what did i say? what do i have to delete?
email from trigirl: “I woke up promising never to drink again, Every Single Day for probably 10 years. I’d wake up between 3 and 4, toss and turn, then get up when my husband’s alarm went off at 5:30 and pretend that I felt ok as I tried to piece together the previous evening. What did I say? Did we finish watching that movie? Did I talk on the phone or text people? I’d better check to see if I need to delete anything from Facebook! Today is the day — I’m not drinking wine tonight, this is it!! If I had anything remaining in the second bottle, I’d dump it down the sink. My resolve would crumble as the day progressed. I would replace the bottles at about 3:00 pm and start the whole thing all over again. It’s absolutely horrible to be stuck in that place, and I don’t ever want to go back there!
I went to an Elton John concert the other night. It was my second sober concert after watching Coldplay last year. On the way to the venue, I told my husband there are times when I still wish I could drink like a “normal” person. But I didn’t miss it when we got to the concert and avoided the giant lines for ID checks to get the wristband required to stand in the other giant lines to purchase alcohol. I watched a couple in the seats in front of us come and go as they repeatedly made the bathroom/beer run and a woman dancing around with two drinks in her hand who could have easily been home in her living room listening to a CD. It was a bonus to wake up with a clear memory of an enjoyable evening, tired but not hungover!”[she is penpal 1942 and she’s on day 541 today]
this is painting 336 here.
you are open to new possibilities. you’re open to changes. you’re out of the booze elevator in looking around for opportunities. this is you. it’s sunny here. open minded. open-hearted.