find one person you can tell

this is the end of my three days in a hotel, working on completing the first draft of the sober book. I’ve been bored, tired, irritated, asleep, running, and writing. I’m ready to go home now.

the book is together in one document, in order, and is about the right length after chopping out 62 pages and moving them to a separate file, which can later be used for podcasts!

I’ve hired an in-between editor to review for big things before i send it to the book editor in the UK. The in-between editor has the first chunk as of this morning.

i had to check out of my room at noon, so for the last 5 hrs i’ve been down here in the breakfast nook, typing and typing.

desk trouville FullSizeRender


Extract from the list of 60 possible sober tools, though there are more, here’s #51.

#51. Find ONE person that you can be 100% honest with about your drinking, about your thinking, your worries, your struggles, your excitement, and your joy. That might be a counsellor, sober mentor, a coach, sponsor, or a sober friend. You should have at least ONE person who truly gets what it’s like to be you.





I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Belle, congratulations, that is a fantastic feat of which you should be very, very proud. I am so happy for you! Onward into 2016 with a new sense of purpose.

  • Wow, such a wonderful accomplishment for Belle! It’s an inspiration for me to begin a project of my own for the New Year. I will have more clarity to do this without the Wolfie fog!

  • I thought Belle was my one person but she keeps talking about her high bottom (is that the same thing as a tight ass?). Because I don’t have a high bottom (or tight ass, for that matter). JOKE.
    Seriously, it is good to have Belle as a pen pal and to tell her my drinking woes. I don’t know any other people who binge drink like me because I do it in secret. So for now it’s still on Belle’s sturdy shoulders, though I know she’s swamped.
    Thanks Belle.

    • Wanda. I did my binge drinking in secret too, or I thought I did. I think now more people knew than I realized. So that bring said, there are at least two of us in the world.

  • Well done Belle, it’s su have. Lots done, now you can rest and see the new year in. I must admit I appreciate my sober pen pal, I’d be lost with out her, thanks for being there

  • Thanks for this encouragement. I was thinking about this topic earlier before reading your blog. As much as I’d love my “one person who gets me” to be my hubby, he, sober 5 years, usually ENCOURAGES me to drink because I don’t (didn’t) drink like he did. He doesn’t get it. I guess he sleeps through the sounds of me retching in the bathroom. Or maybe he’s just patiently waiting for me to make the decision on my own – which I finally did. My weakness is that Wolfie keeps reminding me that I didn’t even drink every day, so I don’t really have a problem…. but when I’m with other people, one glass of wine somehow turns into shots…. It still makes my stomach turn to think of my last binge. Thanks for being here.

    • Karen, I have a husband who did this to me for years. He is a total non-drinker. For some reason he wanted me to be a normal kind of drinker. Despite my binges and retching and many failed attempts to stop drinking he would tell me I didn’t have a problem. I don’t know why it was so important for him to believe this. All I know is it fed my problem and my drinking. I’m sorry. Why your husband does this is not important. Just get support from somewhere else.

      • Thank you so much for that Wanda! I tried to have a talk with my hubby which didn’t go well (not surprisingly), but I wanted to give him a chance to “be the one”. lol. Sad to think my own sober husband doesn’t get me. But today a sober friend said she doesn’t drink because she believes “you give your free will to something else, and your free will is the only thing you have”. I think she hit the nail on the head, so maybe she will be my support. Thanks for encouraging me to persevere rather than give in. πŸ™‚

  • Totally agree with this!!! I met a friend in a chat room. We were going through the same thing, and we managed to pull ourselves out around the same time. She gets it, she accepts me, and she also gives me another perspective when I need that. She’s been a huge help in getting.and staying, sober. Somehow just having that support really does give you hope and help you get through the rough patches. I don’t think I could have done it without her.

  • Marvellous! Hugely well done on seeing this through to the point where you’re able to send a massive chunk to an editor. You will be going into the New Year with a lovely sense that the monster is off your desk and you’ve achieved something most people dream about doing. You’ve done it!