we collect sober tools. and then don’t use the sober tools. we forget to use them. then can’t figure out what happened, and then we drink.
like buying vitamins and then not taking them. not sure they’ll work anyway so what’s the point.
so here’s a new idea (if what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working, and now it’s time to try different instead of trying harder) – new idea. ok, are you ready?
how about you use the sober tools BEFORE you need them. how about you set up calls, listen to audios day and night, email your sober penpal, read sober blogs, have treats, go to bed early.
how about you do all those things BEFORE you need them.
you’ve tried it this way already: your craving to drink reaches some point that the noise in your head is really loud, and your brain is saying: fuck it, might as well drink, don’t feel better anyway, nothing is really improving, I probably could moderate I never really tried (ha!).
but what if – I know this is a radical thought – but what if you did things BEFORE you needed them. what if you loaded on the supports, the co-pilot, the WHATEVER, and you kept your sober car firmly in the middle of the lane.
you can email your sober penpal every 4 hours, right? if you say you can’t, that’s wolfie saying “I don’t need to do that. I’ll wait to see how i feel. I might not need that. It won’t work anyway.”
and hey look, if you’re continuously sober, we’ll agree that what you’re doing is working. and if you’re not continuously sober, then we’ll agree that you can do some new things now. you’ve tried it the other way. now you want to try some new things. including things you haven’t done before. including things that get at the desire to drink BEFORE it blossoms into something heinous.
what would it mean if you were successful at this sober thing? if you listened to audios morning and night. if you emailed your sober penpal every 4 hrs for the first 16 days. If you set up calls even though you don’t want them, don’t need them, don’t like talking to people. what if you checked with your doctor to make sure that you don’t have something else going on. (and you’ll say – but I don’t like to take my medication, I haven’t told the doctor about the drinking, I haven’t told the doctor about my anxiety/depression, or about my brain that keeps hijacking me – and I’ll say: “are you continuously sober? if you are, then what you’re doing is working. if you’re not, then …. well you know.”)
yes. I’m writing this to you. and to you. and to her. and to you, too. to all y’all. this is an open letter to you-not-continuously-sober. I say this: try different. do things BEFORE you need them. get your sober car firmly in the middle of the lane.
FOR BOOK OWNERS: I’m creating a special, BONUS group conference call on Saturday January 21st and it’s just for book owners. Details coming. e-book, paperback or audio versions all qualify. free call. free call. you can speak or you can just listen. free call 🙂 just for you.