This message was sent to subscribers by email while i was travelling at the beginning of september.
tuesday afternoon, 4:16 p.m. we’ve done some work, gone for lunch, listened to podcasts sitting facing the water. there will be corn on the cob in my future today. it’s not something I would cross town to get, and I don’t ever leave the house at 11 pm on a sunday to go find more (like i did with booze). but corn on the cob is a perfect lovely summer treat. that and blueberries from Nova Scotia. and cheerios. and nice cow-y vermont milk.
my inbox, tuesday part 2:
Andpops (day 43): “Yesterday was hard. But I didn’t drink. Friend and her baby are visiting. My BF was so cute with her baby and it made me sad because I know that he and I aren’t going to have kids together. Normally that emotion would have been my cue to bury my feelings in the bottle of wine. Instead I had to deal with it and eventually the feeling started to go away. At first I wanted to run away and go to bed. I read your emails while sitting on the toilet and it helped. I stopped being mad at myself and just tried to let the uncomfortable feelings move on … if I had been drinking, I know I would have gotten sad and been all sorry for myself for not having a kid even though, in reality, I’m in a really good place about all of that, and the occasional feeling of sadness comes and goes relatively quickly…”
me: it’s nice to see someone adorable with a baby, but also because it shows that they’re a lovely human. I’m good with babies 🙂 I’m a lovely human. I don’t have any babies in my life. I can still be lovely with babies 🙂 it sounds like you did the right things, including bathroom reading!
andpops: “This was super helpful. I think because I’m always expecting to feel bad about the no baby thing, I end up feeling bad. I think that what I truly felt about seeing BFwith the baby was love — and you’re so right.”
AF: “I don’t think the art demeans anything [from this morning’s post]. I love the paintings and feel they enhance your work — not detract! Someone will buy that and it will remind them forever of how far they’ve come or remind them of where they want to be — either way, it’s helpful. Please encourage Mr. B to keep them coming!”
SmallTownMoon: “Hi Belle, I’m so ashamed and so mad at myself. I drank again last night. I just called a rehab center and am going to check in. I don’t know what else to do. I’m so so sick of this. So down and feel like I’ve hit my bottom. I know I’m better than this. I have so much potential and things to give to this world and my family but I can’t do it like this. I want better for myself and family. My boys ages 13 and 11 tell me I drink too much. That is so painful when I’m sober but when I’m drinking I don’t care. I blow them off. I hate myself for that. They have an alcoholic mother. I never thought I would be this. Life can be so much better. Thanks for always listening.”
Unpuzzlingpatti (day 247): “Hi Belle! I don’t email very often – but I love and appreciate every single email you send. I have a huge amount of respect for your honesty and disclosure of different points of view. (I am referring to the email that does not approve of your promotion of Mr. B’s art.) I respect that person’s opinion and would like to share mine. What you do is PRICELESS!!!!! Mr. B is your husband, so he is PRICELESS by association! I hope and pray that you both are financially blessed beyond your wildest dreams. Also, I hope and pray that you never stop doing this wonderful work that you are doing!!!”
Mindfulme (day 301): “If you’re taking a vote, I love seeing you husband’s art. It is another carrot to read your emails. What will the painting look like today? Do I like this one? I’m not feeling any pressure to buy. It’s like a free art show. And like good art, each piece evokes something new. 💕”
Hx: “Man I love your correspondents (and even when I thoroughly disagree with their point of view — like I do with J — I love that you make space for all views, there is no CultSpeak, or AllowedOpinionsOnly.”
Goofie Roofie (day 124): “Love your email etracts — including praise and criticisms — you are amazing and I appreciate the fact that you include all types of comments.
original art – Exit the booze elevator – this is painting #165