In this audio, I call bullshit on a bunch of excuses. I can’t be sober in this way, my support must look like ‘this’, I can’t practise my skating routine on the path at the park. All not true.

[be sure to scroll down for photos]



August 28, 2019:
after you listen, leave a NEW comment below and tell me what you heard (in your own words).
Is there something in the audio that you haven’t heard before, or today it struck you differently?

I’ll send a podcast bundle worth $50 to the 14th new comment.

Because comments are held in moderation before they appear, you won’t know how many other people have left a new comment. I’ll announce the winner later today 🙂




support painting today, august 28, 2019

painting #404, here


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • First I am not the 14th… sad to say…. But the truest thing is that the excuses we use are such a waste of time. There is never a good time to give up drinking. There are always a million reasons why it is not today. I am SO SO relieved that I am quite far away now, from having to make that decision again. It’s a hard decision to make. it only gets harder. So stop today.

  • God that him home belle, and I’m just sick to death of the excuses conjured up in my head as to why now is not the right time to stop drinking, despite all my attempts and having managed it before with joyous results. Health and life changing results. Thank you for the kick up the arse xxxxx

  • I am dipping in and out of AA with a fair degree of reluctance. There is a women’s meeting with a really nice vibe 2 minutes walk away on a Saturday morning – ticks all my requirements. But I can’t handle the cult mentality and I find the patriarchal underpinning of AA annoying. Bullshit? I’m still not sure

  • I hear someone who wants the rewards of being sober but doesn’t want quit yet. That was me – just wanted to not have hangovers or regrets or black outs but I still wanted to be able to drink when I wanted. It’s taken some time but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t have both and I’m finally choosing to ditch the booze and I’m learning that there is joy in doing the daily work.

  • Great message! The excuses told me that those people are dodging AA meetings for all the WRONG reasons…I love your message, Belle, if we wait until all of our starts are aligned, we’ll never see the moon…

  • I completely get this hits the spot, been thinking about this sober business done a few days but this hits home X

  • I’m struggling right now. It’s good to hear an honest message to stop the bullshit and get back on the train. Wolfie is so strong. But I’ve done it before so I can do it again. Thanks.

  • I am on day 21, and when I hear this I think of “patchwork” sobriety, whatever works for me, works for me. I did a little AA, didn’t like it, stopped. I do other things. I pull a Medicine Card every day. I do it differently than the one million other times when I tried to quit. If you can do it, I can do it. I’ve read that a hundred times in quit lit. I can do this.

  • I do this with everything. It needs to be perfect, I don’t seek support unless the scenario is as I’ve imagined it. If it doesn’t feel right. Then wolfie comes in with the “no one can help you, you might as well drink, hide, berate yourself, forget it, you’ll always be broken”.

    I don’t even start cooking until I’ve got the kitchen completely clean and ready…I’m serious I do this with everything. Ouch. Thanks for calling that out.

  • es ist soooo toll, das ich nun seit 94 Tagen keinen Alkohol mehr getrunken habe. Aber mein Auslöser Alkohol zu trinken ist immer noch da. Mein Perfektionismus und meine hohen Erwartungen an mich selbst. Ich benutzte Alkohol um all das weg zu spühlen. Nun ist es Zeit zu lernen auf Dauer ohne Alkohol locker zu bleiben und immer wieder neu zu sehen: Ich bin gut so wie ich bin. Mut zur Lücke wird mein neues Motto

    [belle: i’ll add in the translation as presented by google! we have lots of german readers 🙂 welcome!]
    It’s sooooo great that I have not drunk alcohol for 94 days. But my trigger to drink alcohol is still there. My perfectionism and my high expectations of myself. I used alcohol to rinse all this away. Now it is time to learn in the long run without alcohol to stay relaxed and to see again and again: I am good as I am. Courage to the gap becomes my new motto