Audio: I’ll Have to Apologize

When I sent out Sober Podcast Episode #194 to sober podcast subscribers,  i asked listeners to tell me the ONE phrase that stood out for them.

Before I even tell you what the podcast is about, here’s some of the responses I got.


Dancing Rabbit: “I assume neglect, she assumes politeness”

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Max1165: “I didn’t pour alcohol on a sadness and make it worse…and then make today a misery.” I poured alcohol on sadness and made it worse for about 4 years. Then couldn’t seem to find a way out of the misery, long after the original sadness was over. Now I see things with new eyes as well.  All I had to do was remove the alcohol.”

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Sandal: “I didn’t add a problem to a problem.”

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G: My sentence is: “alcohol gloomifies everything” – which it does. I also liked when you said ‘je voudrais un cafe avec beacoup du creme’. For some reason that made me smile and think you were on the right path.”

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BG: “I did not pour booze on my head to make the situation worse.” So often that’s what I did. Too often to count. Thank you for your honesty and humour. I could listen to you all day ? There was something very cool about being in the cafe with you. Listening to you order in French. I felt like I was at the table with you. Also dispelling the myth that sobriety makes everything perfect. Like as if the same shit was not going to bother you. The point you make so well is drinking when bothered will only make it worse plus you never get any good solutions or acceptance under the booze cloud.

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OK, what is the podcast about?
It is about apologizing. Or rather, it is about ME realizing that it’s not all about me.

You can listen to a clip from this podcast and add your comments below. My blog allows anonymous comments. You should leave one. Do it today 🙂

If you’d like to listen to the whole thing you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.


Have you had a situation recently where you have WAY over-reacted and realized that you probably didn’t understand the other person’s behaviour properly?



Download the entire podcast episode #194

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Over the next 24 hrs, I’ll select a blog comment and that person will receive a present funded by the Sober Good Works donations.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • This is classic!!! As I worked in the restaurant business for years, I soooo get this!
    Yup, why isn’t it all about us!!! Me Me Me, we cry!
    You are so funny and honest! Love you to bits and thanks for sharing this. Quebec, huh! I thought you were in Paris?
    Quelle dommage!!!


  • I feel neglect. That had been me for so long. Why doesn’t he want me, what did I do wrong, why does he do this to me. More clarity now.

  • I once launched into a ten minute tirade and a two hour pout because my husband mistakenly bought reduced fat peanut butter. Never mind that he does all of the grocery shopping and cooking and I could be appreciative. Never mind that I’m the only one who eats peanut butter and I had asked him to pick some up and he tried to get me what I wanted. Nope. It was clear to me in that moment that thought I needed to lose weight, as evidenced by the large “REDUCED FAT” label on the peanut butter. The idea that he just grabbed the wrong tub never crossed my mind.

  • Alcohol not only “gloomifies” everything, it whips everything into an insurmountable frenzy that lifts once the booze is removed. loved that you recorded this while out at breakfast! It made me feel like you were talking to ME (and its all about ME, no?)

  • Yes, if I had a penny for every time I over reacted and made a situation about me… sober me takes the time now more to think about the other person and their side of things. Drinking me makes everything about me. P.s. I like the restaurant background in this audio 🙂

  • I’ve been to Paris, it’s probably neglect, because I know how efficient the wait staff usually is. 🙂 OK, now to be nice, she may be the only one ‘on’ at the moment and run off her feet….. Always two ways to look at stuff, I guess. When I was drinking, I would only look at the negative, ie, alcohol gloomifies things.

  • as for the homework…I do that constantly, every. single. day. in my life. My work I do it to patients, I do it to my husband. The only people I “get” are my children. I’m still on hypervigilant mode. I’m always apologizing for my actions, even when not warranted. Who knows if I’ll ever get out of this stage?

  • I have had a lifetime of WAAAAY overreacting because I often misread, misunderstood, assumed and/or misjudged the intention/spirit of the actions/words of others. Most of this occurred (and continues to occur) because I tend to operate under the grand misconception that the world revolves around me. In sobriety it seems that I am able to take a beat, review my perception of events, and then temper my emotional reactions more often. I am still an emotional cactus, but I am working on softening up bit by bit.

  • For years, while drinking, I over-reacted and read into anything my mother in-law did or said. Alcohol made that seem justified. However, when I’m sober, I can handle situations with her so much better! I can see her for who she truly is and have better self esteem so that things aren’t gloomified.

  • Never assume you know what is going on inside another person’s life. Graciousness, not judgement.