is it everyone around you? or is it you?

Here’s what I know about the voice in our head that says
'Drink Now' 

It likes to make us focus on other people
And other people’s problems
Instead of ourselves
I can’t be sober because he isn’t
I can’t be sober because they aren’t


I can’t be sober because my job is too hard
Because my husband still drinks
Because I have an autistic child
I can’t be sober because of other reasons
External to me

You’ve heard thoughts like this before
What you may not know is that
It’s all Wolfie
It’s all the voice that says
'Drink Now'
Distracting you
From you taking care of you
Which is the goal

So just for today
When you find yourself focussing on what someone else is or isn’t doing
Stop for a second and wonder
Is this Wolfie, winding me up
So that drinking will seem like a good idea?

Because if it is
Then you're on to his shit ...


this is 'exit' painting #276 here in chinese (mandarin)
(yes, the tree decorated now!)

AP: "this paitning ​​hopeful. Like the calm after the storm where the sun starts to peak through the clouds. It’s very calm and serene. The mandarin reminding me that I’m entering foreign territory ie being sober."

snickerdoodle: ​"​​​This one appeals to me more for whatever reason. What I see looking at this is restoration. Scraping off decades of layers of paint to find and restore the beauty of the original wood piece."

​Inspired: "I see the sun rising on a day where the clouds are lifting and the sky is clearing to a beautiful blue hue of hope."

tierrazul: ​"​In number 276 I actually see the person leaving the elevator - pretty cool."

newme50: "​I do see a peaceful beach, but it's not an "Up North" beach like I'm used to. It's more of a Miami Beach vibe with the turquoise and coral hues. The beaches we visit in Michigan have deep blue water, dark green pine trees and gray rocks alongside the sandy beaches. It's all beautiful to me though definitely a different feel about them."

TS: "276 looks like what I see when looking out a rainy window. Beyond the blur, our exit has always been there."

C: "​I see a calm Hawaiian daybreak where the sun is rising and the ocean is still a gentle blue against an even gentler blue sky and soft sand. A new beginning. A completely new view and fresh horizon. Exit the old. Seize the new. Step out of the habits of the past. Begin again."

Alana: "276 reminds me of my childhood on a sailboat or catamaran in the gulf of mexico, no phone or technology to keep me occupied, just me daydreaming, sleepy from the sun, watching the colors of the ocean shift from the sun and the waves."


​link to original sober art, here


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012