yesterday i made rhubarb muffins that didn’t come out as i’d expected. I had a perfect vision in my mind: good texture sort of like a cupcake but loose like a muffin, sweet but not too sweet, tangy rhubarb, streusel topping.
i had a perfect vision in my mind of quitting drinking: i’d put the cork in the bottle, fill my days with knitting and triathlons and i’d finally defrost my freezer.
i was sort of winging the recipe for the muffins, i took my favourite way to do something that i already know (blueberry muffins) and thought i’ll just stick some rhubarb compote in the middle of the batter. you know, raw dough, rhubarb jammy stuff, more raw dough, then bake. that’ll work, right?
i was sort of winging my quitting drinking. i didn’t read up on it, i just tried to give it up. didn’t ask for help, didn’t see what anyone else had done. didn’t think about how quitting drinking without ACCOUNTABILITY was going to leave me alone in my head.
so i bake the muffins, they swell up in the pan (ok, that’s easy, i can put in less batter next time). and then the rhubarb starts to leak out. (ok, i can deal with that.)
so i tried to quit drinking, alone in my head, i got 5-7-9 days and then fell over. i was certain i wasn’t ‘addicted’ so why was it so hard to quit? oh you mean i have to ask someone for support and accountability. no thanks. i’d rather fall over again. really? no. but really?
the muffins come out of the oven. smell good. a bit leaky. fine. then i go to take one out of the pan.
and the top comes off.
the top of the muffin separates from the base.
because there’s a layer of wet jam there, too thick, created layers, the top never stuck down.
does it sound like quitting drinking? are you tired of having your head come off?
are you tired of thinking about drinking?
get a cookbook, watch a video.
then check with an actual someone who’s done it before, see what they think will work.
then try that. [listen to this message as an audio]
Where are they now?
|this painting available