“Drink. Drink Now.”

This was originally posted for subscribers of the Everything List, where you get notifications of writing things, behind the scene things, and inside-my-head things that are not strictly (or always) sobriety related.

Extract from the book/secret writing project.

There’s no easy way to say it. If you’re reading this, then you have a voice in your head that says “Drink. Drink Now.”

Any time might seem like a good time to have alcohol. A vacation, wedding, funeral, a stressful day, a shitty argument with your husband. A ridiculous anus co-worker.

Or because it’s Tuesday. I mean, Tuesday is a good enough reason to drink, isn’t it? Well, it was for me.

There’s no easy way to tell you this next part either. But you’re still reading. So you know that what I’m saying is (possibly, maybe, probably) true.

I know of a way to get that “Drink now” voice in your head to stop. Yes. It’s true. I have found the cure.

Stop laughing.

Not only will this get the “Drink Now” voice to stop, but the cure will also cause you to sleep better, have less anxiety, spend less money, feel more connected to people. You’ll probably lose weight over time. You’ll travel with less jetlag. Your face won’t look so puffy. Your kids will be happy to hang out with you.

And you’ll be proud of yourself.

I’m not sure how much you’d pay for this cure. But here it is, I’ll give it to you for free: Want all that stuff up there, all those good things? Want the voice in your head to stop?

Just give up drinking alcohol. Entirely. One hundred percent sober. No sips, no one glass with dinner. Have none.

Thud.

That’s the sound of you closing this book and putting it back on the shelf. You’re thinking “oh I so wish there was a way to have all those things – quieter head, spend less, sleep better, feel proud – but there must be some other way to have all that and still keep drinking.”