this is an extract from podcast SP206 being sent out to podcast subscribers today.
it’s about you wanting to be sober. During a recent live call, D asked me what she could do to be sober, since she’d been trying for a year. here’s my answer to her. This is a 3 minute extract from the podcast (and update, she’s on day 34 today, so something about this answer seems to have worked).
You want a different result. And it’s not that there isn’t support available for us, it’s that we don’t want it. If your thought process isn’t working now like it did before, then you do new things now. You’re going to need different things to get you going. you’ve changed. the elevator only goes down. The time to step off is right now.
This audio is taken from podcast SP206 (the full version of the audio is 24 minutes long).
Download the audio podcast episode 206 Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription |
(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).
Question: What phrase do you hear in this audio, perhaps as if for the first time – something that makes you think “oh yeah. that.” I’ll select a comment in the next 48 hrs and will send a present. anonymous comments are fine.
“You’ve changed.”
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not be sober in the rain.
I will not be sober on a train.
Not in the dark! not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
Refusal to try differently sounds a bit Seussical.
And the moral is true for sobriety just like green eggs and ham.
If we throw off our stubborn refusals and fears we might find that we like it.
I do so like Being sober! Thank you! Thank you, Belle-I-am.
I think 242 is my favorite one minute message so far. I love love love hearing you get upset about the garbage truck! Best part of the podcast
What always resonates with me is the elevator analogy. “The elevator only goes down”. I’ve been living in Soberville for 13 months, and I’m not planning to move any time soon. Once you step off the elevator (which is located in a street resembling Harry Potter’s Knockturn Alley), you’re free to roam the best streets, buy stuff at the best shops, eat at the best restaurants and enjoy the warm weather and the breathtaking landscape… So much to see! I wouldn’t want to get stuck in the elevator, I can’t risk using it anymore. If I walk by the elevator one day, and find its music appealing, I run home, listen to podcasts and have a bath. And a nice cup of Twinnings tea. Treats work wonders!
I’m nearing a year sober and (of course!) Wolfie is jumping up and down these days saying, “YIPEE NOW WE’LL DRINK!” Nope. This has been the best year I’ve had in awhile. But I’m still so tempted…
So I think this advice applies to me, too. If what I’ve been using in my toolbox lately is not working right now, I need to try different. Maybe email Belle 3x a day? Avoid restaurants like I did in early sobriety? Catch up on listening to podcasts? I haven’t done those things in awhile.
The difference a year has made is that I now KNOW that trying different works. So this is a skill that is evergreen and we can build on it and, ultimately, trust it.
“You’ve changed”. The diet analogy. Actually made me realize why I’m not losing weight like I did 4 years ago. Hahahah. LIGHTBULB! and the desert-
It’s the “shoulds”. We end up “shoulding” all over ourselves
I just laugh that you refer to your response as “terse” — It was a bit terse now, wasn’t it? hahaha! but totally appropriate – you are correct – there are things I could try differently but… IDONTWANNA !!!! -stamps her feet for added effect. Denial and embarrassment are Wolfie’s sidekicks and they are quite effective.
Great, Belle. My favorite line was, “That it worked before meant that you had a unique combination of timing, motivation, excitement and momentum.” I’d never thought of that before. I had 154 days sober, went through a rough patch with a sick dad and visits with a heavy drinking family, lost my momentum and have been unable to get it back. I couldn’t figure out what had changed. I HAVE CHANGED. That’s the key. Thank you!
Hi Belle, these never work from my phone. Any advice?
i’ve reloaded the link, try it again now.