This is a clip from Sober Podcast Episode #207 sent out yesterday to sober podcast subscribers.
“I don’t walk in dog shit. I’m taking care of me.” (sent to me by MelMel as a possible bumper sticker)
Yes, that’s an actual quote from the podcast. Here’s what happened.
J sent me this: “I often feel like I’m missing out when I see people (my family, etc) enjoying alcohol and having fun. It makes me feel a little sad. Will this go away? How can I change the way I think about it and my feelings around it? I feel like it’s yet another contributor to my being a misfit.”
and my answer, to address our feelings of ‘misfit’ is to engage in a bit of reframing.
You can listen to a clip from this podcast and add your comments below. My blog allows anonymous comments. You should leave one. Do it today 🙂
If you’d like to listen to the whole thing you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.
If we had to make a bumper stick out of one phrase in this podcast, what would it be?
Download the entire podcast episode #207
Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).
Over the next 24 hrs, I’ll select a blog comment and that person will receive a present funded by the Sober Good Works donations.
Feedback from subscriber:
Alicat (day 184): “I enjoyed this podcast immensely for a couple of reasons. First reason: I love hearing you talk about ‘the further you get from Day 1’ because I am now somewhere around Day 180 and nearly everything positive you have predicted has come to pass. I only very occasionally find myself in a jealous state because of the fun others appear to be having while drinking, and when it does pop up it passes very quickly. Sometimes because I leave the situation and take myself elsewhere. Sometimes because ‘fun’ drinking rather quickly becomes embarrassing or awkward drinking, and watching that reminds me how very happy I am to have left those moments behind me. Mostly I am glad to be feeling better (although I am still awfully tired sometimes, which I am attributing to emotional overwhelm) and looking better and waking up healthy. No churning stomach, no awful headache and no shame. Also, I am always keenly aware of where I have left my car. It is truly terrifying to think back on how many times I woke up wondering where it was.
The second reason I enjoyed the podcast: Your wonderful advice about when to stop fucking talking! I do tend to offer more information, or rationalization, or apology than is ever necessary when answering simple questions. I feel an overwhelming need to make others comfortable with whatever stance I happen to be taking at the moment but you are right; probably they really do not care! I know I usually don’t. OMG – so simple. It is indeed freeing to realize that my doings and decisions really do not matter to most people. Wheeeee!!!
The third reason I enjoyed the podcast: Well it was your parting thought on being a misfit. “So you’re a misfit and who gives a shit?” This has been a growing sentiment for the last few years and especially since about Day 60 of sober living. I have never fit in, and I have never been easy in the company of even the smallest crowd and y’know what? Who gives a shit? So that’s my vote for a bumper sticker: “So you’re a misfit eh? Well who gives a shit?” Good stuff as always Belle.”
in my inbox, from J: “” if you’re a misfit.. who gives a shit” LOL. Honk if you’re a misfit”
Saying “I can’t” takes your power away. Changing the way you phrase it to a more positive way of what you choose puts YOU in charge.
I can’t decide which one I like better for a bumper sticker: “Focus on what you get” or “I’m taking care of me”.
Only 20% is hard.
But now that I re-read that, my bumper sticker maybe misunderstood by some.
this is hilarious. and true. you’re the selected comment for this post. send me an email and i’ll send you a treat 🙂 hugs
“flip wolfie on his head”
“reframe the bogus story”
“I do what’s best for me”
“I don’t drive without a seat belt” This sums it up best for me. Seat belt fastened = comfort zone, self-care, protection. There’s no point arguing with this. However you try to convince me, I don’t drive without a seat belt. Ever. It has a touch of finality to it 🙂
So True. Also giving up the hangovers, the wasted days, the regrets, the shame, yes I am giving up those too.
Bumper sticker…’Why isn’t it about me’?