who says productive is the goal?

email from Little Miss M (day 81): “I’m sick – yuck. I hadn’t been feeling well the past week but it finally knocked me out where I spent most of yesterday and today in bed. I hate spending days sick in bed because I feel like I’m wasting time when I should be doing something productive. But I know I have to take care of myself by taking the downtime for my body to fight whatever it is I’ve got. But anyway. Another sober weekend in the books!! Hoping to feel better tomorrow.”

me: haha. thanks wolfie for giving you a hard time that even when sick you can’t rest because it’s not productive 😉 who said productive was the goal? if you’re not feeling great, you take care of you. it’s a forced situation. I think the universe is telling you something 🙂

Little Miss M: “Belle I love your comment *who said productive was the goal?* I guess I never thought of that. In my mind productive is always the goal because if you’re not being productive, then you get nowhere and going nowhere is definitely not the goal. When I was drinking and hungover and I felt too awful to be productive, I used that as an excuse to give myself “downtime”. Now that I’m no longer drinking and hungover, I need to find other healthy reasons to allow myself to have downtime because a run down, sick person also goes nowhere. Just something I need to work on…” [update : she’s on day 89 today]


Exit 348

this is from the original set of paintings Mr.Belle did back in August 2018, from the folder that i went into, and pulled out a painting and posted it… This is one of the ones that he never thought anyone would see…  (also with multiple exits on it). if you’re a true collector, you’ll need one of these ‘early’ ones. hahaha. ok, that sounds cheesy even to me …


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012