small notes about christmas (1-4)


you don’t drink at christmas. you’ve tried drinking before, doesn’t suit you. today is a regular monday or tuesday. it’s just like any other day. it’s a day when you don’t drink. really, to add alcohol (addictive depressant) to an already stress-y day, would be madness. and waking up feeling proud of yourself is worth doing. even if you’ve never done it before. now’s the time 🙂



it’s not all sunshine. there will be illness and temper tantrums. there will be burned food. there will be grief as you celebrate without someone. all these emotions exist. you don’t pour alcohol on them. you’re having a sober christmas this year. even if. even if all the things happen. even if the HGTV event you’ve been trying to pull off turns into a crazy-house. even if. you can make a list of all the things that go well compared to the things that fly sideways. you showing up, you being here, that counts. write that one down twice.

make some time to listen to the christmas audio here.



email from Fridgkit (day 24 today): “OMG! I woke up this morning finally realizing what I’ve been trying to do the past few weeks, besides staying sober. I’ve been trying to find a way to reconnect with other people (or maybe to connect with them for the first time) without losing me. When I drink, I lose me. I thought losing me was the way to be with other people, but it’s not. The way to be with other people is to be there: maybe grumpy, maybe withdrawn, much less than outgoing and perky, but there. Sounds easy, but I know it’s not.  It’ll take a lot more work and a lot more of telling Wolfie to go to hell.  But I’ll use every device I can to get there.”


you have potential because you’re sober.
comes in goldsilver and purple-speckled


in sydney, australia it’s 7pm on christmas day which reminds me to say this: you will want to watch for post-goal-letdown. you do a big thing, then you need to plan some kind of treat for afterwards. your head will come in and say “but i deserve this” and your head is right, you do deserve something, but it’s not alcohol that you want. you want a piece of raspberry pie, or to sit with a cup of tea and flip through your new magazine. you want to leave some of the cleaning for tomorrow. you want to soak in the bathtub and then get out and put on your new fluffy slippers. you didn’t get slippers this year? fine, write them on your list to go buy first thing tomorrow morning. your treat for doing this big thing. this sober at christmas thing. you can send me a photo of your sober post-christmas slippers. i’ll be watching for you 🙂


it’s only early in paris, husband is still asleep. no gift opening yet. no new photos taken yet 🙂 original art from mr.belle here. merry hoho to you.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012