I feel better every day physically and mentally and want to continue to do so. Have now managed a celebration and visits to the pub sober, next a weeks holiday to conquer but I will as I want to be present and enjoy and remember every minute. Thank you Belle x

  • I’m on day 1 🙁 i had a good few days under my belt then a random slip at the weekend. I don’t even feel like drinking but i want to put it in writing here like i did with dry July because once i did that, I stopped thinking about it which was so liberating!

  • 57 days continuous. 12 days in August. My goal is to get to January 1. Which will be day 199 for me. And then make a new goal. But in the interim: I have made much smaller goals. Next up is day 60 this week. Then day 66 since “they” say that’s actually when habits form and take hold. Then day 76, because that’s the end of the month…. and so on… I like being alcohol free. I have finally started telling people “I don’t drink” and it feels good.

  • I’m on day 12 for August, all days sober so far this month! that’s my plan. i figure i’ll drink again when i’m 72. and between now and then, i just have too much to do. main reason for being sober? so that i when i wake up in the morning i don’t hate my life …