This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #226 previously sent out to sober podcast members.
When Lindsay Lohan got out of rehab (for the 6th time?), Oprah made a reality series about her. When i watched Lindsay be interviewed, in a special clip to promote the new show, I wanted to leap through the screen and speak FOR her, to answer the questions Oprah was asking in a completely different way …
This podcast is me reading my original blog post about this, with interjections of what I think about it today.
And I nearly make myself cry at the end.
all i ask is that you put in a message below in the comments.
If you’d like to listen to the whole 20 minute podcast, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.
Question:
If you were in Lindsay Lohan’s place, how would you have answered Oprah’s question? [I will not moderate posts that are shitty to either Oprah or Lindsay, that’s not the point of this … 🙂 please be kind.]
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(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).
*Links: Extract of the Oprah interview on YouTube. The original blog post.
I think I would have said that I drank at first because it was the done thing to do when progressing to adulthood and no one ever talked to me about it’s negative effects – everyone drank so i drank unfortunately just that bit more than others so that it made me ‘a bit wild’ – a party girl – not boring or run of the mill……
Then as I got older I wanted to hold onto that idea of rebellion and fight feeling ‘middle aged’ so continue being the party girl (how sad!) ! But booze actually made me ill and down and knackered – so much for fighting middle age!
So now my act of rebellion is stepping away from ‘the norm’ , the alcohol trap as Jason vale et al. call it – and learning to live a different way that doesn’t involve poisoning myself – learning to be free, despite the constant bombardment all around us and ‘tooling up’ to achieve that!
Sarah day 50 x
Umm ; I guess that alcohol makes me feel better to begin with; but it sort of tricks you into believing you can’t live without it. Learning to live without it is like trying to remove a live being from your brain that refuses to go and despite trying to ignore it; it gets between everyone and everything that is telling you otherwise
the alcohol does trick you into thinking you can’t live without it. and then the alcohol starts to lie to you and tell you that you NEED it. and you don’t. and you remove that ‘live being’ with support and tools. and that’s what you’re doing now 🙂
Great Podcast. Thanks Belle. Oprah is a big Eckhart Tolle fan. I believe “dis-ease” is a term she may have picked up from him. Further study of his writings should enlighten her to the fact that is was actually her own ‘dis-ease’ in this situation that led her to use this platform to expose then judge (knowingly or unknowingly) someone so vulnerable and damaged by intoxification, in a way that severely lacked Oprah’s own innate wisdom, courage and compassion. Such careless use of power is incredibly destructive. And demonstrates the worst kind of delusion and arrogance. Let’s hope she’s recognized and amended this approach since.
Thanks again.
Warm regards.
Sobe the Lion
Day 89.
???
The internet is an amazing forum. My hope is someone on Oprah’s social media review team is scanning ‘all things Oprah’ on the internet, sees this and shares the website: http://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com with her so she can become educated and ask a more informed question for the next guest dealing with alcoholism.
from Sober in St Pete: Loved what you said if you had been asked the question by Oprah. I would add that we use alcohol as a coping mechanism. I use it to block any type of feeling — one of the big ones was People Pleasing. I was in many social settings that I was afraid to say no …
I would talk about how booze started out as a way to have fun, to cut loose from everyday routine. It was my liquid confidence, it made me feel free. Every time I drank I wanted that feeling of freedom, and escape from boredom of everyday life. And it worked like magic…for a while, until drinking became the routine of everyday life. So I stopped drinking. Life was good and new again, and then it wasn’t….then came the mundaneness of everything again, so I’d start to drink again to break free, and there is my cycle of destruction.
So now I’m learning to break free from that cycle.
Your response was perfect, Belle. If only Lindsay Lohan could open her mouth and your words could come out. I’m not sure I’m even at a point in my sobriety where I could answer it that effectively. She was still very young and unsophisticated, clearly lacking any real mentoring in the ‘what now’ phase. So many people think, ok you (or I) quit, so we’re done! We know that’s just not true, that’s when the real work begins for those who choose to make the journey. As for Oprah, hopefully her underground network doesn’t have its sights on me, I watched her for years and I swear she’d be interviewing someone, and I’d say out loud, oh yes, Oprah, let’s here more about you! Thanks, Belle
My heart breaks for Lindsay. I can’t emagine going through everything in the public eye. That would fuel my wolfie. I would want to hide in my room and drink to numb it all. Her lifestyle must make it a thousand times harder for her. If she could remember who she was when she was under age. Before adults started shoving drinks and drugs at her, assaulting her innocence. And then having to go on TV for more abuse?! What a dagger in the heart! Where are the people loving and protecting her. Guess they are all under wolfies control at some level. Wolfie loves a sacrifice!!!
This is all so fucked up!!
Scrappy
I saw all the interview and I agree with you Belle. It is not supportive nor does it seem to be very helpful for other boozers trying to stay sober. It is just entertainment. No wonder she didn’t make it that time either. I wonder how she is doing now, after 3 years.
If I had to answer Oprah’s Question: “What is the dis-ease in you that makes you drink?” I would reply:
~ I think it’s not so much the dis-ease IN us, but rather the dis-ease AROUND us. Alcohol is everywhere! Most of us are brought up with it, watching those around us use it, so what are we supposed to think? We then become adults and drink alcohol, and while we watch some around us fall and crash, there are those of us who seem to have it together. But really we don’t. Nobody does. Alcohol is a drug plain and simple and not meant to be in our bodies. Back to the question – what makes me coming back to drinking? – it’s hard to stay away from something that almost everyone around us says is OK. It’s hard to say no to something that everyone around us tells us that we don’t have a problem with, that we are just being overdramatic about. It’s hard to be the different one, going against what is deemed as normal in society.
Wow everything you just said…. it’s so normal and scarily part of life. I too grew up with alcohol all around me believing it was normal. So not a clear and healthy way to live. I taught my kids the same …I want a do over!!
Yep..you think it’s your friend because it makes all the bad stuff go away temporarily, then when you sober up, everything is that much worse…so you get stuck in a vicious cycle. In the beginning it’s a bitch to stop, and see anything from a different point of view. But once you do, and you’ve got some time, you can see it for what it really is, and you never want to go back. Takes work, patience, and determination.
Booze does lie…it sure made me love it…. and even after how horrible I’ve felt in my relationship with it…. I still love it. I still miss it. As much as my last love.
I have to admit that if it were a couple of years ago I would have felt the need to go into a detailed explanation of ‘how I got here’ and would have ended up feeling ashamed . Your answer is perfect. It is honest and succinct instead of a dissertation on why drinkers are weak and broken…. LJC
I think I would have said to Oprah, “Everyone’s addiction is different, and there are many varied reasons that people drink. I started thinking that drinking was helping me feel better, so I continued. When it wasn’t helping, I drank more, because more would help me feel better, so I thought. But it didn’t. But I got into a vicious merry-go-round, drinking, hating myself, and then drinking again to make it all go away.”