focus on you first

focus on you first.

there is a ‘chat’ feature on my site (here in the top-right corner), that you can use if you have a technical question, can’t find something, or are wondering why you can’t find the ‘forum’ on my site …

here’s a transcript from a chat from yesterday.

Me: Hi there, can I answer a question for you?

Chat: Good morning. Is this Belle?
Me: It is

Chat: Nice to meet you. you have a great site! It’s been a LOT of help
Me: well that’s lovely 🙂

Chat: Do you ever put sober people together to be penpals?
Me: My site is about one-on-one support, me working with penpals. you’re going to find it most useful when someone is (much) further along than you. There are lots of other sites with forums, i’m not sure they work as well as people think they should…

Chat: I’m sure you are right. I just read your email with someone on day 1 … I believe they and I are on the same day. Thought maybe we could support each other as well.
Me: Right, the support you need is from someone who’s done it successfully who can help you navigate the hard stuff. you can’t really help someone else until you’ve got your own sobriety figured out. it’d be like two people who don’t speak english trying to learn together without an anglophone present 🙂

Chat: Makes sense
Me: also, when the other person relapses, it can make you focus on them, and it makes it seem like relapse is contagious. to begin, your focus should be on you 🙂 you have lots to learn. and then you can help others 😉 sober first and THEN you can take on the world!!

Chat: I know I have relapsed because of other people before so what you’re saying makes sense. It does help to have someone in your corner though. This “getting sober” thing is a very lonely road. I appreciate your help!
Me: your addictive wolfie voice will tell you that you should focus on others, instead of focussing on you. this happens all the time. your addictive voice does this ON PURPOSE so that drinking will seem like a good idea.

Chat: I’m sick of Wolfie
Me: i have some links to supports that might help if you want me to send them to you, just need your email address.

Chat: Wolfie is selfish and a liar. 😉 I do get your emails, and appreciate them! I won’t keep you any longer. I just was thinking about Day 1 again.

[signed off]

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I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012