there is a continuum of drinkers in the world

From KB:

“Belle – With a heavy heart, I want to tell you that I’m unsubscribing to your blogs, emails, etc. More and more, I find your emails frustrating and “cutesy” when the reality is that alcoholism is a disease that is trying to kill me. Its not a “wolfie”.  I actually like wolves. Wolves are beautiful sentient creatures without any reason to kill humans dead for no reason.
… I bought your PDF of the first year of your sobriety, which I cannot get through. The worst for me was reading about your first few months. The description of having 3 glasses of wine and having a bit of a headache so you were tired of that. To me, that doesn’t seem like a problem at all similar to the one I have. I have been a follower for over a year, but honestly, I have gotten more in 2 months at AA than I have gotten in all time I spent reading your materials. 
More and more, I have begun to realize that your blog is for the housewife who maybe has a few too many glasses of wine at dinner. And is worried about her waistline, and so wants to cut back. Much like I worry about how too much chocolate might not be that great for me, but yea, sometimes I have too much. But chocolate is not going to kill me. Alcohol is. 

I wish you all the luck on your [new] book. I hope that it works out. But I also hope that you take my suggestion from a few months ago to heart and make it clear that this book may not help someone who is a “real” alcoholic.  
I do not want to say that I have found nothing helpful in your blogs and emails. I have. But I believe that something like AA or outpatient treatment is what is necessary for the alcoholic.”

me:  hi there, I’m sorry that you’re finding me frustrating and cutesy. on my blog, I don’t identify that I’m an alcoholic. my blog is [therefore perhaps] geared more for ‘high bottom’ drinkers who aren’t really represented in the media. AA works for tons of people, but you’re right, those of us drinking 3-4 glasses of wine a night every night often don’t feel like we fit in AA.

we do, though – all of us – have the booze voice in our head that says that drinking is a good idea. and quitting drinking is brutally hard no matter how much we drink (I’ve discovered).
is being a sober penpal going to be enough for everyone? no. but for some people it will be.

will penpal+blogs be enough for everyone? no. but for some people it will be.

will penpal+blogs+audios+jewelry be enough for everyone? no. but for some it will be.
will all these things and meetings (AA or otherwise) and therapy and medication and outpatient and rehab work for everyone? no unfortunately there are some people where this still won’t be enough.
there is a continuum of drinkers in the world.

some things work for some people.

what I think works best is a collection of things, and it might look like this [for you]: 5% help from blogs, 10% help from personalized emails, 30% help from medication, 50% help from meetings + 5% secret sauce … or whatever. But the problem is there’s no ONE prescription for everyone.

your sober toolbox will look completely different from every other person on the planet. because it’s yours. it’ll suit you. it’ll be the things that you need.
I can’t write a book or a blog for any one kind of audience, you’re right. I can only write what worked for me. and that’ll resonate with some people and it won’t with others.

but don’t let wolfie tell you there’s only one way to be sober. it’s about finding the right combination of bits for you.

you have used a lot of bits so far: my blog + other blogs + emailing me + jewelry + sober jumpstart class + AA. perhaps it’s THAT combination that has worked for you.
and you know, I’m ok with my blog or emails only helping you 5% if that’s what it turns out to be.
because a 5% tool is a still a pretty good tool to have.
many hugs from me



stay here. stay focussed. stay sober. on the original art page here > link

original art link here.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • I have to say I find it rather a shame that your blog could be in anyway just suited to a housewife who just has a few too many wines per night. However I guess we are all entitled to our opinion.
    I certainly wouldn’t have gone through all this heartache, struggles and sheer turmoil to give up drinking had I “ just been having a few too many drinks”. And I’m one of the unfortunate people for whom AA did not work out even though I went for over 2 years and couldn’t stop drinking. Despite having a faith; despite working the steps; despite making some very close friends and supports. And I’m so grateful to all those who helped me…. I guess we all do have different looking toolboxes.
    I do think it is unhelpful to compare ourselves though- high /low bottom . Whatever. What we have in common is the addictive tendency to alcohol and all its false promises and so I guess we all need to work together to fight against that horror.