dear you. yes i can reset you. day 1 today.
there’s a ‘rapid cycling’ thing that i see that worries me. before you were sober for longer, then sober for shorter, now sober for a day or two at a time. it’s like the restarts are closer together.
i’m clearly not a doctor. and please (fucking please) ignore me. but i gotta say that the ‘rapid cycling’ is worrying.
it might be time now for you to try some new things. what you’ve been doing up to now is good, but it’s not quite enough.
i’m clearly not a doctor (i’ll say it again, it bears repeating). but i think there are probably 60+ sober tools we could use to be sober. Go to bed early is good (it’s sober tool #10). Combine it with not making dinner for a few weeks (tool #3).
Don’t forget tools #28 to #30:
28. Accept that sober motivation is like deodorant: it needs to be reapplied every day.
29. Ask for help.
30. Accept help. Let other people do things even though it won’t be done how you like it.
Here’s tool #54:
54. If you relapse (once, or more than once) or if you are sober but feeling shitty, then add more sober tools from this list. This is a tool within a tool. It is: Add more tools when you relapse. Relapse means that what you’re doing is good but it’s not quite enough.
And maybe it’s time for sober tool #17.
17. Talk to your doctor about medication, like maybe anti-booze medication (antabuse), or anti-depressants or anti-anxiety or whatever might help. If you don’t think you can honestly speak with your current doctor about your drinking, then go to a clinic and talk to someone else. If you’ve tried seeing your family doctor and you’re not happy with the medication or the dosage, then get a referral for a visit to a psychiatrist. They’re the experts when it comes to treating our brains. If you go to the doctor and you don’t mention your alcohol consumption, it’s like going to the dentist and not saying which tooth is aching. they can’t do their job if they don’t have the right info.
If there are #60 tools on the list of things that can help you be sober, each tool might only contribute 5%. So you will need more than one. If you’re hanging around day 1, then you need more. And you don’t know which tool will be the one that will finally help. So you load on a lot of them.
it’s time to stop ‘sipping from the straw of support’. this rapid cycling thing? it makes me worried about you.
PS: i’m one of your sober tools and i’m not the whole toolbox … It’s in the reaching out that things start to change. YOU assemble your sober tool box — it doesn’t arrived fully formed on your doorstep. YOU put it together. YOU add to it when it isn’t working.
It’s time for you.