Audio: Group Call

I recently recorded a one hour LIVE group call as a special bonus for book owners. And what a great call.

I spoke for the first half hour, and then opened up the line for Q&A. Questions included: how long until you feel better, when is a good time to become a vegetarian, is being long-term sober a burden, and how many bottles of wine have I not consumed since quitting drinking.

But the best part of this call perhaps is the ending.

The full audio is 60-minutes long and it is included for free for all book owners. If you have ordered a paperback copy, an e-book, or the audio version (or the bundle!), then I have already added this 60-minute audio to your library.


Freedom: “What an amazing call! Thank you! SO lovely to hear SoberP too – it’s nice to put a voice to a name 🙂 … Thank you again for everything. For being you. For doing this whole sober online community thing. For the audios. For (you and SoberP) being an amazing penpal. And for constantly and tirelessly reminding me (and really not seeming to mind that you have to tell me the same thing over and over) that I need to keep plugging at my supports. I was so pleased that I had this call to log on to tonight. It was like a holy grail at the end of the day. I knew if I drank I’d be asleep on the sofa and miss it. And I’m here and sober and feeling much better than I did earlier.”

No More Donuts: “The book call was exactly what I needed at this point … the idea of the battery needing recharging and checking is very apt as I’m approaching 100 days. One thing I need to do more of is email you. Knowing there is someone at the other end that ‘gets it’ has been the key ingredient for my success this time round. Huge hugs Belle, you’re amazing. The magnitude at which you help people is enormous, and it really takes courage to do what you’re doing. Massive respect to you.”

Poppy: “Thank you belle. That was truly awesome. I didn’t speak but listened for the hour. I’ve never done anything like that. It did feel good. This whole exercise has taught me a few lessons. This while taking a risk, a chance, putting yourself out there, trying something new – it’s the opposite of being stuck. It’s exciting.”


Below i’ve posted a 3-minute extract from this longer audio.

You can listen to this extract now 🙂 And leave a comment – what do you hear in this audio? Can you rephrase it in your own words? hugs from me


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Over the next 24 hrs, I’ll select 2 blog comments and each person will get access to a podcast of their choice from the archives.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • The above comment, “it’s like wanting to climb mt. Everest in your sneakers” is my favorite comment yet. Have enough Sherpas to show you the way! Great stuff here.

  • It’s like wanting to climb Mt Everest in your sneakers. You’ve done the research, worked hard to get fit, got the motivation and inspiration but you have the wrong footwear. It’s likely you won’t make it to base camp without freezing your feet. The fact that you underestimated your footwear shows that you may also not have hired enough Sherpas to show the way.

    So, load up on batteries, stuff your pockets full of them, stop and charge before they run out. This road trip is a life journey and you want to see what’s around the next bend. Maybe you want the top down so you can feel the wind in your hair. Driving is a privilege and a freedom, don’t get caught stuck on the side of the road with no service station in sight. Sometimes the road is tough going, it’s bumpy, twisty. You have to be present – in the moment – to navigate it mindfully.

    Live the adventure! Day 150

  • You’re right, Belle. Just saying and feeling like I’ll never “want” to drink again is not much in the way of ensuring I never will. I already know it isn’t. It just feels like such a huge problem, this Wolfie thing. I had an epiphany this morning that my issue isn’t just one of accountability and setting up and consistently using sober tools, but ALSO the absolutely false notion that life is happening TO me and I can’t keep up somehow, and that’s what keeps me feeling overwhelmed by it all. I have to change that perspective. I need the tools to change my outlook and then I can see that my sober car really is enough and I am in total charge of that sober car! I am also guilty of overthinking my way back to a drink … so am wondering what you think of my ephipany. To me, it feels like a huge step toward consistent accountability. Hugs to you and thanks for continuing to reach out. I’m not sure I deserve it, but I WANT to deserve it!

  • Listening to this made me think of how we recharge that battery… Perhaps our sober habits (replacement drink, going to bed early, and the other 58 In your marvellous book) are each a wheel on our sober car, both carrying us forward and topping up that charge.

    So the more wheels we have, the better. We want to be an eighteen-wheeler and not a unicycle!

  • This is brilliant. I am on day 17 and the thing I’m doing differently is checking in here daily and reading emails and clicking links. Hope to buy the book soon (once christmas bills, school fees etc are out of the way!).

    I have been here many, many times before running on conviction and shitty experiences. When the memory of the hangover/humiliation fades, so does the conviction and the doubt creeps in. My battery starts to lose power when my memory of the shit times fades which is on average about 3 weeks… I am getting close to 3 weeks now and I am scared that my battery is going to be flat soon and I doubt myself as to whether i can charge it WITHOUT having had an embarrassing drunk moment or a bad hangover. This audio has primed me to start charging it NOW, before it dies.

    I have had no desire whatsoever to drink in the past 17 days, but I know from history, that this desire smashes into my head out of the blue and I become trapped in it.

    I’m also using this battery analogy to address my same pattern of conviction fading to black for my smoking.

    It’s not my fault, I’m not weak or a loser – I just need to carry my battery charger with me and keep topping up the power! Brilliant!

