the thing isn’t in the thing


the thing you’re looking for isn’t IN the thing you’re craving. the thing you want to come FROM alcohol isn’t IN alcohol.

To hear this message, play below. nothing to download. just press play.


After you listen to this clip, you’ll want to go immediately to the podcast subscription page, look at the BONUS PHOTO I’m sending to new subscribers, and be sure to sign up before Friday March 15, 2019 … the link is here >


After you listen to the audio, you can tell me: have you ever had a similar feeling of ‘i want it. i want it’ like i talk about in this episode?

view from the dining room window monday afternoon … no leaves on the trees yet


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Belle, I discovered your blog on Day 0. Thank God I did. I spent Days 1 and 2 reading your months one and two, as well as your excellent book – which I’ve started to reread. I’ve just popped on here as I don’t want to lurk but to also share some of my experiences.
    I’m on Day 18 now – it’s been fine, but I’ve been here many times before. I’ve had many Day 10s, Day 30s, Day 100s and even a couple of Day 1000s. I am a textbook binge drinker. I drink too much, quit for a bit – maybe even for a few months if I’ve scared myself enough – then that voice calls and I’m in the car off to the supermarket to stock up.
    However, and it’s a big ‘however’ – I’ve finally made peace with the fact that a sober life is not just what I need to stay happy and healthy, but it’s also what I want.
    Three things from your blog posts have resonated deeply.
    1. Your one-minute message, ‘The thing is not in the thing.’ Boom! Of course it’s not. How could I not have seen that before? I keep repeating this to myself like a mantra.
    2. Wolfie is the voice that urges me to drink out of nowhere. It’s an insidious voice that won’t let up until I get my keys and go off in search of gin or wine, or whatever. Now that voice has a name, all I have to do is say ‘ Fuck off, Wolfie’ and I’m sorted.
    3 Alcohol is a thief. It steals your money, your dignity, your health, friends, family, job and self-respect. It gives nothing back in return. Seeing it for what it really is, I’m disgusted by it.
    So, thank you for being here, Belle. I check in with you every day and will continue to treasure the support I find from you and others on this site. Thank you for being there. Xxx

  • Definitely have that feeling. It’s like a yearning for comfort/ soothing but it comes from a deep place . And alcohol certainly seemed to hit that spot…. initially anyway. So for me I think it’s learning what the desire is about/ the need and then about finding authentic ways of “satisfying” or meeting what that is. (Genuine relationships, recognising my value, looking at triggers and difficult feelings). Initially I suppose it’s recognising that alcohol was an attempt to feel better but that it actually wasn’t solving anything. That’s the lie and the deception. Once that bit really sinks in then the craving for it can be dealt with easier.
    Well that’s my own experience anyway..