  • Lol re day 1 lists! So happy to be charging my battery every day with juicy sober energy: emailing you, listening to podcasts, reading sober blogs/books, giving myself treats, getting sleep. Yes sometimes Wolfie tells me it’s boring & asks if I’m going to have to do all this forever but I just tell him I’m committed to doing it all every day until at least day 100 because I just really really suit being sober & nothing is going to fuck with it:) Day 73 & loving my life again! Sober & proud!

  • I’ve been starting and stopping with my $2 batteries for years. As I listened to you just now, I was struck by the thought that I was in love with the “idea” of being sober but I wasn’t able to sustain the actual sober experience for very long because I wasn’t really paying attention. It was just my recurring sober daydream.

    Recently I’ve discovered the brand new (to me) world of online sober communities/podcasts, which I never realized existed, or more importantly, had never even searched for, because I was so completely and mistakenly sure that I could do this all by myself.

    Belle, thank you for providing me a path to the sober experience that actually feels like it might be doable this time. Today I am happy to report that it’s Day 11 for me.

  • Adding more tools and using them daily. Equivalent of charging the battery before it becomes empty of its charge. Even though I get that, for me, lately, it has been using those tools inconsistently that has resulted in the battery discharging every week or so. I gotta get rid of those dollar store batteries!!! Time to go shopping some more! Day 3…again.

  • A list…it seems like it should be enough. But how quickly that list loses it’s impact. So many day 1’s were lost on that darned list! If there’s going to be a list then make it one full of all the tools you have. And keep adding to it.

  • Remember what happened to the energizer bunny?
    Keep your battery charged , but for a little while, keep the sparks to a minimum!

  • I was there on the call, listening ( and I said “yes” once!) I like the battery metaphor. One of the things I have learned so far is that in certain ways I was treating myself with disrespect and using wine to make up for that, or at least to cover it up. I am attempting to address that now, and I did not even see it as an issue when I was focused on the evening wines.

  • I heard that conviction on it’s own isn’t enough. And, that’s ok. We must pair conviction and determination with other tools to stay sober. A hammer can’t fix every household problem, we need a wide selection of tools. Same with sobriety. We must have determination, yes, and we must build our sober tool box in order to do something differently. Because, nothing changes if nothing changes.

  • I heard that feeling terrible and having conviction on day 1 isn’t enough. It feels like enough on that day. But, if it was that easy, I’d have stopped drinking long ago. A strong day 1 conviction will only get you to long term sobriety if you add a variety of other support and tools. I like to camp and it made me think of starting a fire. Flint can make a spark and get you to a fire. But, you can only make a good fire if you have kindling to get a little fire going, and then good solid, dry logs to make it all night.

  • Wow this one really spoke to me being that I am only at day 3 after a relapse and thinking about how I never want to do that again and now knowin that thought will fade, but struggling with ways to charge that battery?

  • How many times have I resolved never to drink again? And then found that my strong resolve evaporated in a matter of days. Now I know why.

    It’s a matter of topping up the battery every day, by using sober supports. Doesn’t even need to be a full charge, just enough to make it through the day. And then do the same thing the next day and the day after that.

    Thanks so much belle for all you do and for your knack of giving us new ways of looking at this path to sobriety.


  • So, so true. I’ve had so many ‘Day 1’s like that. Literally years worth. Now I hope that January 20th was really the last one.

  • I love this! I’m getting the biggest fullest battery I can because this sober car isn’t gonna stop! Thank you for helping us all stay connected and focused. Wolfie will try every so often to test the water and see if that battery is charged. All he needs is an opening!

  • The battery must be recharged every day, with positive energy. It’s like plugging in my cell phone at night. I’m not going to wait until my phone dies and I’m stranded on the side of the road with no phone to think, “I’m never gonna let my phone die again!!” Nope, I charge it every day so I start fresh with a full battery. Every day. Before the shizzz hits the fan. Before I am stranded with no tools. For ME, that’s prayer/meditation every morning and every night. It’s talking out my life out loud so that the stress and anxiety and worry and overwhelm doesn’t reach unmanageabke proportions. It’s staying connected to supports like this, my sponsor, my group, my friends. It’s reminding myself, when Wolfie begins to tell me that it wasn’t that bad, that it was. Yes, it was. . . Or it would eventually be. I don’t need to test the waters. Life is better. I deserve it. My family deserves it. My soul deserves a fully charged battery, every single day.

    Day 81

    • For me this speaks to the idea that we need to stop focusing on the negative reasons we want to quit drinking but rather on the endless positive reasons we choose to stay sober. Shifting from a mindset of deprivation to all the new gifts that a sober life offers has been very helpful for me.

      Day 38

      • Yes, brilliant! Better health, clearer head, feeling all the feels, better times with my family, better sleep, better memory, more joy. . . The list is endless.

  • I heard that if I wait until I desperately need a tool, then I’ve waited too long. In other words, consistently using my tools *even when I don’t think I need them* is a good idea. If I hear a voice that says using a tool is a waste of time, I can ignore it because that is Wolfie’s voice.